Amanda was about ready to lose her patience. Her mother was asking her question after question about everything under the sun. Amanda was trying very hard to be calm, but it wasn’t working. Finally, exasperated, Amanda snapped at Dotty. “Can we please stop playing twenty questions here?” Dotty stopped and looked at Amanda, stunned and somewhat hurt by her outburst. Amanda was the most patient person in the world; she never snapped at anyone. She did seem to be under stress lately though, Dotty noted.

Amanda sighed and looked at her mother. She could tell she had hurt her mother’s feelings by snapping at her. She sat down on the bar stool in the kitchen. “I’m sorry,” Amanda said. It seemed as if she had been short-tempered with almost everybody the past couple of days. Lee being away on assignment for two weeks already was really starting to get to her. It was making her edgy. She missed him so much. She hated being away from her husband for so long. Although they talked almost every day, it still wasn’t the same as him actually being there. She looked up to see her mother staring at her. “I guess I’ve just been a little stressed out lately, over…work. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, dear. You really should tell IFF that you can’t always be at their beck and call,” Dotty said, assuming Amanda was stressed out because she was working too many hours.

“Yes, I know, Mother,” Amanda said, going along with her mother to appease her.

“I’m going to go upstairs and take a nice warm bubble bath,” Amanda said to her mother as she turned around and headed upstairs before Dotty could say anything else. She went into her bedroom, closed the door, got undressed, put her hair in a bun, walked into the bathroom, started running the water for bath, got in and started pouring the bubble bath under the faucet.

A short while later, after the bathtub was full of water and bubbles, Amanda was lying back with her head against the back of the bathtub. She was thinking about Lee and how much she missed him and loved him. She was starting to realize that it was very obvious when Lee was away on assignment. She got cranky and edgy. It really showed when he was away.

It was just another day for Lee Stetson, on another case, out of the country again. Oh, how he was sick of being sent on assignment after assignment, out of town, by himself. The assignments were getting longer and longer. Since they never knew when these long cases would end, Amanda couldn’t go with him. She had a family to take care of. Billy continued to send Lee because he knew, or thought he knew, that Lee didn’t have the commitment of a marriage or a family. So, because Lee couldn’t tell anyone about his secret marriage, he had to continue to play the part of a bachelor agent, who didn’t have to worry about anyone or anything, except himself.

For Lee, all the days had begun to blur together recently. He felt like a musician who was on tour and had to spend countless hours away from his family. This was becoming too routine for him. He was going to have to talk to Billy and, without completely giving away his and Amanda’s secret marriage, let Billy know that he couldn’t keep taking every out-of-town assignment anymore. He didn’t know how much more his and Amanda’s marriage could take of this. Hell, he didn’t even know how much more he himself could take of being away from Amanda like this for weeks at time. All he knew was that the first thing he was going to do when he got back into town was talk to Billy.

Amanda was sitting on the couch in the living room reading a book. Dotty and the boys were away for the weekend, visiting Dotty’s sister, Lillian. Amanda really had nothing to do. Of course, of all the weekends for her mother and boys to be out of town, Lee was away on assignment this weekend. She sighed; it seemed things always worked out this way. The front doorbell rang, startling Amanda. She got up, went to the door, opened it and was surprised at what she saw. There was a man standing at the door, holding a clipboard in one hand and a long, thin, gold box in the other hand.

“Amanda King?” the man asked.

“Yes,” she said.

“I have a delivery for you. I need your signature,” the man said handing her the clipboard.

Amanda took the clipboard from him and signed her name in the space provided. The deliveryman took the clipboard back from her after she was finished signing and handed her the long, thin, gold box that was in his other hand.

“Thank you,” Amanda said.

“You’re welcome,” he said and turned around and walked away.

Amanda closed the door, turned around and walked into the kitchen, setting the box down on the dining room table. She opened up the box to find a dozen long stemmed red roses inside. She smiled. There was a little envelope lying on top of the roses. She picked up the envelope and opened it. She took out the card. Written on the small white card was the sweetest message she had ever read in her life:

Amanda buried her head in Lee’s chest. Lee’s arms tightly encircled her. They were standing in his apartment, saying their last goodbyes before Lee had to leave.

“How long this time?” Amanda asked, finally looking up at him.

“I don’t know,” Lee said quietly. He had been sent out of town four times in the last month.

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” Amanda said as the tears began to roll down her cheeks. He had been gone so much lately and she missed him terribly.

“I know, me too, but I have no choice. You know I’d rather stay here with you,” he said as he wiped away the tears that were falling from her eyes.

