January 26, 2005
Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Katie Kerr
10. She speaks Spanish like she's lived in Argentina for the last ten years.

9. Quit wishing for ponies, because this kid actually has one.

8. I based a character around her and her awesome artistic skills. When she read my story, she said, "Am I anyone?" I said, "Someone is loosely based around you." She said she was glad, because she had hoped she was Lori. And she was. And thus Katie Kerr is kwite the karacter.

7. AND HER NAME WILL BE CONSTANZA BECAUSE THE TIME IS NIGH.

6. Her dad is my dentist and when he cleans my teeth he asks (everytime, mind you) if I'm in Kate's classes, and then he sings country music, and all the while he's wearing eye goggles that magnify his vision. This heightens my appreciation for Katie Kerr.

5. We were once lying on the floor in Kage's house, and she said, "Molly, this is like the whole world is our bed." God only knows why I find this to be the truth. Probably because she said it.

4. She taught me how to rasterbate.

3. Some will argue with me that indie and emo are the same thing. I say indie is leagues above emo because it is never trite. And thus I say Katie is indie because Katie is never, ever trite, but rather always, lways fresh.

2. katie kerrr: i think that konstantine is 10 minutes of my life that i will never ask to have back.

1. I don't tend to do things just because someone else does it (in fact, I daresay I am a trendsetter), but if Katie Kerr thinks something is cool, I will immediately think it is also cool, and then I gradually adopt it into my lifestyle so as not to seem that I am jumping on the band wagon, but rather to seem as though I have always been there and that I am naturally cool. I'm not. She is.

January 26, 2005
Vacation
Dear Snow,

When I woke up this morning to find my driveway covered in another few inches of snow after we paid $100 to have it plowed on Monday, I must admit that I was furious. However, I would like to thank you for making at least one of us happy.

Yours,
Molly S. Griffin

January 25, 2005
I Hate Loss So Much
I don't know what it says about me, that all I think about these days is how if this is friendship then get me out of here and that my cat is dead. In fact, I've never known someone to mourn the mysterious disappearance of a cat as much as I have. This is the story of how I got my cat:

It is the summer after first grade. We are in Taunton at some kind of party. We swim briefly in their above-ground pool. There is an older boy around Pat's age and a younger girl around my age. At some point, we are inside their garage playing ping-pong, and talking about all the animals we would love to own.

"Oh, like, horses and cows and dogs and chicks, like baby chicks, and cats--"

"Whoa, hang on," the boy says, not stopping his game. "You like cats?"

"Yes, I love cats."

Next thing I know, this kid is running across the street to his house. I stand in the front yard where the adults are playing horseshoes and watch as he returns with an orange kitten.

"You want this cat?"

I jump for joy and run to my mom and say, Please can I have him? Listen, this kid is just giving him to me, can I have him? I hold the cat and he is love and I carry him to my dad and he says, So what is this, we're getting a cat? and I say, Yes.

The girl my age, before we leave, she says, "His name is Kibbles, okay?" And her mother scolds her and says, "She can name him whatever she wants!" I choose to keep it because I have a good sense of humor. We bring him to Grandpa Griffin's and on the way he scratches me up real good and he really is love.

Joaqu�n, Excalibur, Cobbler, Prof. R.J. Lupin. If I were to get a new cat, I would name it one of these names, except no cat could really replace the boy cat because he was love.

I love taking care of living creatures that love. My other two cats, they do not love the way Kibby loved, and that is why I am dying to get a new cat. I don't particularly want to because that would be giving up and sometimes I still wonder where he sleeps at night if not under my arm.

THIS IS THE ONLY LOVE I KNOW. THE ONLY LOVE I KNOW IS A CAT.

WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT ME.

January 24, 2005
It Is Okay Because I Don't Really Mean It

January 23, 2005
All I'm Losing Is Me
Just keep leaning, it's not like I feel you there anyway.

