Phase #1: Above-the-Board Contract Negiotiations.
The way I see it, the benefits to working for me are so great that I may be able to convince my future employees to come and work for me without having to resort to anything cloak-and-dagger.
For one thing, I can offer employment for as long as they stay fit and fine and willing to comply with my wishes. If they stay wrestlers, how much longer do they really have? Ten more years, tops, right?
Additionally, they will actually save money by working for me, since they won't have to pay rent or buy food any more. I will provide all for them. Of course, if they want to eat meat, they'll have to pay for it out-of-pocket, but they can have all the beans they want for FREE!
They won't have to tan any more, either, since I'm not that wild about the whole "tanning bed" look. That means that they will be at a decreased risk of skin cancer!
They'll be able to hang out with two of the great intellectual minds of our time, myself and Little Kimmie. Isn't that a lot better than hobnobbing with sweaty ol' wrestlers and other assorted members of the stinky masses? I thought so.
As you can see, the benefits are multifarious. If all goes well, I won't have to resort to the "chocolate orange, attractively gift-packaged" phase of my plan.
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