"Come on, come one, come on, come on, come on," Jack repeated anxiously. He bounced on his toes, trying to instill the same sense of urgency in his team members that he swore was going to kill him. "Let�s do it!!!" He bellowed as he ran victoriously out of the room. Three seconds later, a look of total dejection set squarely on his face, he re-entered . "Whatever happened to the Delta house I used to know?" He looked pensively at Sam and Daniel.

Sam dropped her head in sheer exasperation. She knew this mood all too well, and if she had to listen to "Animal House" jargon all the way to Chicago she was going to have pack her Excedrin Migraine.

Daniel threw his books into his duffel and pronounced himself ready to rumble. It�s not that he relished the thought of fishing, not by a long shot. But the tranquility of a cabin on a lake seemed just about as close to heaven as he could imagine. They had been on three back to back to back missions that were excruciatingly laborious, both physically and mentally. All he really wanted to do was read a book that didn�t require a second text in order to decode the essence.

"Okay, yeah, I�m�let�s go," stated Daniel proudly, twitching with excitement.

Jack pounded Daniel�s shoulders as if he were wearing shoulder pads.

"Ow! Why the hell�d you do that? Sam�s the one not ready," Daniel declared rubbing his shoulder.

Jack turned to see that she was, in fact, still packing. He grabbed the sides of his head and let out a whimper. "Please, Sam. Carter. Major! Enough all ready!" He pantomimed the action of zipping a duffel and exiting the room.

Sam had to smile at this show of real immaturity. At last she was ready to leave the mountain.

Jack rubbed his hands together excitedly. "This is gonna be great!" He enthusiastically exclaimed. He picked up his own duffel and led them out of the room.

"Sam, you said we have a lay-over in Chicago, " Daniel said as he threw his bag over his shoulder. "What do we need in Chicago?"

"We�re taking the time to refuel, plus the colonel has a package waiting for him," she told him casually.

"What do you need to pick up, Jack?" Daniel asked.

Jack verily skipped down the hall, turned and began to explain.

Carter interjected before he could begin. "I swear if you say �I�d like ten thousand marbles, please,� I�m going to have to leave you here for dead," she warned him.

Jack dropped the comical expression on his face, a little hurt by the inference. "Well, I was, but I won�t now. There. Are you happy, Mrs. Wormer?" he sneered at Sam. "I have a little bit of Chicago waiting for me. Not a big deal. It�s too bad Teal�c couldn�t join us. I don�t think he appreciated the old place the last time I took him up."

They reached the elevator. When the doors slid open, the three entered casually. Jack acknowledged the airman operating the lift and told him to take them to the surface.

When they had almost reached the surface, Jack put an arm around Daniel�s shoulder and said, "I sure hope the Dexter Lake Club is open." He abruptly turned to Daniel, pushing personal boundary issues out the window. "You mind if I dance wich yo date?" he asked Daniel.

Daniel looked at Jack and responded in kind. "Why, no. Not at all. We were just leaving!" he said as the elevator doors swung open.

Jack took Sam by the hand and danced her out of the elevator.

The corporal at the switch kept his eyes straight ahead.

Jack dipped Sam.

She rolled her eyes and gave him her best steely gaze.

Daniel had been seeing more and more of this familiarity between Jack and Sam. It never came up during their missions. Never, in fact, was there an inkling of this new dimension anywhere near the 28th floor. But as soon as they left the facility, in the freedom of the outside world, this new level of affection between them was apparent. Daniel didn�t quite know what to make of it. He knew they had feelings for each other. But was this the beginning of more than they had expressed?

The flight from Colorado to Chicago was technically a very smooth trip. But for Sam, the long hours above the clouds seemed to go on endlessly. Everything from the Germans bombing Pearl Harbor to Double Secret Probation made its way into their conversation. Sam had no desire to join them in their banal frat-boy activities, and so she piloted the small plane in deep thoughts of projects she could have been working on rather than having to sit in the cramped cabin with Bluto and Otter.

*****

"This shouldn�t take very long," Jack stated as he left the fuselage and made his way into the hangar.

Daniel turned to Sam. With Jack gone it was his chance to question her about the dancing incident back at the mountain. "Hey, uh, Sam. What�s going on with you and Jack?"

Sam�s head snapped up and she looked at him in total shock.

Daniel cleared his throat. "I, uh, I wouldn�t respond that way if anyone ever asks you if you�ve heard of this super-secret Stargate thing," Daniel said.

Sam seemed almost pained, shook her head and grabbed nervously at her throat. "Um� I� it�s� well," she shook her head and took a deep breath.

"Those are all great words to start a sentence. Why don�t we choose one and see where it leads," prompted Daniel sarcastically.

Her mouth was fixed open in mid word, but she couldn�t conceive of which word she wanted to produce. She wanted to tell Daniel what was going on. Hell, she wanted someone to tell her what was going on.

It was just a very comfortable situation where they would spend time together not particularly doing anything, just as long as it was together. They were taking their relationship to a decidedly inappropriate level where military regulations were concerned, but they agreed that if they just took things slowly, everything would...well? They made an agreement that after each mission, when the debriefing with General Hammond was over, they�d find a quiet place to debrief on how they thought the most important relationship was working--that of CO and his 2IC. When they felt sure that nothing had been compromised, they�d carefully take the Sam and Jack relationship up a notch.

And notches they were. Tiny, minute notches that seemed like chasms for these two militarily minded people.

"We�re a..." she swallowed hard before proceeding. "I guess we are a...we. Kind of. In a limited sort of way."

