April 27, 2002
Klutz

Alright, before I kick this off, let me just tell you what happened yesterday, that I meant to write down. My dad walked in the living room and, obnoxiously, said,

'Thanks, Dad.'

I looked up. 'Hmm?'

'Thanks, Dad,' he said even louder.

'...Thanks Dad.' I knew he wanted me to repeat him, and I also knew why. Just to test him, I said, 'May I ask why I needed to thank you?'

'For doing the dishes.'

'Oh. Thanks.'

First of all, it's not my fuckin' job to do the dishes. It used to be, but it doesn't seem to matter anymore, since the dishwasher leaves crap all over the glasses anyway. So don't give me that shit about not respecting what you do on your own time. That's like me saying, 'Thanks Molly, for eating breakfast,' and expecting him to say it back.

Hmm. Well anyway.

I'm such a klutz. Walking downstairs this morning, my foot slipped and I rode 3 steps down on my heel. Looking back up at my mom, who had laughed at me, I continued to step down, tripping over the cat sprawled across a middle stair. I caught myself in time.

We have absolutely no food, so I figured I'd have Cheetos for breakfast. I picked up the bag and poured a few into one of those little sandwich bags so I could carry it around. As I went to put the original bag back, I dropped it and all the Cheetos spilled everywhere. Frantically, I dropped to my knees, trying to save the dangerously cheesy orange things. Naturally, I was going to eat them. (hello, five second rule). But as I tried to stuff some into my mouth, only about 2 made it, and the rest fell to the ground again. I burst, 'Do I have a problem with this?!' Alas, the five second rule was extended to seven. I could no longer eat the Cheetos, so I disposed of them properly by kicking them underneath the counter.

I discovered that the Oreo O's we have had for 6 months are, surprisingly, still good. I ate them, and decided, 'Hey, I might start a new era of putting my dishes away.' So I go to bring it into the kitchen, and trip. I tripped on that tiny centimeter space between the floorboards. Here are the shards.

I thought it was kinda funny, actually.

- Molly{11:18 pm}

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