August 5, 2003
Here's To You, My Best Friend

Do you know? Do you know that we stay up? Do you know that we stay up until two in the morning? Do you know that we stay up until two in the morning thinking? Do you know that we stay up until two in the morning thinking of you?

Maybe it's our fault. Maybe you're sitting at home right now, wondering what happened just like we are. But I never forgot you, and neither did she. Maybe you didn't mean to. Maybe it just happened on its own accord. But I don't believe that, because we wouldn't let that happen. Remember what we said about always being there? That we were different from any previous bonds? We were fucking invincible. No, I don't think we would let time fade us. We were too awesome.

i drove home listening to some of those songs we listened to those times when we were infinite.

Was it an unconscious decision to ignore us? Is this just the result of too many 'I'll talk to her tomorrow's added up? So if I may refer back to my poem: where's that tomorrow you promised?

you told me that you loved me. i started tearing down those walls. i really started to trust you. but you set me up to take the fall.

I guess I feel deceived in a way. More like gullible, actually. I hadn't told anyone anything about myself until you, you know. Every problem that I write about in this thing? They've all been going on for years. And I only started talking about it since you came around. I lost the words you gave me, and I wish I still had them. I could read them and pretend that they were new, and that you were really talking to me. But just so you know, if you hadn't come around, I'd still be under the restraints of my own mind, kicking and screaming and begging for someone to talk to.

I wish I could talk to you now.

Please don't think that we've given up. Because we still stay up until two in the morning trying to fix what's been undone. And we still stare at our screens praying that you'll be the one to talk first. And we still wish you were around to talk to. I don't think you know how awesome you are.

I want you to know that I miss you. I miss you so.

We just want to know what we did wrong.

- Molly{12:03 am}

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