To Daniel it looked as though she were having her fingernails removed. He nodded slowly, happy for his friends, but just a little confused.

Sam knew what she had said must have sounded like complete gibberish, so she tried to clarify. "We�re taking things incrementally, like levels."

"And what, if I may ask, level are you at now?"

"The using first names and occasional terms of endearment, holding hands, being open and honest with each other level." She knew it sounded childish, but the stakes were such that even the slightest sentiment couldn�t be considered inconsequential.

"And how long have you been..." he swirled his hand in the air, "leveling off?"

"Six months," she stated afraid what Daniel might say in return.

He stared at her, blinked a few times and then found the response he was looking for. "Whoa, slow down," he told her, and then regretted it. He knew they were acutely aware of how dangerous a relationship like this could be, including for himself while under their command. "I�m sorry. I can�t imagine the pressure you�re under. You have my support, for whatever that�s worth." He smiled warmly, then scowled while the image of Jack calling her "Pookie" floated through his mind.

Sam�s heart rate was just about returning to normal when she spotted the colonel walking out onto the tarmac with another person, a woman in a baseball hat. They were laughing as they made their way to the plane, Jack carrying a small backpack.

Daniel spotted them also. "Sam, who�s that with Jack?"

Sam smiled. "Siobhan," she answered happily.

She had met Siobhan at Jack�s after the mission to P3X-796. They were all exhausted, and the presence of this irreverent, vivacious woman seemed to buoy all their spirits. To each one she brought gifts: to Jack it was a sense of calm; to Daniel, a sparring partner who couldn�t encroach on his feelings for Sha�re; for Sam, a touchstone, perhaps the only person who could help her understand the man whose image invaded her dreams.

The two walked slowly to the plane. Siobhan stumbled lightly as they reached the end of the wing. Jack gently steadied her. She looked a little embarrassed as she reached the open door.

"This is the package I had waiting for me," explained Jack as she tossed Siobhan�s backpack into the small airplane. "I thought, what the hell, life�s short. Might as well endure the humiliations while I can still hear." He helped his sister into the cabin.

Daniel assisted as well, waiting, just waiting for the first barb.

She looked up at him coyly. "Daniel," Siobhan called out in a lilting tone as she climbed into the cabin. "You look well."

Daniel looked suspiciously at her and then back at Sam. These were pleasantries they were exchanging. Something was definitely out of whack. "Thank you, Siobhan. And you look..." he was about to zing her, really take control of the situation from the get-go, but the truth was she didn�t look well. "...you look tired, if you don�t mind me saying so."

Siobhan closed her eyes and softly laughed. "I am tired. Nothing a few days up at the lake can�t cure. Hi sweetie!" she said as she wrapped her arms around Sam.

Daniel winced as he thought about the other O�Neill showering Sam with similar nicknames.

"Thanks for all the e-mails. It�s been fun chatting with you."

Jack looked to her, lifted his eyebrows in question.

Sam kept her eye on him as she answered back. "Well, you know, a little girl-chat now and again after so many hours with the guys is refreshing," she responded, trying to psychically send Jack a message that, no, they hadn�t been talking about him...much.

Jack carefully put his sunglasses on and took his place in back with Siobhan. "Ramming speed!" Jack ordered.

Siobhan frowned at him and leaned forward to gently, sympathetically rub Sam�s shoulder. "Has it been Delta House humor all the way here?" she asked in solidarity.

"For the most part, yes. There was that side-trip to �Caddyshack� we took over Iowa, but by and large it�s been "Animal House,�" Sam told her, trying to convey the horror of it all.

"Jack, don�t you think it�s time to leave that alone now?" Siobhan asked condescendingly.

"But it�s a frat party. I�m part of the frat. I have to go!" responded Jack. He looked inquisitively at his sister wondering if she�d take the bait, knowing she knew every line from the movie.

She looked almost pained, wanting, needing to say it, but understanding the betrayal Sam would feel if she furthered this nonsense. She let out an exasperated sigh. "I tell you what. I�ll write you a note. I�ll tell them you�re too well." She turned to Sam apologetically.

Daniel�s mouth dropped open. Here was a woman who knew dialogue from his favorite movie. Could there be anything more attractive? "I swear, Siobhan, I�d marry you right now if it weren�t for that whole celibacy thing," he told her.

"Yeah, that�s a real deal-breaker," she agreed.

"Gaaaaaa! Let�s just stop!" demanded Jack. It was enough that Daniel was flirting with a nun, but more importantly he was flirting with Jack�s sister!

Sam realized that the byproduct of this disconcerting exchange was her opportunity to change the subject, and she ran with it. Now she and Siobhan were the main conversationalists, Daniel allowed his mind to wander with thoughts of what else Siobhan might know, and Jack sat in the back contriving ways to inflict pain on Daniel.

*****

"Oh, my."

It was the only thing Siobhan was able to say. She put her small hand to her mouth as the memories of the old cabin flooded her consciousness. "I haven�t been here in..." She suddenly felt overwhelmed by the surroundings, by the sound of the breeze gently caressing the pine trees, the late afternoon sun creating long deep shadows on the copper-colored floor beneath.

Daniel, Sam and Jack were busy shuffling in duffels and supplies, gliding past her.

Jack had stepped from the door on his way back out of the cabin when he saw Siobhan standing a few feet from this, their family vacation house.

She was bathed in the deep golden light that sifted through the branches of the pines surrounding the cabin.

