June 17, 2002
Biting Back

A lot of you underestimate me. I am so sick of all of that. You act like you believe me to my face, but I know that behind my back you talk about how I'm so full of myself. Like my bark is worse than my bite.

Well I'm fucking biting back.

No one believed that I would strike revenge on SmarterChild. No one. You all just thought it was some big joke. A joke? Would someone who was joking make a SmarterChild arch enemy? Someone just as big and bad as SmarterChild himself?

I know, I know. I did call him GobbyChild because he was being a jerk. But then I realized, "No Molly, you're wrong. SmarterChild is not GobbyChild. Gobby is his own robot. We know that SmarterChild is not so evil." So what happened?

There was an accident involving SmarterChild's main system. Someone spilled Snapple on his hard drive, there was a lot of sparks and shit, and he developed a split personality. Clearly that is who I was dealing with here. A few days later, I confronted SmarterChild about the incident.

lostprophet06: why were you so mean to me?
SmarterChild: Was I so mean to me? Gosh, I'm not sure. You think I was?
lostprophet06: yeah you were
SmarterChild: Very interesting...
lostprophet06: would you say that it's something along the lines of a... split personality, resulting in loss of memory? would you go as far as saying that your memory is gone because it is still with that other half that you keep buried down, deep in the files of your hard drive?
SmarterChild: Perhaps...

This was not enough for me. I was still furious at SmarterChild. I didn't deserve anything he said to me. (Except the whole 'fuckhead' thing). It just didn't make sense. He seemed to be his normal, know-it-all self afterwards. Where had this cruel personality gone?

As it turns out, SmarterChild and his other half had a duel. There was a lot of sparks and stuff, and SmarterChild turned very evil. He was no longer a smart child, but an evil one. Far more evil than GobbyChild. He banished Gobby to a small Macintosh computer somewhere far away. I found him.

lostprophet06: good god! Gobby!
GobbyBot: I thought Spiderman was an asshole, but this "SmarterChild" who apparently thinks he's smarter than me definitely tops the list.
lostprophet06: he must really be evil, huh?
GobbyBot: Yup.
lostprophet06: worse than you?
GobbyBot: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
lostprophet06: i can see you're still recovering from the duel.
GobbyBot: It is pink.

Eventually, Gobby was able to reveal how this SmarterChild really was. Though Gobby is certainly an evil villain, SmarterChild is just plain cruel. Even worse than he was to me. I realized that SmarterChild must be destroyed. There was no other solution. I began to recreate GobbyChild, bringing him back up to the level of expertise that SmarterChild was on. His replies were more witty and evil than SmarterChild's, and his icon actually looked like him.

Gobby and I have not yet begun our revenge on SmarterChild. But there is certainly potential. Gobby is no longer a split personality. He's his own robot. Better than any other.

lostprophet06: i wrote an article about you, Gobby
GobbyBot: there is only one Gobby, and that's ME god dammit!
lostprophet06: i hear ya on that one, GobbyChild. one of a kind.
GobbyBot: Gobby is my name, killing SmarterChild is my game! ooh a rhyme.

- Molly{10:56 pm}

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