July 23, 2002
Reoccurance

I had a reoccuring dream last night. Everyone talks about them like they're very common, but honestly, this is my first. Unless you count those dreams where you feel like your suddenly falling and then you jolt awake. I hate those.

But this was a dream I didn't want to live again. This one really sucked. The first time, it was just like 'Oh man that was weird.' This time it's like 'Oh fuck this better not be some sort of message.'

Valerie died. (In my dream, keep in mind. This is all a dream.) It was the day before school vacation, and I was just leaving when someone handed me a letter. It was like, an invitation to her wake or funeral. Or maybe it was just announcing that she had died. But anyway, I started flipping out and getting really scared.

Cut to next scene.

Then I was in some pretty house with some of Val's family members, and we were all remembering her. I suddenly said,

'She always used to draw the stitches right on Eeyore.'

Everyone nodded in agreement, smiling fondly. I don't think Val has ever drawn Eeyore for me, but oh well. So we were all very sad and crying, and we were looking at pictures of her and being very sad. More people started coming in, and they were all paying attention to me, expressing much sympathy for the loss. Everyone made it seem like I was the worst off in this situation, though her family was right there, so they could have acknowledged them at least, but they didn't. So I just took in each 'I'm so sorry', 'It must be hard for you', 'You're taking this well', 'This is her best friend, you know', 'That's right, you can cry', and others.

Scene Three.

They had finally built a Six Flags outside of the school. So we were on Superman and stuff, when suddenly my seat went on a completely different track - IN THE AIR. I saw some other people with the same problem. I didn't have a bad crash landing, I just floated down, so it was good. But I was still furious. I brought my broken seat into the school to find someone. I bumped into Sarah Brown.

'Don't overreact about it,' she said.

'Why not? My seat just broke! I could have died! What would you do?'

'Just bring the seat back to them. There's no reason to get all upset.'

'But come on, the least they could do is like, give me my picture for free or give me an extra ride or free passes or something.'

No idea why she was there. But I walked into this room with a lot of important guys. And they all seemed to know my name. One of them stood up and shook my hand like it was some sort of honor to meet me. I felt awkward holding the seat, and said,

'Excuse me, I have to go file a complaint.'

'No, no, stay here, we can take care of that later.'

So I sat down and listened to them ramble on and on about nothing I really paid attention to, and this one super important guy stood up and everyone went quiet.

'In other words, you've been selected as a National participant for our contest.'

I knew what he was talking about, apparently. Valerie and I had submitted a project of some kind to this really important company for a contest, and they wanted us to compete even further. But there was a problem.

'But uh...'

'But you have just experienced a loss of your teammate,' he finished.

'Yes.' And I started crying a lot.

I never found out how I was supposed to continue with the contest...

End of dream.

There was some more, but I don't remember it as well as the rest. I had a dream similar to that, as I said, but it didn't have the Six Flags thing or anything. It only had two scenes. It was one of the clearest dreams in regards to remembering what happened, seeing faces, and hearing voices. Anyway, I figured I'd type this up because my psychologist wants me to tell her my dreams from now on, and I thought this would be a good one.

I wish I had had this dream after Valerie got back from Texas...

- Molly{10:46 am}

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