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» Joke of the Day «

:::::: Question Hour ::::::

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.

"Bob".

"And what is your question, Bob?"

"I have 3 questions"

1. Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

2. Why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

3. What happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that’s right --- question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is. "Steve" "And what is your question, Steve?"

"I have 5 questions."

1. Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

2. Why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

3. What happened to Osama Bin Laden?

4. Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?

5. Where is Bob?

:::::: Doctor Vs Mechanic ::::::

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, Doctor can I ask you a question?

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, 'So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix them, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the real big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?'

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...

'Try doing it with the engine running'

:::::: Strange Funeral ::::::

One fine morning a man was leaving a cafe after his morning coffee, when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession

A funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first.

Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog.

Behind him was a queue of about 2000 men walking in a single line.

The man couldn't stand his curiosity.

He approached the man walking with the dog,

"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single

line. Whose funeral is it? "

The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife. "

What happened to her? "

The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her. "

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin? "

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also. "

A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.

Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog?”

The man calmly replied "Join the queue."

:::::: Driving Styles ::::::

One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window - Sydney

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn - Japan

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator... - Boston

Both hands on steering wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror- New York

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat - Italy

One hand on horn,

one hand on holding gear,

one ear listening to loud music,

one ear on cell phone,

one foot on accelerator,

one foot on clutch,

nothing on brake,

eyes on females in next car - Welcome to INDIA.

:::::: The Greatest ::::::

A Cow, Ant & a Donkey are debating on who is the greatest among the three. So here it goes..................

Cow : I give 50 liters of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest.

Ant : I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own

weight and that's why I am the Greatest.

……..

Hello- Why are you scrolling down???

It's your turn now--- please speak up.........!!!

:::::: Indian Cricket Team– Don’t Blame them ::::::

1. Sehwag - U cant blame him. He played his natural game (and got out,

Naturally)

2. Tendulkar - U can’t blame him. He scored a 50 (like a tortoise)

3. Laxman - U can’t blame him. This was his first match after a long

gap. (Just wait for another 10 matches)

4. Mongia - U can’t blame him. He played well. (Just that he thought

the test series had already started)

5) D. Karthik - U can’t blame him. He won us the 20-20 match (He is not

used to the 50-50 format)

6) Dhoni - U can’t blame him. He tried for a big shot and got caught at

the boundary (well .. ok .. 20 metres from the boundary line)

7) Pathan - U can’t blame him. He's an allrounder. (Like Alok Kapali -

The Bangladesh Allrounder)

8) Harbhajan - U can’t blame him. He's the best spinner we have (He's

the only one, so he has to be the best)

9) Kumble - U can’t blame him. He's a fighter (and a loser)

10) Zaheer - U can’t blame him. He is the fastest bowler (The ball

disappears fast as well)

11) Sreesanth - U can’t blame him. At least he has the guts to look into the

batsman's eyes (after being smashed all over the park)

Chappel - U can’t blame him. He's building the team for the World Cup (He may be missing at that time though)

Kaif & Raina - U can’t blame them. They didn't play (Thhank God)

:::::: Smart Detective::::::

A policeman was interrogating 3 sardars who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first SARDAR a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first SARDAR answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because He only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second sardar and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second sardar smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the Best answer you can come up with?

"Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third sardar and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The sardar looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while

check his file and I'll get

back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the sardar replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

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