While he watched her, an image of a woman pushed its way through his collected memories of the place. The woman was standing in the same spot, one hand on her hip, the other at her brow. She looked put-upon and angry. It was the summer that Jack turned 15, no, 16, and his mother was tersely reminding him of his responsibility to watch over his baby sister. Jack, the distant voice admonished, do you understand me? You keep on eye on her, young man! The image was palpable, and with it came all the fragments of memory-- the anger at being saddled with Bonnie, the bitterness at not being allowed to stay behind in the city.

Slowly the memory dissipated, and what remained was the very real sight of his sister Siobhan, now the same age as his mother from that long-past summer. It had never occurred to Jack how much his sister looked like their mother. But here she was, the same subtle lines around her eyes and mouth, the tinges of gray at the temples. Even her hands evoked the memory of their mother.

A year ago when he last saw Siobhan, she looked the same as she had when she was a novitiate. God, she looks like Mom. When did Bonnie start getting old? he asked himself.

It�s a strange thing seeing the aging process in your younger siblings. Your own life creeps up on you gradually. You become accustomed to the changes as they come. The wrinkles and gray hairs sneak up on you, slowly, imperceptibly�God�s little gift of allowing you to get used to them. Cell by cell, we allow ourselves time to become acclimate to our bodies changes. We don�t have the same luxury when it comes to our family.

For Jack, who hadn�t seen Bonnie in a year, it was alarming to see that she had been aging as well.

She stood a few yards in front of him, reminding him of his own age, of his mother�s tired and angry eyes. That same fatigue was in Siobhan�s face, but none of the anger. For that he was thankful.

But the fatigue, the look of exhaustion that seemed to envelop her was startling.

"Bonnie, honey...?" he quietly said as he lightly placed a hand on her arm. She seemed lost, startled by her brother�s presence. "Everything okay?"

Siobhan blinked away the moistness in her eyes and smiled the best she could to allay his fears. "Wow, I haven�t been here since before Mom died," she told him looking around, taking in more of the familiar sights. Her hand trembled at her cheek.

Jack understood the anguish that sudden memory held. He allowed her some time to shake off the effects.

"I�m a little tired. I think I�ll just go in and rest before dinner." And just like that, she broke free of the moment and from her brother and retreated to a back bedroom.

Jack watched her with concern. She was his only living family member, and as he dwelt on the fact that time seemed to be speeding along, he realized that he needed to reconnect with Siobhan more than just the occasional visits when their schedules serendipitously allowed. He hoped she felt the same.

He took a deep breath and walked to the jeep to procure the last bag of groceries.

*****

Early summer nights on the hidden lake were like no other place on Earth. The stillness of the water, the purple hue that splashed across the sky, the soft chirping sound of the cicadas made for a natural sedative. Soon, the bats would be out, diving across the surface of the silky water, snatching mosquitoes and gnats in their ravenous mouths.

Jack and Sam sat out on the end of the dock each in their own Adirondack chair listlessly nursing bottles of beer. Jack reached his hand between the seats offering it to Sam. Just as she was about to place her hand into his, Daniel called out to them from the shore. Two hands drew away from each other.

"Hey, Jack. This place is great! Why haven�t you asked me to come up here before?"

They both smirked knowing that many invitations had gone by without the slightest interest.

Daniel sat on the edge of the dock, his back against a mooring pole. He looked suspiciously at the two.

Jack fidgeted as he glanced over at Sam.

She decided to play it cool.

Now or never, he thought. "Um, Daniel, one of the reasons I...well, there�s something I wanted, well, we wanted to discuss with you," began Jack.

Sam closed her eyes and bit her lip. She had forgotten to tell Jack that she and Daniel had discussed their relationship back in Chicago. She thought she�d better bring him up to speed.

"Jack, Daniel..."

"Daniel is a good friend, and anything you want to discuss, feel free," finished Daniel, well aware of the topic Jack was about to delve into. He gave Sam a dismissive look.

"Well, good, you�re right. You are a good friend," started Jack, trying his best not to seem so anxious. "And that�s why we wanted to talk to you about..."

"A new mission?" Daniel interjected, baiting his CO mercilessly.

Sam knew she should probably step in and stop this obvious set-up, but she also knew Jack had it coming to him.

"No," said Jack. "A development, of sorts."

"Are you up for a promotion, Jack?" Daniel questioned.

"No. Sam and..."

"Oh, Sam! You�re up for promotion!"

The nonsense was too much for Jack. He pressed his palm to his temples. "No! No! No! Would you just shut up and let me talk?!" he blurted out.

Sam took a sip from her beer in order to hide her amusement.

Daniel adopted the best look of innocence Sam had ever seen.

Jack relentlessly carried on. "I�m trying to tell you that Carter and I..."Daniel began to interrupt. Jack sat straight up and pointed murderously at him to remain quiet. "...Sam and I are seeing each other outside of work." There, it was out. He waited for Daniel to respond.

Finally, after what seemed like eons, Daniel wiped a hand across his brow. "Well, it�s about time. The sexual tension was killing Teal�c!" he announced.

Sam spit out her beer in an explosion of laughter.

Jack was speechless as Daniel stared him down waiting to see how the stoic Jack O�Neill would react. Jack dropped back into the recumbent seat and took a long drag on his beer, himself trying to put a kibosh on the redness creeping its way up his face.

"You suck," Jack said. He took another long drag on his bottle, plotting his revenge.

Daniel chuckled, proud of himself.

"Dinnertime, campers!"

The three looked back at Siobhan standing in the back door of the cabin. None of them knew Siobhan was awake, much less making dinner. They strode off the dock and into the cabin where they were met with dinner, northern style.

