July 31, 2002
Pop-Up Ads

Oh I have had it up to HERE with you circus midgets! And by circus midgets I mean pop-up ads!*

Ad agencies suck. They should all burn in hell. I would rather talk to telemarketers than deal with pop up shit. It used to be simple. There would be a single banner across the top of the webpage that you could just ignore. Sometimes, it might even interest you. Some still interest me, and I actually CLICK them. But the pop-up ads? FORGET IT.

You know I'm mad when things are capitalized.

The following are collections of pop-up ad opinions:
lostprophet06: what is your personal opinion on pop-up ads and how they affect everyday Internet web 'surfing'?

xX SaMMy*** Xx: personnally, i think their extremely annoying and i find it almost difficult to go into a website because there are so many.
lostprophet06: and in regards to the deceiving ads that make you believe that they will close, when they just retrieve more, your opinion?
xX SaMMy*** Xx: o man, thats the worst. its like they say ok click to close. and it just opens a hundred more. i think its just horrible how annoying the internet is these days!
*****tortah: damn those stupid fuckers
sHOaLInNiNja***: i dunno i hate them i x out of them without looking
sHOaLInNiNja***: doesnt everyone?
lostprophet06: yes, but there are the tricky ones that deceive you, and the X just makes more come
lostprophet06: what is your opinion of that?
sHOaLInNiNja***: i hate them
lostprophet06: well. at least you're blunt.

In each of these interviews, the person speaks of the most horrible creations I have ever seen. Pop-up ads were bad enough, weren't they? It's supposed to be like you're flipping through the magazine. You come across 10 pages of ads, as always. Though they are one after the other, they're not so bad. You can just turn away from them if you're not interested. So you should just be able to leave that window with no problem. I mean, if you don't want a mini hidden surveillance camera, your loss, right? The attitude that certain pop-up ads have is just disgusting.

Here's the scenario. You have just closed out of this very site, and you're all happy because once again, you have been updated on yourself on my life. Suddenly, another window immediately pops up. You search frantically for the X in the corner, but it is no where to be found. You are forced to actually look at the ad, hoping there is some way out of the trap. There, in the upper left is a button that says "Close Window". With a sigh, you click it. But it doesn't depress like a normal button. Rather, it is surrounded by a stagger-line box, and it hits you. It's too late. You have clicked another link. That was no button, it was a normal image link. 3 more ads come. Rather than trying to click the X, you feel clever and go for the start bar. But the ad agencies are one step ahead of you. They always will be. One of the windows that popped up was an image of a start bar, so you click it, think it is your own. 'Fuck!' you yell, as ad after ad arrives, soiling your monitor with Weight Loss Pills, Secret Cameras, and Meet-Your-Mate programs.

Somehow, your computer thought the frenzied clicking of X meant that you wanted to download it's product. Because now there is a box saying "Would you like to complete the download?" No. I don't want to download whatever product you're trying to deliver a virus to my computer with, you motherfucking devil machine.

Your computer then crashes due to lack of memory. Clearly, you are compelled to buy these items now. If they have enough power to make an entire computer system stop functioning, they must be worth the money.

Not only do the pop-up ads provide us with fantastic images, they now are an actual source of entertainment! You thought Shock The Monkey was fun? Wait till you play basketball. If you get it in the hoop, you win a million dollars. What a deal! There is no catch, either! It's so easy, they actually let you bring the ball right over the rim before shooting. It makes you feel like a pro, especially when you throw the ball in the other direction and it still goes in. Now that's awesome.

But games aren't the only things pop-up ads offer. Now, when you're doing some web surfing and you see a bug skitter across your screen, don't fear! It will soon drag in an insect repellent ad! Loud noises make me want to buy stuff too. Just provide me with a loud buzzing noise, followed by an NBA hoops ad that slides across the screen, and I'm hooked! It's such an addictive ad that really disappoints me when it's gone. I miss the noise resonating from my speakers...

This entry will no doubt have a follow up, maybe 2 follow ups for when I find new ads that really catch my attention. As for now, I will leave it at that. I'm sorry for any pop up ads that Geocities destroys my awesome site with. Really.

*I have nothing against circus midgets. It's a line from Ren and Stimpy, and if anyone thinks I have a problem with them, they're going to get an answer from my fist. < waves fist angrily >

- Molly{2:19 am}

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