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| Idiotorial:
Legolas is SoOoOo FOXY |
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Whoa, have you guys seen Lord
of the Rings yet? It is soooo kickass! Even non-RPG-nerds can appreciate
the beauty of this film.
Seriously, though, let's get down to what truly makes this movie
great. No, it's not the super-high tech special effects. Nor the
groundbreaking computer-generated creatures. No, it's not even the
breath-taking sets. When it's all boiled down, the movie really
revolves around that tasty English muffin Orlando Bloom. Sigh, I'd
like to butter his nooks and crannies. Rowr.
I swear, this acting school newbie (who had a role in 1997's Wilde)
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is definitely going to hit it big.
Fresh out of London's Guildhall School of Music and Drama, Bloom snagged
the role of the elegant elfen prince Legolas in this year's much hyped
holiday blockbuster, Lord of the Rings.
Bloom portrayed the lankalicious Legolas Greenleaf wonderfully. Have
you people seen those pictures of him with his bow? God, he's so hot.
But only with the long silver hair though. Normally he's got this
almost-bald haircut that makes him look like a gay Calvin Klein underwear
model. But when he has that hair! Holy shit! That gorgeous hair! It
makes me want to attack him with my comb and an arsenal of pink bows!
It's friggin beautiful! Every time Legolas was attacked by the fugly
orcs, my heart screamed, "NOOO! NOT THE HAIR!!" |
Peter Jackson was terribly easy on Legolas. Every time the fellowship
was attacked, Aragorn and Boromir got all bloody and shit (hell, Gimli
was a dirty little dwarf anyway) but Legolas came out all pretty.
It's almost as if he can use his prettiness as a shield against those
nasty looking little gnomes.
I can't wait until the next movie comes out! I'll be watching out
for Legolas. Man, I'd never lego his ass.
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