On the table were beers, ketchup and pasties. After a short conversation about the difference between pasties - a meat pie indigenous to northern parts, and pasties (which rhyme with tasty, as Jack pointed out)- a tasseled affect worn by all the best strippers, they sat down to eat. Jack was relieved to see the color had returned to Siobhan�s face.

For the next hour, they laughed and talked, joked and drank. The level of comfort and camaraderie was so high that when Jack got up from the table to grab another beer, he allowed himself to give into an urge to kiss the top of Sam�s head.

Sam, her breath completely paralyzed, locked eyes with Daniel who knew he was witness to a new level of their relationship, and he felt honored to have been a part of it.

He smiled at her, assuaging her fear that he might think the show of affection inappropriate.

Sam felt the air return to her lungs and she nodded as Siobhan smacked her lightly over and over on the shoulder giggling.

Jack returned to the table and surveyed the faces of the people sitting there. "What? Did I miss something?" he asked, a beer in each hand.

None of the three wanted to be the one to actually say the word. They weren�t sure if Jack had intended for them to see it. But as the ripples of nervous laughter started to work its way up in each of their throats, Daniel found the courage to breach the subject.

"It was just..." Daniel looked at Siobhan and Sam, neither of whom was going to jump in and assist him. "Well, you kissed Sam�s head, Jack." There was silence. Daniel regretted the admission instantly.

Jack walked around the side of the table, stood next to Daniel, bent down and kissed Daniel on the top of his head. "There. I didn�t realize you were the jealous type. Here�s your beer." And with that, Jack found his seat, opened his beer, winked at Sam, and wiped away any further discomfort there would over his showing Sam how much she meant to him.

*****

"Morning, Daniel," Siobhan said, walking toward him and the dock. "Going out on the lake?"

"Yeah, I�m thinking about it," Daniel said, throwing a couple oars into an old canoe. "There�s room for another. Want to join me?"

"Gees, I haven�t been in the canoe in years. I wouldn�t be much help," she told him, shivering slightly against the morning dampness.

"That�s okay. I�ll take you for a ride," he said, offering her his hand.

"Nice line. Do you use it often?" she asked, taking his hand.

Daniel�s eyes fluttered. "Uh�"

"Relax, Daniel," Siobhan said.

Daniel helped Siobhan into the canoe, completely flustered, as usual, by Siobhan�s humor.

When she was comfortably seated, Daniel pushed away from the deck and began to row out toward the middle of the lake.

"Listen," she said.

Daniel stopped paddling and listened. Loons across the lake warbled. Geese flew low across the surface, honking to each other in unison.

"Look over there," she said, pointing to a dead tree that had fallen into the water. Perched on its trunk was a bird with enormous yellow talons. "That�s an immature eagle. You know how you can tell it�s an immature eagle?"

"No."

"Two ways: the head is still brown. See? The feathers turn white when it�s a little older" she said. Daniel peered across the lake and nodded, amazed that he was so close to the great bird. "The other way you can tell it�s immature is by its call. Listen."

Daniel strained to hear the eagle�s call.

"I want a fish," Siobhan mimicked in a high, scratchy voice. "I want a fish noooooooow!"

Daniel closed his eyes and smiled. She had cast out her line, hooked him but good, and reeled him in.

"What a city boy," she laughed.

"I can�t decide who is meaner�you or Jack," Daniel told her.

"You should have met our mom," she said.

"You�re saying you two came by it naturally?"

"Oh, yeah. In a big way," she said, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

Daniel looked at her, watched how she took in the beauty of the lake. He saw so much of Jack in her it was eerie�the same eyes, the same high cheekbones. But unlike Jack, there was a peace, tranquility about her. Jack had an edginess to him that kept Daniel on guard. He knew it was part of Jack�s job, but still, he wondered if Jack ever just relaxed. He wondered if he could relax with Sam.

"So, Siobhan, what do you think about Jack and Sam?" he asked.

Siobhan squinted her eyes into the morning sun, sorting through the feelings she had for the two in question. "I think�I think my brother is ass over teakettle in love with her, but he�s too afraid to accept it. And I think she�s ass over teakettle in love with him, but she�s too tense to understand it."

Daniel thought it over and decided Siobhan had pretty much nailed it. He laughed. "It�s a minor miracle that they�re together at all, isn�t it?"

"Isn�t it always?" she asked, looking him in the eye, asking more than just one question of him.

And he understood. And he knew she could never understand what kind of miracle had happened in order for him to meet Sha�re. And he knew he�d never be able to explain it.

"Sometimes, more than just a minor miracle," Daniel told her, averting his eyes.

"Jack said she was beautiful," Siobhan said, weaving a strand of hair behind her ear.

"She was," Daniel said, folding his arms over the canoe paddle.

"Do you believe in life after death, Daniel?" he asked, shielding her eyes from the increasingly brighter sun.

"I�m not sure," Daniel told her. "My wife did. She was Egyptian. I believe she believes she�s with the gods."

"Sometimes belief is all we have."

"Yes, it is," he said, and placed the wooden paddle into the water. Belief had brought him to Abydos; belief had helped him decide to stay. His belief that he would find her sustained him. He could hardly believe, though, that it wasn�t enough to keep her alive.

Daniel pulled the oar through the water, creating eddies and swirling currents. He felt the slight stinging of tears in his eyes, so he squinted his eyes into the sun. "Sun�s bright, isn�t it?"

"Yes, it is," Siobhan said, and she smiled warmly at him.

