| 6 June 2002 1:59 pm Thursday I had a dream that I was dead last night. Not that I was dying... I was dead. But I didn't think that I was dead, I was just wandering through this institution-like place and other people were there too. We were all animated, also, not zombie-like. My "boss" had me and a small group of people looking at these pamphlets, it was almost like I was grading tests. And when my time was up I went to this large grey room with a table and chairs, and I just sat down and chatted with the other people there. One was Erin, and she told me that Josh found a way for her to get out of there for a while. I was like, um okay... why do we need to get out? That's when I had a feeling that maybe I was dead. Later I was wandering the halls and found two yellow roses on the wall which were designated to me, and behind each was a yellow sheet of paper with letters. One was from my mom, the other from my dad, and they both said how much they missed me and yada yada yada. I think they mentioned how I died, too, but I don't remember that part. That's when I realized I really was dead. Then our "boss" told us to get on the bus because we were taking a field trip to the pottery barn. I guess we couldn't wander around the building for all eternity! I hope that's not really how death is. You wander around not really aware of it until something just tells you. At least it wasn't brimstone and flames, but it also wasn't clouds and an infinite amount of good food. I wasn't scared or unhappy, either, which is good, I think. I also hope it's not a warning that I'm going to die soon! That'd just be bad. Anyways, I'm back in Ithaca. I stopped at home for under 24 hours. I hope my family doesn't think that I don't like being home just because I haven't been there since I graduated nearly 3 weeks ago. They can deal. I'm here for my friend's birthday anyways. Also I need to pack the rest of my stuff so I can go home for good. I can't wait. It's just dead here. Sure, I got to see some of my pals at the bar and gym, which was fun, but the numbers just aren't there. I like crowds and lots of people... there just aren't enough here. BUT, I got to see Ugly Butt at the bar last night, and that was pretty nice. Eye candy. Haha. I've decided that the quote of the day is: "Regret is the stench of inaction." Thomas Edison said that, I believe. I think I may want to make that one of my mantras. Especially after having that dream about being dead. I am glad that I didn't feel any regret... and I don't right now, either. I mean, there are a few choices that I shouldn't have made, but their results helped shape me, and I don't regret that. Those challenges forced me to grow, so I'm actually appreciative of them. If I neer took those chances, though, perhaps I wouldn't have grown in that way. Anyways, I need to go to my favorite store - Wegmans - for some grub and groceries. Also, happy 21st birthday to Laura Raposa. We hit up Moonshadows last night, which was definitely enjoyable (especially becase I got to see my dear Alex). I'm glad I got to celebrate with her. WATCH THE MTV MOVIE AWARDS TONIGHT! Mwa ha ha. |
| howl |