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January 21, 2006
I've Got a Long Way to Go

Some of the biggest things that have happened and shaped me, I can't remember without the aide of my diary. I don't remember ever having the time to come home from school and take a nap, but apparently I slept myself into sickness in the tenth grade. I don't remember spending hours in the chat rooms, but they existed. I don't remember ever saying anything other than "I'm doing very well" to Maxine, but I must have said something real to earn prescription drugs. In fact, I don't even really remember taking the pills and feeling profoundly changed because I haven't taken them in about six months, but I've changed dosages several times so I must've.

I move past big events so quickly that sometimes I think I made them up. Knowing myself to be a hypochondriac and not having an episode for over four years, I began to believe that I had never really hurt my legs in basketball. I even wrote an essay at Emerson about making up all my injuries. But the other day, shin splints returned to my left leg and I had to believe it again--if that's what I was feeling all that time, I don't blame myself for quitting. I even feel bad for my poor ninth grade self.

But I can remember what a little dink I was and then I don't sympathize so much anymore.

January 1, 2006
I'm So Responsible I Can't Even Take It

I almost posted my resolutions, but I don't like anyone enough to allow them to be part of my future.

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