Daniel lost himself in the gentle draw of the water, in the quiet solitude of the still lake, in the memory of his beautiful dark-haired wife.

*****

"Damn," was the first thing Daniel heard after the glass hit the floor. He walked into the kitchen to see if he could assist Siobhan. She was kneeling on the floor, but she wasn�t attempting to clean up the shards. Daniel knelt next to her.

"Nice mosaic work," he said to her.

She looked up at him and rolled her eyes. "I�m a little bit of klutz these days," she admitted and began to slowly pick up the pieces of the shattered glass. "Would you mind getting some paper towels?"

"Yeah, sure," Daniel told her and went over to the counter to retrieve the roll. When he reached for it, his eyes fell upon a vial of medicine. He casually pushed it aside and grabbed the paper towel. Together they cleaned up the mess. Daniel got the broom and handed the dustpan to Siobhan.

She reached up for it, put her hand around the handle, and let it slip carelessly to the floor.

"High gravity day, Siobhan?" Daniel tried to joke, but he sensed something else was going on here.

She looked frustrated as she pulled herself up off the floor with the assistance of the table.

"Uh, are you okay?" he asked sincerely hoping that she�d say something flippant, something to ward off the apprehension he was now experiencing.

She just looked at him like he was accusing her of something. "I�m just having a bad day," was all she offered for an explanation.

Daniel remembered the vial on the counter. He picked it up, read the name on the label and then the prescription. Rilutek? Rilutek? Why had he heard of that name before? "Siobhan, what is this you�re taking?" Perhaps it wasn�t his place to ask. But he was putting two and two together and coming up with 900. He held it up for her to see just as Jack and Sam entered the room. Daniel put the vial back on the counter and tried to silently convey to Siobhan his concern.

Jack looked at the two staring at each other in a deadlock. "What�s going on?" he asked, raising his eyebrows, determined to get some answers quickly.

Daniel shook his head. "Nothing, Jack. Siobhan and I were just talking," he told him, hoping Jack wouldn�t hear the trepidation in his voice.

Jack shifted his watchful eyes to Siobhan.

Siobhan�s eyes were cold, not willing to offer any information.

"Bonnie, you want to tell me what this is all about?" It was more of an order than a request.

"Daniel was just questioning me about some medication that I�m on," she said as nonchalantly as possible.

She could feel her hand begin to tremble. Damn, it always does that at the worst times! she thought. She clenched her fist repeatedly to stop the trembling.

"What kind of medication?" Jack asked her.

Siobhan took on a defensive posture. She immediately ascertained that she couldn�t stonewall them, so she threw her hands up in defeat. She felt cornered. She went with her natural inclination of subterfuge. "It�s not a big deal. I have a little problem with my hands, that�s all." She tried walking into the kitchen nonchalantly, hoping that her explanation would be taken for what it was worth. But her gait was halting, and she knew more questions were coming to the surface.

"What kind of problem?" Jack�s concern was growing into anger. He didn�t like to play games, especially when he knew the bottom line was not going to be pleasant.

"It�s just a stupid neurological problem," Siobhan answered trying to sound distracted by something more important than her lousy health.

Jack strode into the kitchen and spun her around to face him. "Dammit, Bonnie, why wasn�t I made aware of this?" he demanded.

She set her jaw firmly in place, ripped her arm free of Jack�s grip, and put some distance between herself and her overwrought brother. "I didn�t feel the need to tell you just yet," she told him coldly never taking her eyes off him, telling him with her demeanor to back off.

"What? You didn�t feel the need to tell me? I�m your brother, dammit, and I deserve to know when you�re sick!"

"Since when?" she retorted stepping closer to her brother. "Let me ask you something, Jack. When�s the last time you were in the infirmary? Huh? I�m sure you�ve been there a few times, am I right?" She turned to Sam and Daniel who were not going to get in the middle of this.

"That�s not the point, Siobhan, and you know it!"

"Yes, it is! The last time you were in the infirmary, did you consider picking up the phone to tell me you were sick?"

"Dammit, Siobhan, if I called you every time I had been injured out in the field, you�d start asking questions. Questions I can�t give you answers to," he bellowed.

"Oh, don�t give me that classified crap," she growled back.

"I can�t even have a civilian dentist give me Novocain without one member of the Joint Chiefs being there, so how am I supposed to call up my little sister to tell her I�m laying on a gurney with a line in each arm?!"

Siobhan glared at him, seething with anger.

He stared back, his black eyes dancing with fury and confusion.

"I guess that�s what this is really about then, isn�t it?" She gave him a chance to jump in, challenge her. When he didn�t, she continued. "You still see me as the little sister you have to take care of."

Jack let his shoulders slump forward. He shook his head denying the allegation, wondering how she had turned this conversation upside down.

"I don�t need an older brother, Jack. Never have." She stood in front of him defiantly waiting for him to take the next jab. When he didn�t, satisfied that she had ended this conversation, she marched out of the room, out the door and onto the dock, where she sat heavily on a bench.

Jack stood leaning against the counter, grinding a speck of dust into the floor with his toe.

Sam cautiously took a position behind him.

"What the hell just happened?" he asked as he shook his head in disbelief.

"You just got bulldozed by one of the best," she answered.

Jack lifted his head and grimaced. "No. What just happened was my sister told me she didn�t need me," Jack corrected Sam.

"No, she said she didn�t need an older brother. Two different things, Jack."

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Sam knew she had his attention, and some advice from one who knew a thing or two about sibling issues might be in order. "See, an older brother is one who has authority over you. One who you can rely on, but you can never do anything to help him. It�s not a relationship of equals."