“I know. It’s just that you’ve been gone so much lately. I already feel like I don’t have a husband, and your having to go away all of the time just makes that feeling even stronger.”

“I know. I feel the same way. If I could change my life to spend more time with you, I would, but unfortunately this is the life of a secret agent. Being an agent yourself, you know how the business can be sometimes.”

“I know, Lee, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Believe me, I don’t like it either, Amanda,” Lee said. Amanda buried her head back in Lee’s chest; Lee’s arms were still around her. They stood that way in silence for what seemed to be an eternity. Lee finally pushed Amanda back a bit and stared into her eyes. He captured her lips with his own in a passionate kiss. They broke away, breathless.

“Well, unfortunately, I have to go now,” Lee said sadly.

“All right,” Amanda said, reluctant to let him out of her arms.

“Come on. I’ll walk you down,” Lee said.

He had already put his luggage in his car, so he wouldn’t have to worry about it as he was leaving. He and Amanda walked out the door and he locked up his apartment. They walked to the elevator hand in hand, but in silence. Lee pushed the button and the elevator opened immediately. Lee took Amanda in his arms on the ride down in the elevator. Before they knew it, they were out of the elevator and at Amanda’s Jeep Wagoneer.

Lee pulled Amanda into his arms. “I’ll call you when I get to New York.”

“Okay,” Amanda said, tearfully.

“I’ll try and wrap this thing up as quickly as possible, okay?”

“Okay,” Amanda said.

“Now get going before I decide to kidnap you and bring you with me to New York,” Lee said.

Amanda laughed through her tears.

“I love you, Amanda. I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you too.” They hugged and kissed one last time.

Lee watched Amanda get into her Jeep Wagoneer and drive off. He missed her already. ‘Maybe a career change wouldn’t be a bad idea,’ he thought…

Amanda sat on the couch in the Agency hotel hide out. She had her hands crossed in front of her. Lee was sitting on the back of the couch, facing her.

“Look, it’s gonna be all right,” Lee said as he quickly put his hand over Amanda’s crossed hands and then took it away again.

“Is it?” Amanda asked, sighing.

“Yes,” Lee said.

“Oh boy, don’t you ever get tired of this?” Amanda asked, sighing again.

“It comes with the territory,” Lee said casually.

“No, that’s what I mean. Don’t you ever get tired of the territory? I mean lately, I feel like I can’t even make any plans in advance anymore. I missed Phillip’s play when he was Rumplestiltskin. It looks like I may even miss Jamie’s first open house at school.” Amanda lowered her head. Missing her children’s important events was quite upsetting.

“Yeah, I hear you. This job has cost me my share of relationships, that’s for sure,” Lee said looking away from Amanda.

“Why do you keep on doing it?” Amanda asked seriously.

“It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it,” Lee said, nodding his head and laughing, looking back at Amanda.

“Oh, come on, I’m trying to be serious,” Amanda said.

“Well, I guess I am too,” Lee said, the laughter that was in his voice a moment ago now replaced with a serious tone. “It’s a job someone has to do. I happen to do it well. There are parts of it I don’t like,” he said looking away from Amanda again, “and there are parts of it I like a lot.” Lee looked back at Amanda and looked her right in the eyes. His stare caused Amanda to lower her head. “Well, what about you?” Amanda looked back up at Lee. “I mean there are part-time jobs that pay a lot more than this, that are a hell of a lot less dangerous, right?” Lee asked, sort of laughing.

“I don’t know. I guess I have some sort of an idea about making the world a safer place for Phillip and Jamie,” Amanda said, smiling. “It’s really pretty silly, isn’t it?” Amanda lowered her head again.

“No, no it isn’t.” His statement caused her to look back up at him. Lee’s eyes penetrated Amanda’s thoughts. He spoke slowly, “And that’s why we are stuck with this.”

He always knew exactly what to say and when to say it. “Yeah, I guess so,” Amanda said softly, smiling. They stared at each other for a moment in silence and then Amanda sighed and lowered her head again.

Amanda was cleaning up the house. She actually had it to herself for the evening. Dotty was out on a date and the boys were staying the night at a friend’s house. As luck would have it, Lee was out of town on assignment. He had been gone for two and a half weeks already. She missed him so much. She wished she could see him, if even just for a day or two. As if someone had magically heard her silent plea, she heard a familiar tapping on the back door. ‘It couldn’t be,’ she thought, as she headed for the door. She opened the door to find Lee standing there with a solitary orchid in his hand. He handed it to her and smiled. She took it and without a word, leaned into him and captured his lips in a most passionate kiss.

After they finally, reluctantly, pulled away from the kiss, Lee said, “Wow, I should go out of town more often.”

