I'm an addict named Pearl. I was taught to introduce myself this way to put the principle of what I am ~an addict~ before the personality of who I am ~Pearl. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions and is defined as the state of bearing no name. Names are about personality.Pearl is not the name I was given at birth, it's one I chose. The way I came to be Pearl was through an e-mail address. Pearl was my grandmothers' middle name and I am very much like her. She, too, was apparently an addict, but her disease was never arrested. She had a strange sense of humor and a quick fiery temper, often calling people peckerheads. Another reason I chose the name Pearl is my Clean Date, December 7th, Pearl Harbor Day. Until I got clean, I lived a life of anger, destruction, and chaos. Thus, I became Pearl.
Narcotics Anonymous is the only thing that ever worked, for me, to stop using drugs. The program taught me how to change my life, by changing the way I live.
The Basic Text
My first Basic Text, which was the 5th Edition, was given to me. It identified two critical facts, for me. My problem is the disease of addiction and the solution is recovery. But as the book, itself, says, "This book primarily concerns itself with the nature of recovery." It's my choice which of these I live in.When I first got clean, I read from the Basic Text every morning. We didn't have the Just for Today daily meditation book, yet. Even though I didn't retain a lot of what I read, it still helped me to start the day focusing on recovery. It also reminded me to ask God for help to stay clean. And I did retain enough that it gave me something to talk back to my disease with through the day. I'm still amazed at the insight and wisdom written in our book.
Getting a Sponsor
When I first got to NA I often heard things like, "Work The Steps or Die MotherF___er!" or "Our best thinking got us here." and "Get a sponsor and use them!"Soon someone asked, "Do you have a sponsor, yet?" I was told, "Ask someone to sponsor you, who has something you want." And what did I want? I wanted to stop feeling bad about me, I wanted to be happy, I wanted to raise my kids. If I was going to work the Steps I needed to get a sponsor. So, I got a sponsor and started working the Steps. When I was on the 10th Step, I had to change sponsors. I got a new sponsor, but had to start back at Step 1. She sponsored me for 7 years and I worked all 12 Steps with her. Then I started over in the Steps with a new sponsor.
Being a 'Part Of'
Another thing everyone seemed to have was a Homegroup. This is usually the first commitment we make in recovery.Soon someone asked, "Do you have a homegroup, yet?" I didn't. I was told, "Join a group that you look forward to attending and feel welcomed by the members. Part of being a Home Group member means you get there early, stay until all the work is done and you don't miss your homegroup." So, I joined a homegroup where the members made the effort to talk to me and I felt like they cared. By helping to set-up and clean up for the homegroup meetings, I began to feel a part of. I was asked to chair the meeting for a month and given a key to open the church! I was amazed... for the first time in so long I felt trusted. I took this responsibility seriously and joyfully.
