| 15 February 2002 Friday 10:03 am Happy day after Valentines day. Yesterday was pretty fun, espcecially since I made this new pasta thingie (that I'd never tried to make before, much less had a recipe for) that turned out ridiculously tasty, and the garlig bread was SOOOO good. And to top that off, my cupcakes were, as a friend of mine said, orgasmic. Chuck and felt like we were going to explode after eating so much - 3 servings worth. And these weren't girly servings, they were big manly servings! Hahaha. Anyways, we topped the night off by watching a double dose of Family Guy (that show rules, and I don't even want to think about the stuff they do censor because it's pretty brutal as is) then going to see "The Vagina Monologues" on campus. Anyways, time for a healthy b1tch-fest. First of all, the Winter Semi-Formal is tonight (in Emerson Suites starting at 9 pm, ticks still being sold at the door). I'm involved in putting the thing together, but not a single one of my friends is coming. You all f*cking SUCK. (Except you, Chuck, because you have an excuse.) Billie says it's too high-school. Then a whole lot of them are just cheap and don't want to shell out cash for the tickets. And then there are the ones who are just like, no. Now it's not like I do much stuff that involves support from my friends... So the one thing I'd like them all (or at least one) to show up to, no one will. Screw them. I've gone to a bunch of sh1tty events for them over the years, and even paid money for some of them... And it occured to me that they didn't do jack for me. (Well, except showing up at the semi last year, but didn't come in.) I'm not feeling an even trade off here, or even a slightly off-balanced one. No one does sh1t for me, and that's f*cked up. You all (most of you, there're like 4 exceptions, two of whom are Angela and Jen) don't freaking deserve my friendship. So comes the question: is friendship deserved? He1l yes. You know that old saying of it's give-and-take? Well I believe in it. It's not friendship unless both people enjoy each other's company, trust (to a good extent) each other, will be there for each other, support each other... BOTH parties do this, not just one. I became nearly militant in this theory when I stopped talking to my supposed best friend since the 5th grade (not that she noticed) who hadn't actually gone out of her way to find out how I was in more than a year. She was always happy to do something with me when I called her, but she never called me. So I stopped calling, and exactly like I expected, we haven't spoke since. It's not like I didn't try for years... That whole reciprocal thing got in the way. And that should apply here, too. No one does shit for me, so I hope they don't expect me to do anything for them. Is that cold? Look, I don't like spending energy on stuff that I don't think is fair (well, fine, trying to take over the world isn't fair, but I'm still gonna try - mwa ha ha). If people don't treat me well, I intend to treat them the same. And the fact that NOT A SINGLE "friend" is coming to this with (or for, whatever) me tells me a whole freaking lot. This isn't a guilt trip, either, it's statement of fact. While I can be pretty good at guilt-tripping people, and will for my entertainment, in this case its as simple as: you didn't support me, so don't expect anything from me. BUT I WILL enjoy this thing tonight. At least I like the people who are in the group with me putting this on. And their friends are coming, so maybe I won't actually have someone to talk to while I'm there. Whatever. |
| howl |