He didn’t pull back as Rufus kissed him. Just slightly parted his lips and allowed himself to be kissed, and to kiss back. When Rufus gently placed his hands on his hips and pulled him closer he didn’t fight it. In fact, he did nothing. Not because he didn’t want to. Because he did want it, he just didn’t know what to do. How to accept all of the things Rufus was offering him with his soft touches.

“You ok?” Rufus asked, holding Reno’s face turned towards him with gentle fingers.

He was so close. Rufus’s forehead touched his, and his words were cold over Reno’s pale features. Reno moved his hand up the other’s back, stopping, grasping the fabric of the old t-shirt that Rufus still wore. He was afraid to move, afraid to spoil it all.

“Yeah,” Reno slowly nodded, his nose rubbing over Rufus’s nose.

Rufus let out a little laugh, kissing him once more, this time deeper than before. Reno held him tighter, pressing his body against the other.

“Do you want me to stop?”

Do I? Reno wasn’t quite sure what he really wanted. The ever present urge to run away screaming at the top of his lunges was still there. But leaving was not what he wanted. He was glad being back with Rufus. Just a glimpse of the slums had proven to him that it was not the place he wanted to be. And if he had anything to say about it he would never return down there again. He could stay with Rufus. It was something that had never really dawned on him before. Rufus had told him more than once that he could stay, but somehow it had still not seemed possible. But he could, he could really stay here if he wanted to. With Rufus. Now it was he who laughed.

Rufus broke free from their almost-kiss, one eyebrow quirked as he looked at Reno.

“No,” Reno said, a smile on his face, “I don’t want you to stop.” With something that he could only describe as new found strength he kissed Rufus, who seemed slightly shocked but quickly recouped and intensely kissed back.

“Reno,” Rufus whispered close to his ear, “I want to do something for you.”

“It’s ok, Rufus, it really is. You don’t need to do anything.”

“Sssh,” Rufus just said and tangled his fingers with Reno’s, leading him to the bedroom.

The room was dark, save for the pale moonlight that always seemed to find a way to perturb the darkness. Outside Midgar lay underneath the glittering streetlamps. But there were just clouds from where they were standing, dark and heavy, forever staining the Midgarian sky.

Reno felt Rufus’s hands on his hips, pulling him back against him. He rolled his head to the side, exposing his neck to Rufus who gently tasted the cool skin.

His hands stroked up and down Reno’s abdomen. The touch seemed full with restraint. As if Rufus had to summon every last bit of his self-control not to rip Reno’s clothes to pieces. After all, Reno knew Rufus well when it came to these sort of things. Although he’d always liked Rufus, what they had had was something more than what he’d had with the rest of his ‘customers,’ their meetings had still left him with one or two bruises. Rufus was the sort of man who took all of his frustration out in the bedroom, so to speak.

But he’s damn good, Reno smiled to himself. I really do want this.

Finally Rufus grasped the ends of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. Reno arched his back a little as his hands ran over his bare skin. His head was bent back, almost resting on Rufus’s shoulder. If it wasn’t for Rufus’s arms around him he would probably have lost balance and fallen. He moaned, surprised of how easily and willingly it had slipped. Uncontrollable and unpredictable.

“Oh my gods,” he laughed as Rufus briefly broke away from their kiss.

Again, Rufus looked at him quizzically. “What is it?” His expression changed to something that was a mix of amusement and mild annoyance.

Reno just continued laughing and Rufus almost stumbled and fell as Reno pressed all of his weight against him. Rufus pushed him up, holding him tighter with his arms wrapped around his waist.

“What’s so funny?”

“I don’t know,” Reno sighed, out of breath from laughing.

“You are crazy…” Rufus slid out of the way, making Reno fall backwards onto the bed.