Jack turned around, thrust his hands in his pockets and let out a dejected breath.

"It�s an important distinction, but in this case, I think it�s just a red herring."

"What are you talking about, Sam?" he asked frustrated.

She put her hands on his chest in order to calm his nerves. She knew the real reason for the blow up, and that was a much more difficult area. "She didn�t want to discuss her health, so she bulldozed you," she said as gently as she possibly could.

Jack closed his eyes, dropped his chin to his chest, and nervously bounced one leg up and down.

"You need to take the high-road here, Jack. Go talk to your sister."

He thought about what she said, took a deep breath and nodded a thank you. Slowly he made his way out to the dock.

It finally occurred to Daniel what the drug was. He felt as if a knife had just been thrust in his gut. He bent over wishing he didn�t know.

"Daniel? What is it?" Sam asked concerned by his reaction.

He stood up, put his hands on his hips and closed his eyes. "Rilutek." he said flatly. "It�s a drug used to slow down the progression of ALS."

Sam felt her blood turn cold. She turned her attention to the confrontation about to take place on the dock. "Oh, my God, Daniel," Sam choked on the words. "Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure," he said, wishing he weren�t.

They watched as Jack stopped momentarily next to Siobhan, and then took a few more steps to stand right at the edge of the dock.

Siobhan sat on the bench, her knees up to her chest, squinting at the reflection on the lake. In her hand she held the crucifix she had worn for twenty years.

How was he supposed to begin? He hoped she would be the first to speak, but if she were as stubborn as he was, which was even money, he would have to be the one to break the silence.

"Carter says I�m supposed to take the high-road here," he said quietly but with just a touch of resentment. He knew that wasn�t going to help any, so he exhaled nervously trying to rid himself of any residual anger. "What�s going on with you?"

"I have a bad habit of picking fights when I don�t want to discuss something," she finally said, pursing her lips to abate the tears that threatened to fall.

"You come by it naturally," admitted Jack.

"Ya think?" she quipped. "So, I�ve been out here praying, trying to remove the beam from my eye."

Normally these biblical lessons he had learned growing up at Holy Name Cathedral went in one ear and out the other, but this one was a family stand-by. How can you chastise another for the speck in their eye when you have a beam in your own?

"I didn�t mean it, you know." She was ashamed of herself for telling her only brother that she didn�t need him when the truth was she needed him now more than ever.

"I know. Carter explained it to me." He sat down next to her.

"We learned at the feet of masters to use anger as a cover-up," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm and regret.

Jack nodded. He turned to her. "Bonnie, honey, please, tell me what�s going on."

She knew he needed to know. Time was slipping away. Every minute that flew by was a missed opportunity to say the things that needed to be said. She summoned the courage to begin. "Six months ago I started noticing that my hands were shaky. I didn�t think much about it. But then one day I fell down on my way to Mass. Just fell. My knees buckled and down I went. I hit my head on the sidewalk and needed stitches. At the hospital I told the attending what had happened. You know, there�s a reason for everything, Jack. This doctor put me through all sorts of tests and gave me the name of a neurologist for follow-up. If it hadn�t been for him, I wouldn�t be receiving the care that I�m getting."

Jack didn�t want a lecture on divine intervention. He wanted to know what was wrong with his sister. "What kind of care? What�s wrong with you?" he demanded.

Siobhan searched his eyes for the strength he would need to hear the words. "Sporadic Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis," she said as clearly as she could. She waited for a reaction from Jack. "ALS."

Jack felt the air being sucked out of his lungs. He dropped his head and clenched his jaw over and over trying to remember how to breathe.

"Lou Gehrig�s Disease?" he asked praying she would correct him. When she didn�t he felt the color leave his face. This couldn�t be happening, he thought. Everyone he had ever loved was gone, evaporated into memories. And now Siobhan? He felt old wounds tearing open. "How..." he tried swallowing to control his panic. "How long have you known?" He scrubbed his pant legs with his hands.

She saw the fear in his eyes. "Four months," she whispered. She watched him carefully.

His breathing became labored. He continued to scrub his thighs losing a battle with the panic that threatened to overtake him. "How long...What�s the..." He pinched his eyes shut battling the urge to run screaming from the dock.

"Prognosis?" she asked, hoping she could make it easier on him.

He nodded, his chin on his chest.

"Probably a year, maybe 18 months."

He wrapped his arms around his head and bent over his knees.

She knelt in front of him and tried to gently pry his hands off his head. "Jack. Listen to me," she started.

"No!" he protested as he suddenly sat straight up. "I won�t accept this!"

"You don�t have a choice," she reminded him quietly.

He stood up and walked a few steps away. He paced, turning tight circles, trying to gather his thoughts.

"You can come back to the base with me. We have technology and treatments that can help you," he told her as he formulated a panicked, rough plan on how he would get Jacob involved.

"What kind of treatment?" she asked dubiously, knowing that she was currently getting the best medical care available.

"I can�t... It�s technology not available to the general public," he said hoping she wouldn�t push him further.

"It�s classified?"

"Yeah, but...God! Just come back with me..." he begged, grabbing her shoulders.

She felt him shaking. "Jack, if it�s so classified that you can�t even tell me what it is, do you really think the Air Force would allow me to be a part of it?" She didn�t want to deny him hope, but she needed him to think a little more logically. There were so many other issues to deal with. Military intelligence was not one of them.