January 23, 2005
I Saw Diagon Alley but Didn't Go Inside
Yesterday around noon-thirty, I couldn't feel the fronts of my legs. It's because me and my mom were somewhere on Tremont trying to find somewhere, anywhere to eat. We passed up the Corner Food Court even though I could kill for some Sbarro's pizza and went in and out of short, narrow streets, aptly named things like Winter Street and, lyingly, Summer Street. While we wandered I quoted Frankie, the little boy in the little snow suit at the Quincy Adams station, saying, "My feet are real ice cubes here!" Mom was too busy taking me down some spooky alleyway to catch the allusion.

I didn't like looking at the places around me because I was cold and I just wanted to eat and see some lions prance around the stage and be warm. I was wearing my new pea coat, my Gryffindor scarf that I knit myself, and a pair of 180s earmuffs which are capable of turning into headphones if they are attached correctly. I was also wearing magic gloves. On one of the rare moments that I did look up from my feet, I saw a dingy, dirty shop, with one dusty, dirty bay window and a sign that said Brattle Book Shop. I knew what it really was. It was Flourish & Blott's, it was, except I am, of course, Muggle, and can't go inside. There was a terrifying alley section next to it full of witches and wizards searching for spell books on the dozens of racks. I felt so unworthy to be standing there outside Flourish and Blott's in my Gryffindor scarf, pretending like I was a magician, when I was nothing but a Muggle. A big, stupid Muggle.

I don't even have a real wand, not anymore, not since my dead cat went and broke it in two. Look where that's got him--buried under two feet of snow.

The Lion King was for my dead cat.

Never have I missed someone as much as I miss my cat.

Mufasa=Kibby=dead=shoulders.

I cried during the Circle of Life because one, it's probably my favorite song of all time, and two, because I guess a lion's gotta do what a lion's gotta do.

Unfortunately, mine had to get slaughtered or something.

If I was magic, things would be different.

January 20, 2005
The Narration that Just Occurred in My Hands
katie kerrr: we love words.
katie kerrr: similar words.
Molly Awesome: today we were saying the word "bonanza" all the time.
katie kerrr: because it makes life exciting?
Molly Awesome: no, because you can say it in so many accents.
Molly Awesome: (wherein so many is equal to x-squared and harry potter)
Molly Awesome: ..............
katie kerrr: ............
Molly Awesome: that was absolutely not what i was going to say
katie kerrr: i was so. confused.
Molly Awesome: absolutely not.
Molly Awesome: i meant to say "and by so many i mean spanish"
Molly Awesome: and then. wtf.
katie kerrr: hahahahaha
katie kerrr: man i was like, is that some sort of algebra joke i don't get
katie kerrr: dude i was looking for you online yesterday and you weren't there because i said THIS in my head it was ridic:
katie kerrr: "And her name will be Constanza because the time is nigh."

January 20, 2005
You're Diseased
Dear Television,

Your decision to air the Presidential Inauguration at three PM on channel 23, NBC, on this, a Thursday afternoon, is appalling. Let me tell you about my week.

I have slept in an extra forty minutes every day. Some say this is good for me, these minutes are key. This is coming from the people who shower before they go to bed. I don't--I'd rather stand in my shower for about ten minutes to wake me up. Since I haven't been able to get up on time, I come to school groggy and dirty and ridiculously hungry. (Tuesday, my mom forgot to leave my lunch out for me, so I thought I wasn't getting two meals. Don't worry, she brought it in for me fourth period.) I hate my English teacher a lot. She's an absolute abhorrence and consequently makes me feel like incessantly vomiting all over her classroom, especially when she tries to throw in vocab words like we really give a fuck how many words she knows. And, will you believe it, she interrupted me today. There I am, sitting in my circle, ready to Socratically discuss prevalent racism in Richard Wright's Black Boy when all the suttin she starts TALKING OVER ME. Like I'm not there, like I'm not going along with her unproductive discussions in which no one but me and about three other people participate. I've had it up to here with her. Because I hate her class, I haven't done her homework in a while. But then, I haven't done any homework in a while. This is because I have had little time to do anything, what with having to drive every afternoon for hours, or staying after for the school newspaper only to be reassured that yes, none of us know what we're doing and the bi-weekly paper they were aiming for will never happen if we can't even put out a mon-five-monthly. I've had to tell people numerous times that I do not care about politics unless they are relayed to me by Jon Stewart. I punched a small dent in my closet door and the poster of Tom DeLonge next to my bed. I've come to the realization that every day, we do nothing--no, nothing--in school and then they waste my time by assigning more work than I've ever seen. I have a test every day. I am tired of being tested. My scalp has ached for the past few days because pulled chunks of hair out the other day and scratched as hard as I could and nearly broke my glasses. I did break my alarm clock. I'm tired. I'm tired.