He didn’t sink into the soft mattress but instead raised himself on his elbows into a half-sitting position. Rufus was soon over him, kissing him and urging him down on his back. Reno obeyed. Mostly because he wanted it. Laying on his back in Rufus’s bed didn’t seem so bad. He responded eagerly to Rufus’s kisses and pulled him down on top of him. Rufus still wore his t-shirt, and the fabric was part of a different sensation as their bodies moved against each other. Reno moved his hands in under it, pulling it out of the back of the lining of Rufus’s trousers. He took the opportunity to explore parts of Rufus’s body that he’d never had the chance to really get a good feel at before. Rufus traced his tongue along his jaw line, stopping to gently suck on his chin before moving downwards.

Once he tried to reach for Rufus’s belt buckle, but the other man determinedly slapped his hands away, pinning them both to either side of him.

He looked up at Reno. “Don’t do anything,” he whispered with the hint of a promise of something unspoken in his voice.

Rufus teasingly licked and kissed Reno’s naked chest, smiling as Reno whimpered under the touch. At last he let go of his hands. He undid Reno’s pants, pulling them off. He raised himself to do so, sitting between Reno’s legs, looking down on him.

“Ok?” he asked.

Reno nodded. Rufus smiled at him and bent down for a kiss. Reno wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight as their bodies slowly started moving in a rhythm. He wanted to pull Rufus’s t-shirt off as well. But he knew that was not a part of what Rufus had planned. So instead he waited for the other man to make the next move.

There was a falter in his breathing as Rufus reached in under the lining of his boxers. He shifted his weight a bit off of Reno so that he could raise the lower part of his body. He shivered as Rufus’s hands trailed over his ass, down his legs, his boxers sliding off in the same touch.

For a moment the room seemed darker than before, as if someone had put a veil over his eyes, one of those thin dark ones the ladies always wore at funerals. His breath echoed in his ears, and Rufus’s voice was dimmed when it reached him, cutting through the fog that was slowly draining him of life.

“Relax, Reno. I won’t hurt you, I swear.”

He felt Rufus’s lips on his again.

“I want to do this for you. Please, let me.”

Reno nodded, as much a confirmative answer as the only movement he could coop with in his paralysed numbness.

Rufus didn’t hesitate, though. He never did. He started kissing his way downwards, over Reno’s abdomen. Reno shivered and flinched, letting out little whimpering sounds that he couldn’t control. The further down Rufus came, though, he realised that his reactions were more out of anticipation than anything else.

Reno closed his eyes, biting his lower lip as Rufus took his length into his mouth. He almost cried out at the touch but bit down harder to stop himself. Rufus didn’t move, just held him there. He felt Rufus’s warm mouth surround him. The insides of his cheeks close tight around him for a second then let go, then repeated again.

He twisted on the bed, throwing his head back and forth. He took a hold of Rufus’s soft hair in his hands, just holding them there to have something to hold onto.

Rufus noticed Reno’s reaction and started licking and massaging his length with his tongue.

Damnit, Reno thought, he’s better than me at this. And I’m supposed to be a pro!

*****

The next morning Reno woke up early. He was still in Rufus’s bed, with Rufus deep asleep next to him. For a moment he just lay there, with his cramped up limbs in uncomfortable positions.

Then he finally moved, careful not to wake the other man up. He rolled over to the side, looking out the window.

Why couldn’t things be just fine? Why couldn’t he feel fine?

Last night had been great. He couldn’t deny it even if he wanted to. He had even written it down on a piece of paper that he’d quickly tucked into one of the pockets of his jeans.

I really really really liked it!!!!!

That was what he’d written. The note was so that he would not be able to doubt last nights feeling when he woke up. So that he could be sure of what had really happened and how he’d felt about it. But it didn’t seem to matter anymore. The knowledge of how great it had been didn’t make the sickness he felt growing inside of him any easier. It made it worse, if anything. Rufus had given him something, unconditional pleasure, expecting nothing in return. At least not right away. Still, Reno wasn’t sure he could accept it.

I want Rufus, I really do. I do.

The memory of being parted from him and back in the slums was still too fresh, still too painful. His throat hurt, the pain pounding in his ears.

I liked the way he touched me. It felt good, it really did.

He tried to clear his head of every thought, it just sounded like he was trying to convince himself anyway. The lump in his throat was growing, threatening to choke him. He sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, trying to do it without waking Rufus up.