“What are you doing here?” Amanda asked, pulling him inside and shutting the door behind him. She walked over to the kitchen counter, put the orchid down and walked back over to him. “Not that I’m complaining by any means, but you didn’t tell me that you were coming home today.”

“Well, that’s because until today, I didn’t know whether I was or not. It’s only for a couple of days, Amanda, and then I have to go back to California. I told Billy that I desperately needed to take a few days off to take care of some personal business in D.C. Finally, after practically begging him, he said yes. This case has been crazy. It’s been a real heavy load, but I needed to see you.”

“Oh, Lee, that is so sweet of you,” Amanda said, going into his open arms.

He held her silently for a moment. He finally pushed her back a bit and stared at her. “I love you,” he said, in a soft heartfelt voice.

“I love you too, Lee,” she said.

“I see you’re home alone.”

“Just for the time being. Mother will be back soon.” “Do you think everyone can live without you for one night?” Lee asked with a mischievous smile on his face.

“I think so. The boys won’t even be home until tomorrow; they’re staying the night at a friend’s house. I’ll just leave a note for my mother telling her that I got called into work and have to work all night.”

Amanda left her mother a note and then she and Lee left. As to not make her mother suspicious, they drove separate cars.

“Oh, Lee, I don’t want you to go back to California in a few days.”

“I know. I don’t either, Amanda, but I have to.”

“I know,” Amanda said, sighing.

“Hey,” he said looking at her, “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“I know I shouldn’t complain,” Amanda said. “You were able to get a few days off just to come by and see me, but I miss you when you’re gone for so long.”

“I miss you too, Amanda.”

They laid in silence for what seemed to be an eternity. Lee finally broke the silence. “I love you,” he said, softly.

“I love you too,” Amanda said.

After a while, Lee felt Amanda’s even breathing and knew that she had fallen asleep. It felt so good to him to have her asleep in his arms. He didn’t want to go back to California without her, but he had no choice. Billy hadn’t really responded to his earlier request for fewer out-of-town assignments. He was going to have to have a more serious talk with him when he’d finished in California.

Amanda was very excited. It was her and Lee’s one-year wedding anniversary. They had special plans to go out that night. She was in a cheery mood. She was downstairs admiring the dress she had bought for this very special occasion. She was trying to think about what jewelry she could wear with her dress. The boys were already at school and Dotty was upstairs doing her morning routine. She was just about to take the dress back upstairs to her room, when there was a slight tapping on her back door. She smiled, put the dress down on the back of the couch, walked to the door and opened it. There was Lee, looking nervous and upset. Amanda’s smile immediately faded. She looked behind her to make sure her mother wasn’t coming, walked out the door and then closed it behind her. Lee took her hand and led her to the outdoor bench. They sat down and Amanda said, “What’s wrong?”

“Um, Amanda, Billy needs me to go out of town today,” Lee said, looking down, so he wouldn’t have to look Amanda in the eyes.

“Today?” Amanda said. “Can’t you go tomorrow?”

“That’s what I asked Billy. I told him I had special plans tonight. He said he needed me to go today. I told him again that I had special plans for tonight and that I would be willing to go tomorrow. All he said was, ‘You know how this business is, Scarecrow.’” Lee looked up at Amanda with a genuinely pained expression on his face. “I’m really sorry, Amanda, I promise I’ll make this up to you when I get back.”

“And when will that be?” Amanda snapped.

Lee sighed. He knew he had hurt Amanda. “I don’t know,” he said. She looked down. He was getting tired of paying the price of being in this business with his personal life. It seemed he was always sacrificing some aspect of his personal life for his job. He took Amanda’s hand. “Amanda, I really am sorry. You know how special I wanted tonight to be.”

“I know,” was all that Amanda said. She really did understand, but it didn’t make it any easier. The tears that Amanda had been trying to hold back finally flowed freely.

Lee felt guilty and horrible. “I’ll try to get back as soon I can. I promise.”

“When do you have to leave?”

“In an hour,” Lee said. Amanda looked down.

“I really do promise that I will make this up to you when I get back,” he said taking her into his arms.

“I love you,” Lee whispered softly.

“I love you too, Lee.” Amanda said, trying to gain her composure, somewhat.

Lee softly stroked Amanda’s cheek, wiping her tears away. She looked up at him. He kissed her ever so lightly.

After that, he brought her back into his arms and sighed. Neither one of them knew how much longer they could continue to sacrifice their personal lives for this business. It was becoming too hard on both of them. They needed to do something about this. They didn’t know what yet, but they would think of something. They always did.

**Ooo ooo ooo Wishing you, wishing you were here**