I'd like to be able to come home and sit down, ignore my backpack for hours. I'd like to sit down with my chocolate milk and Chips Ahoy! cookies and knit. I'd like to sit down and knit and turn on the TV at three PM on channel 23, NBC. I'd like to sit down and watch the program that should be on at three PM on channel 23, NBC.

The Ellen Degeneres Show.

As Lou would say, this is the "height of gall." You know what gall is, don't you? No doubt Ms McCormack doesn't. This is really unbefuckinglievable. I require Ellen and Oprah to operate. I haven't been able to watch for days and now you're taking her away from me for an hour? Incredible. You're damn lucky Oprah is on right now with a single mother of quadruplets, because if it was a bad show I would have to choke a bitch.

I request that Ellen be on for two hours tomorrow. Except WAIT I can't watch her because I have to drive again. Excellent.

Thank you.

Yours,
Molly S. Griffin

January 13, 2005
It Is Better with the Grammar the Way It Is
Molly Awesome: chemistry is gay... but our relationship isn't
Molly Awesome: don't leave me hanging here
Molly Awesome: well, at least i know i'm funny.
Molly Awesome: who tf do you think you are, not responding to me.
nemetona3113: Molly awesome, I'm sorry that you have gotten ahold of Mrs. Murphy. I's be right off and have Lauren check in with you.
Molly Awesome: hahaha. oh mrs. murphy, i love you.
nemetona3113: Molly, your too good to be true

This woman makes me feel like a million bucks every time.

January 12, 2005
I Am Happy That I Am Michael Ian Black
Lou said I ran three stop signs and that is a damn lie because no one as attentive as I can run three stop signs and not acknowledge the fact that she has done so.

At least my saxophonic skills have returned.

And at least we saw three deer in the road coming home today.

January 9, 2005
Idealistic Future
For two days straight I did not look out a window, never mind go outside. I kept the curtains drawn in the living room and when my brother opened them all I felt like doing was throwing up. Since my parents were away--again--I was responsible for feeding the rabbits. They didn't get fed and they're probably stiff and dead out in the garage but I'm not about to find out. God forbid I leave the house.

All I really like to do is not be friendly and not shower.

My main problem right now is that there is nothing I want to do with my life except waste it and hurt people along the way.

January 2, 2005
Feliz Ano
Lately, Katiker has been worrying about her future because she thinks she's going to live alone in a dirty apartment with no friends. Whilst I assured her that I am going to visit her all the time, she is not so certain. So I suggested that she get a cat, or better yet, a puppy. But she does not want to walk the dog. Obviously the best solution is to have a dog with no legs.

"Molly, where am I going to find a dog with no legs."

"You just have to get them off."

"I will not cut my dog's legs off!"

"I didn't say cut them off, I said get them off. How you go about doing that is up to you."

We had this discussion a fair few weeks ago. Last night on the phone she said this.

"Hey, so I've been thinking about how I'm going to live alone, right?"

"I told you, get the legless dog."

"Yeah, I know. I've been thinking about that. And Molly, I'm going to name it Legolas."

Needless to say, I l'd my a off.

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