Reno ran to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. Sliding down to the floor he felt like he’d run a mile. He crawled over to the toilet, crouching down in front of it, waiting for the sickness to either come up or leave him. He sat there for something that could have been anything from seconds to minutes to hours.

The shrill sound of the phone made him jump up on his feet, pressing himself against the cold, tiled wall. Rufus must have answered it on the second ring, because after that he heard nothing more.

He waited, nothing but his own breathing ringing in his ears. Then, there was suddenly a knock, making him start.

“Reno?” he heard Rufus’s voice on the other side of the door. “Are you in there?”

He tried to collect his breath, making his voice as neutral as possible. “Yeah, I’m here.”

“Can you come out?”

No, no, nonono.

At first he didn’t speak. Then, as if watching a film playing on his retina, he saw his arm raise itself and the hand reached out to unlock the door.

Rufus was leaning against the wall, pale blue eyes peering out at him from behind the golden bangs.

“You ok?” he asked.

Reno nodded. “Yeah, I just needed to pee.” He moved uncomfortably under Rufus scrutinising gaze, shrugging one of Rufus’s shirts into place as it hung over his slender frame.

“What time is it anyways?”

“Almost seven.”

Reno raised a brow, ready to say; then what the hell are we doing up already? Then he remembered the call.

“Who was that on the phone?”

“That was Heidegger, one of the executives. One of the Turks is in the hospital. I’m not quite sure what has happened to him. But I talked to Tseng, the head of the Turks, he said that Rude had been down in the slums.” He paused, briefly, glancing at Reno as he turned to go find his jacket. “Tseng had sent him down there looking for us.”

“What?” Reno’s word drifted out in the room. He wasn’t sure how to treat this new information. Why would this Rude be in the slums looking for them? What had happened to him? Did it have anything to do with himself?

“I have to go over to the hospital, to make sure he’s alright and see to it that he gets transferred to Shinra’s infirmary as soon as he’s in any shape to go on the helicopter.”

Rufus was now fully dressed, checking his pockets for his keys, finding them, looking over at Reno again who was still leaning against the doorframe to the bathroom.

“You know what?” Rufus smiled slightly. “I’ll wait while you get dressed. Hurry up!”

“Eh, I don’t know. Maybe I should just stay here.”

Rufus shook his head. “Reno, the last time I left you alone here you disappeared. I’m not having anymore of that. Now, just get dressed.”

*****

After hours of waiting the smell wasn’t so bad anymore. The men in white coats were less intimidating than before and the nurse that ran back and forth to them with new information could have been really hot. If she had been a he, maybe.

They saw her coming down the hall, walking slowly towards them as if hoping something would happen to prevent her from reaching them. After Rufus’s last outburst Reno couldn’t really blame her.

They sat in something that looked like a small glass cage, away from the other visitors and impatiently waiting relatives. Only place in the damn building that they would let you smoke in, even if you happened to be the President’s son. Rufus was sipping hot coffee out of a plastic cup, fresh out of the machine that needed a good kick to start. His cigarette slowly burnt down on the edge of the ashtray.

Reno on the other hand was inhaling deeply on his own cigarette while looking through some brochures spread across the round table. Not that reading about different illnesses was something that he enjoyed very much, it was just something to do to make the time pass a little quicker. It wasn’t much help, though. Time still seemed to creep with the same speed as a snail in slow-motion.

“You think they’ll let us see him soon?” Reno asked, rubbing his aching neck.

“They’d better,” Rufus muttered, stabbing out the cigarette with a vengeance.

Reno didn’t really listen, though. Maybe it was just the inhuman amount of hours he’d spent in the hard chair. But something had caught his eye. A man was coming towards them, striding past all of the nurses and the doctors with confident steps. His long, dark hair being caught in the draught of his pace. He didn’t look happy. At all.

“Uh, I think someone’s coming over here.” Something about the man made Reno feel like curling up into a ball on the bruise giving chair.

Rufus looked up just as the door to the boot was slid open with a loud clank.

“Tseng!”

“We’ve got a problem, Rufus,” the man said without sparing Reno as much as a glance.