| Untitled by: Greywolf Disclaimer - I don't own them and I'm sure that this wasn't the inspiration for this song but..........who knows *L* ** 'He had always been the sort of guy that felt things deeply, sometimes too deeply. His writing reflected that, baring his soul for all to see, his feelings for the world to speculate on. He felt invaded at times, never sure if what he felt was real or a creation of the music. I watched him as he moved to the music, the touches, the smiles, they all said the things he wouldn�t say aloud. To the outsider it was just part of the show, a display for the crowd, a clever act. The music, haunting him, the feelings of loneliness in a crowd, the wanting, the physical ache of it all. The object of his desire seemed oblivious to his anguish, even seemed unaware of the physical signs. Or at least that was how it seemed, but then I was an outsider.............................' The music was pounding, the beat heavy and driving and somehow darker than the other songs. There was an element of danger in this song, lust more than love. This was their third try at getting the lyrics and music to mesh, it was 3.30 in the morning and the studio was deserted. �I think we need a break� suggested Darren and Daniel nodded �It�s just not there� he agreed. Darren walked to the window and gazed unseeingly out of it. He thought about the lyrics and the feelings he was trying to show and he shook his head. He couldn�t have those feelings, not him, not for another man. He was a ladies man, everyone knew that, the girls swooned over him at concerts, he�d been married for God�s sake.....................no, not him. He was so deep in his thoughts he didn�t notice the door closing silently behind his partner. Daniel had watched Darren and he knew there was something going on, you didn�t work with someone this intensely and not become attuned to their moods. He wanted to ask him what was bothering him but, deep down, he didn�t want to know. Knowing Darren it was girl trouble and Daniel really did not want to hear about that! He walked slowly out to his car, thinking about the song they were recording. Where had those words come from, they were powerful words and the picture they drew was so much the way he was feeling that he wondered just how well Darren could read his music. So that night, as Darren sat in the studio and wondered how to tell his partner, Daniel sat at his window, watching the night fade and wondering if he could go on with this relationship the way it was. �Would it be easier just to stop now� he thought, sad at the thought of losing what they had musically. He briefly entertained the thought that Darren felt the same way and they could become partners in all senses of the word but he laughed at that as an insane idea. Darren was the showman, the idol of the crowds, the magnet for all the attention and he loved every minute of it. Why would he throw that away for him? Darren threw himself into work and by the end of the week they had finished the rest of the album, but they kept coming back to that one song. �Damn!� exclaimed Darren finally �What the hell were you trying to do with this music?� �Me?� Daniel asked defensively �What about your fucking lyrics - what�s the meaning behind this?� They stood and glared at each other, finally Daniel sighed and sank down onto a speaker. �I don�t know� he said softly, fiddling with his guitar string �Maybe we should just call it quits�. Darren looked at his partners bent head and felt ashamed, he was taking his frustrations out on Daniel when he knew that they were nothing to do with the music. He placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder �I�m sorry, I don�t know what�s been wrong with me lately� he said and Daniel looked up at him. Green eyes met grey and their gazes locked. �I think I do� said Daniel. Darren stepped back violently and turned away �I don�t know what you mean� he said, his voice slightly shaky. �I think you do� said Daniel �Be honest with yourself� And once again he left Darren standing alone in the studio. He was shaking as he left, was he really as sure as he had sounded or was it simply wishful thinking. Well, it was in Darrens hands now. He walked for a long time that night, avoiding the inevitable for as long as possible, oblivious to his surroundings he found himself standing outside an Internet cafe. He went in and ordered a coffee before sitting down in front of one of the machines. The waitress gave him a speculative look, setting his coffee down and making a point of putting the bill in an obvious spot. Daniel smiled wryly, knowing that she wondered about his ability to pay. He had to admit he was not looking his best. He turned on the machine and idly pressed a few buttons. He found himself typing in Darrens name and angrily slammed the keyboard. The waitress gave him a warning look and he buried his head in his hands, He just couldn�t go on like this. Raising his head he stared blankly at the screen. Darren was doing his own soul-searching, he thought he knew now how Daniel felt about him and he was well aware that he could make or break this relationship. He just didn�t know if he was willing to face his public, to wear the brand of �gay�, or if his feelings were more important to him than all that. He was silent as he drove home, deep in thought. As he went into his house he saw his computer there and that gave him an idea. Could he get an idea from his fans - anonymously of course - about what their reactions would be if he and Daniel