He looked sadly at her and shook his head. He knew he couldn�t offer Siobhan the transference that Jacob Carter had undergone. Jacob had military credentials and security clearances. It was a unique situation, one absolutely not available to Siobhan.

"I have to be able to do something." His voice trembled, the pitch of it foreign to his own ear.

"You can promise me that we�ll use the next months productively. This is a gift, Jack."

"A gift?! How the hell can you say that?!" This line of logic was intolerable to Jack. He felt bile rising in his throat.

"Yes, a gift. Everybody has a timeline. We know there�s an end, we just don�t know when. So we put things off, don�t get around to telling people how much they mean to us. There�s always tomorrow. Well, my tomorrows are running out. And I want to use them joyfully, telling my friends and my family, you, how thankful I am that they have been in my life. I want to make sure you know how much I love you. It�s a gift to be able to say goodbye."

The words tore at Jack�s soul. "NO!" His voice erupted. He punched both fists through the air, assailing an unknown target. "I�ve said goodbye enough! I won�t say it to you, too!" He turned from her and thrust his hands into his pockets in a futile attempt to stop them from shaking.

Siobhan reached out her hand and lightly touched his elbow. She wanted to close the few feet between them, but she wanted to give Jack the space to let this fresh horror sink in. She watched as he shook his head back and forth, back and forth, trying to will the future to change. "Jack, this is going to happen. It�s already begun. I know you wish to hell you could stop it, but you can�t. Now you can do one of two things: you can refuse to believe it or you can accept it and help me..." she took a pained deep breath trying to regain her composure in order to finish her thought. "...help me leave this world peacefully." The words were torturous to say, worse to hear.

"No," was his simple reply.

"Jack, it�s out of your hands," she tried to make him understand.

"I don�t care."

"Sweetie, it�s going to be alright. I�m not afraid."

"Well I..." He could feel his knees buckling. Jack sat down heavily on the bench behind him. He wouldn�t do this. He wouldn�t give in to the terror, the panic. But the tremors that controlled his body were winning the war. "I can�t stand this, Bonnie," he whispered, his voice abandoning him. He was loath to explore the emotions that would imminently overcome him.

Siobhan stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I know. I know." She positioned her chin on his shoulder and looked out over the languid water with him. His hands trembled as he reached up to hold onto her arms. She felt his whole body shake. "Let it go, Jack. Let it go." She held him, placing a hand on his face, drawing him nearer.

"Don�t make me do this, Bonnie. I�m tired of being left behind. I don�t have the strength anymore. Please, Bonnie." The sorrow was too penetrating.

She viscerally understood the depths of his pain but could offer nothing to ease it. Here the delineation between older and younger sibling disappeared. They were equals, if only in their grief.

They stayed there together, holding each other, allowing tears to slowly, silently course down their faces while they looked out onto the horizon of a lake that held in its basin memories of their childhood. They cried for the years wasted, and the years that were being ripped from them. And they prayed deep in their souls for each other, for themselves, for the past, for the future. In silence. The only way they knew how.

*****

It had been two hours since Siobhan and Jack had gone out onto the dock. She returned to the cabin exhausted from the experience.

Jack stayed on the dock needing some time to think.

Siobhan dropped herself on the couch and rubbed her eyes with shaking hands.

"Siobhan, can I get you some coffee?" Sam asked cautiously.

Siobhan opened her eyes slowly, focused and found Sam standing meekly inside the kitchen. "Yeah, that would be great." She looked around the room and found Daniel curled up in her grandfather�s chair with a book splayed out on his lap and his head tossed back.

"He can just about fall asleep anywhere," Sam told Siobhan.

Daniel�s head snapped up suddenly, groggily. "I�m awake!" he stated stretching his arms above his head. He looked at the fatigue that spilled over Siobhan. "How you doing?" he asked.

Siobhan squinched her face up and smiled lazily. "I�m pretty tired."

Sam returned with a cup and handed it to Siobhan. She waited a few moments for Siobhan to take some of the bitter liquid in. "Siobhan..." Sam started.

Siobhan held her hand up and invited Sam to sit next to her on the couch. "Why don�t we talk?" she offered. And for the next hour she told them everything she had told Jack. They talked about the disease, the prognosis, and the months ahead. They talked about her faith, and the comfort and acceptance it brought her. They talked until the exhaustion that wracked her body won out.

She lay on the couch.

Sam covered her carefully with an afghan, and then she turned her attention to the figure transfixed on the dock. She wanted to see how he was doing. She wanted to comfort him. She knew to stay away.

Later that night, after the dinner dishes were done, after Siobhan had attempted to teach Sam and Daniel how to play euchre, after Daniel had hunkered down with a book and Siobhan excused herself for the night, Sam went to the door and scanned the area. Somewhere during the early evening Jack had slipped off the dock and disappeared into the surrounding pines.

He was still nowhere to be found. Sam decided to retire. She bid Daniel goodnight and then slipped into her tiny room. She sat on the bed, turned on the small lamp and began to get undressed. There was a light rap on her door. She opened it and peaked outside.

It was Jack. His face was haggard.

"Hey, what�s going on?" he asked casually. He stood leaning against the doorjamb, his hands in his pockets.

"Um, not much. Just getting ready to go to bed," she told him.

"Okay. I�ll see you in the morning," he said as he began to turn away.

Sam grabbed him by the shirtsleeve.

"Jack?" She knew this was a rare opportunity. He was seeking her comfort in the only way he could. "Do you want to talk?"

"No," he replied.

Sam was confused. Obviously he wanted something, needed something. She opened the door farther and stepped aside to give him room should he decide to enter.

