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The 10 ways.
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| 1. Nod. At whatever things they are going to say. We know that Miss Sum gonna be telling them about you whistling, or you drawing anime when she is talking about some chinese idioms.Though we know the truth is, you are in fact, whistling at her oh-so-divine figure and that you are actually drawing anime porn. Don't worry. We won't tell. But anyway, just agree to whatever your parents gonna be saying. If you agree to them to make you stay at home for the next 5 eons, it's not our problem. |
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2. Cry. Do a Qiong Yao novel. Prepare extra hanky. If you have acting skills as plastic as Fiona Xie, just rub some Tiger Balm below your eyes. See number 3. |
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| 3. Do a mediacorp-drama-serial. Get some acting tips from Doranne. Her extremely successful portrayal of a sick girl skipping lit class was Oscar-worthy. Stare into space. Lament about *sob* how you felt so stupid *sob* not to have studied hard enough *sobsob*. Stand up. Look out of the window and place you hands on the window grille. Look up to the sky. Ask yourself why didn't you study. Remember to always keep your eyebrow up. Eyes must always be puppy-like. Cry. Don't know how? See number 2. |
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4. Blame it on MOE. Talk about this JC system. Remember to memorize your GP notes on education. Talk about how everyone is failing. You are even thinking about going into the poly route. (of course you aren't. don't be silly.) It is their fault anyway. |
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| 5. Blame it on yourself. Never blame it on other people. Except MOE of course. Your parents can counter-attack and say you are always blaming other people, never yourself. |
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6. The old conventional way. Promise them 3As and 2A1s for the promos. |
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7. Appear shocked. "OHMYGAWD!" didn't expect to do so badly cos i have been studying so damn bloody hard for the past few months ohmygawd all the hours i spent at orchard library studying the nature and scope of economics and yet i still fail ohmygawd. see number 3. or refer to doranne loke for tips. alternatively, try to recall that civics and moral educational video your secondary school teacher showed you. any sort of that video will do. |
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8. Do not feign ignorance. What am i saying. You are always ignorant. Just do not make it so obvious. You can do a 2-in-1! Nod and act. Keep nodding and act like you are totally into listening to what they are saying. Refer to number 1,3,7 or refer to Doranne Loke. |
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| 9. The ultimate soap opera. Pretend you are acting in the new season of A Kindred Spirit. Cry like no tomorrow. Screams and shout about yout results. Slap yourself 27 times and repeat "i will not do it again." blame everything on yourself. but do not not blame it one MOE. This option is only for the one who is most likely to win an Oscar. This option is only for Doranne Loke. |
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10. Just listen. |
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back. |
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