| Dumb Packaging Labels In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. 1) On a Sears hairdryer: �Do not use while sleeping.� (Gee, that�s the only time I have to work on my hair.) 2) On a bg of Fritos: �You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.� (Evidently, the shoplifter special.) 3) On a bar of Dial Soap: �Use like regular soap.� (And that would be how�?) 4) In some Swanson frozen dinners: �Servong suggestions: Defrost.� (But it�s *just* a suggestion.) 5) On Tesco�s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): �Do not turn upside down.� (DOH!! Too late!) 6) On Marks and Spencers Bread Pudding: �Product will be hot after heating.� (As night follows day�) 7) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: �Do not iron clothes on body.� (But wouldn�t this save even more time?) 8) On Boot�s Children�s Cough Medicine: �Do not drive or operate machinery after taking this medication.� (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) 9) On Nytol Sleep Aid: �Warning: May cause drowsiness.� (One would hope.) 10) On most brands of Christmas lights: �For indoor or Outdoor use only.� (As opposed to what?) 11) On a Japanese Food Processor: �Not to be used for the other use.� (I have to admit, I�m curious.) 12) On Sainsbury�s peanuts: �Warning: Contains nuts.� (NEWS FLASH) 13) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: �Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.� (Step 3: Fly Delta) 14) On a child�s Superman costume: �wearing this garment does not enable you to fly.� (I don�t blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.) 15) On a Swedish chainsaw: �Do not stop chain with your hands or genitals.� (Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? Good grief.) 16) On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid: �Do not use on food.� (Hey Mom, we�re out of syrup! It�s okay, honey, just grad the Palmolive!) 17) On a tube of Crest Toothpaste: �If swallowed, contact poison control.� (Oh please. Have you ever heard of someone dying from swallowing a little toothpaste?) 18) On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent: �Remove clothing before distributing on washing machine� (Hey, no more swimming on the washing machine, kids.) |
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