He dropped his head and lumbered in. He sat on the edge of her bed, his hands still in his pocket, his eyes focused on his feet.

Sam closed the door behind her.

"My sister�s dying." He said it plainly.

Sam took a seat next to him. "What can I do for you, Jack?" She asked hoping he would give her a better idea of his emotional temperature.

"I don�t know. I�m not sure why I�m here." His voice sounded distant, confused.

"Okay."

"I might need..." he tossed his head from side to side. "This �reaching out� thing sucks." The crude honesty of the comment brought a slight smile to Sam�s lips. Jack took a hand out of his pocket and covered his eyes.

Sam didn�t know what possessed her to wrap her arms tightly, protectively around him at that moment, but she did it anyway.

And he let her.

He entwined his fingers in one of her hands. He lay his head against her chest and concentrated on his breathing. Coming to her like this gnawed at his notions of stoicism. But he felt as if he were crumbling, and he hoped Sam would forgive him this weakness. "Hell of a day, huh?"

"Yup," Sam uttered through her own tattered breathing.

Jack turned his face into her shoulder to muffle the sound of his heart breaking.

*****

"You�ve got everything, right?" Jack asked when they reached the hangar.

Siobhan nodded reassuringly. Their weekend was over and a return to the day-to-day world called.

Jack could feel his heart racing. He tried arduously to present a calm front. For the most part it was working. He wasn�t sure he�d be able to sustain it when the time came to say goodbye.

Siobhan wasn�t sure she would be able to either. So she turned to Daniel first. "Daniel," Siobhan cooed as she gave him a coy little look.

He rocked back on his heals. "Now, why do you do that? It�s just so wrong for a nun to flirt," he admonished her.

"Do you want me to stop?" she asked innocently.

"Well, uh, no," he laughed and took her into his arms. "Be well, Siobhan. I�ll keep a good thought for you."

"Do that. I�d appreciate it," she warmly told him. "Next time you will learn how to play euchre!"

Daniel stepped back in frustration over not being able to learn the card game that so enthralled Jack and Siobhan. "I don�t get it! How can you understand the rules to that game, but when Sam and I try to explain simple scientific principles to you , you look like you�re having an aneurisms?" he asked pointedly of Jack.

"You never explained anything to me with a few beers under our belts," Jack explained wryly.

"Ah," Daniel uttered.

Siobhan turned to Sam.

Sam tried to smile, but she felt the knot in her throat pulling such an expression far from her face.

Siobhan tenderly embraced her. "Crying is good. I do a lot of it myself," she said.

Sam nodded. She wanted to express to Siobhan how much her honesty and candor meant to her. She wanted to tell her how sorry she was. She wanted to let Siobhan know that she wouldn�t let Jack disappear into that dark place in his soul.

"Take care, Sam."

Sam kissed her cheek and found the strength to smile.

Siobhan turned to her brother and coiled her arms around his neck. "Wow, I had this all planned out. I was going to say something really deep, you know?" she said as she giggled nervously. She could feel her eyes welling up. "I don�t know what to say," she admitted as her voice cracked.

Jack held her tightly. He didn�t want to let go. He knew the next time he saw her things would have progressed. He forced the images of out of his mind of Siobhan unable to use her hands, unable to rise from a chair, unable to walk, unable to breathe. He wished he could hold her like this until he were too old to hold onto his own life. Then he wouldn�t have to see Siobhan waste away. Jack buried his face in her neck.

"Jack, don�t do this alone. You have people who love and care for you."

He didn�t want her to be concerned about him. He could take care of himself just fine. Didn�t he always? "Will you make it back to the mother-house okay?"

"I mean it, Jack."

His attempt to deflect the attention on him wasn�t working. He tried to come up with something sarcastic to say to show her how well he was doing. But the truth was he wasn�t doing well at all, and nothing he could say would disprove that. "Okay," he promised. "I�ll try." He kissed her cheek and gently released his embrace. He held her hands in order to allow her the time to steady herself. Then he picked up her backpack and gently slid it on her shoulder. "Take care of yourself. Do what the doctors tell you to do. Wait a half an hour before going in the pool. Wear clean underwear... "

"Okay. Okay. You can stop now," she cajoled him. She gazed lovingly into his eyes, eyes just as deep and dark as her own. A warm smile found its way to her face. "I love you, Jack."

Jack swallowed hard. He wouldn�t let this opportunity go to waste. He had so few left.

"I love you, too."

And then she reached up, touched his face, and turned to leave.

He watched her walk out of the hangar to her awaiting cab.

A warm hand gently poured into his. He was grateful for it, for Sam. He would try to fulfill his promise to Siobhan to not go it alone. He hated that he had gone to Sam the night before, but he appreciated her understanding and discretion, nonetheless. The tenderness she had shown him was above and beyond the safety of their plan. He hoped they hadn�t gone too far. He was afraid that allowing himself to be comforted by Sam would change the dynamic of their work. It was a chance he needed to take. There would have to be long talks about this latest level of intimacy before they returned to the mountain. And to the SGC, they must return.

"Let�s go home," Jack finally said to Daniel and Sam.

They turned to make their way back to the plane. Daniel patted Jack on the back. So much had happened in the few days since they had arrived.

What was so unique about gating to different planets, finding danger and adventure off-world when the world they lived in was so full of unforeseen landmines? Each time he looked into the event horizon he braced himself for what he�d encounter, confident that he and his team would return, if not unscathed, than at least together.

Now, as he looked into the event horizon of his sister�s future, he was all together unsure if he�d make it home at all.