became lovers. He turned the machine on and made himself a drink, kicking off his shoes before sitting down in front of the blinking cursor. �Where to go� he wondered. Before he could make a decision his computer beeped at him, signalling messages in his Inbox. Welcoming the distraction he clicked to open them and scrolled down the screen....................................... Daniel finished typing his message and pressed �Send� before he could change his mind. There was no going back now, this was it. He deleted the message and stood up, leaving the payment and a generous tip on the table. He had been sitting there for almost an hour, trying to get the right words. Darren was the words man of the group, Daniels music had always spoken for him. He headed for home and another sleepless night, fearful and excited about what the next day might bring. �.........................................................I need you so much it hurts me, it�s like a madness and I just have to have you, to take you. Daniel� Darren sat back, reeling from the emotion in the letter he had just read. He had no idea Daniel felt so intensely about him and the thought of this made him ashamed of his doubts. Daniel had as much to lose as Darren but that didn�t matter anymore, all that mattered was what they had to gain. He checked the address, an Internet cafe, Damn, where could Daniel be now? Home? Walking? The studio? Darren was so pumped up he knew he had to find Daniel before the doubts crept in again. He didn�t want to ring - he HAD to see him in person. Picking up his car keys he pulled on his shoes and almost ran out the door. Daniel had finally dropped off to sleep, his thoughts twisting and turning in his head, the pounding seemed to be a part of his dreams until he opened his eyes. He shook his head to clear it and climbed slowly out of bed. �Hang on� he grumbled, pulling a pair of shorts on. He was pulling a t-shirt over his head as he opened the door �OK OK� he said, grinning. The grin faded as he saw who was standing there and he raised his eyebrows. �So what brings you over at this ungodly hour� he managed to say. �Don�t give me that, you know damn well what brings me here� Darren stepped through the door and, pushing Daniel up against the wall, kissed him. Daniel was taken aback but only for a second and then he responded passionately, his heart pounding. This was beyond his wildest dreams. Darren pulled away and slammed the door �Did you mean what you wrote?� he demanded and Daniel pulled him close again �Every word of it lover� he murmured �I want you right now, I want you to take me, any way you want� Each knew what the other wanted and the urgency in their bodies took them over. Their hands explored, their tongues entwined and their breath mingled. �You are so beautiful� Darren said, running his tongue down the length of Daniel�s chest, slowly teasing his nipples. �How could I have ever doubted I wanted you?� He slid his hands under Daniels shorts, cupping his buttocks and then knelt in front of him and slid the shorts down. Daniel was hard already and Darren lightly touched him, feeling him tense. He grew more confident with his touches and when he took Daniel into his mouth he had the beginnings of a smile on his face. Daniel was slumped against the wall, his legs weak and his hands running through Darrens hair. He was close tocoming but wanted to be inside Darren when he did. It was one of the most difficult things he had done, but he pulled Darrens head up gently and kissed him, �I want to be inside of you� he said, pulling at Darren�s clothes �I want to make you come� Darrens hands assisted Daniel and when he was naked Daniel pushed him gently back. �Let me look at you� he said �I have dreamt about this moment for so long� Darren looked down self consciously but Daniel reached out and tilted his chin up �You are perfect� he said and embraced Darren. The feel of skin on skin was too much for Daniel to bear and his embrace became more urgent. He reached down and touched Darren, feeling his readiness, letting his other hand explore his buttocks. Darren arched his back, inviting him to explore further and Daniel slipped his finger inside. �Oh yeah� moaned Darren �I want you to fuck me, fuck me now�. Daniel was ready too and as he finally pushed himself into Darren he almost lost control immediately. Taking a deep breath he began to thrust, slowly at first and then, as Darrens breath grew more ragged, faster and faster. �Now� Darren panted and with one final thrust Daniel came, shuddering. He reached around for Darren and with a few deft touches brought him to climax too. He withdrew slowly and reached for his t-shirt, wiping Darren gently with it. The rest of the night passed in a blur of love-making, when the sun came up it shone through the blinds, lighting their satiated forms stretched across the bed. Daniel lightly touched Darrens sleeping form �I hoped and dreamed but I never really believed� he said and laughed gently before stretching out next to him and closing his eyes. At the final recording session for the album they finally completed THE song �That was great!� exclaimed the record exec. �How did you get the passion into it?� Darren and Daniel looked at each other and smiled knowingly. �So you�re the kind that deals with the games in the mind Well you confuse me in a way that I�ve never known You confuse me in a way that I�ve never known So break me shake me hate me take me over When the madness stops then you will be alone...� break me shake me |