April 15, 2002
I Feel So

How one ends up being somewhat nocturnal is interesting. Despite the clock change last week, and the first two days of vacation already completed, I find no difficulty in staying up to 3 in the morning, and waking up at 8 the same day. And though teachers and mothers and grandparents and MCAS scorers proclaim it to be true, I function as normally under roughly 5 hours of sleep as I would any other day.

I hate being on the computer when someone else is home. Headphones must be on, and the website background must be a light color. If it is a dark color, the person who walks by (also known as "Dad") will suspect that it is a "bad site."

But once he goes to bed, I'm in my nightly realm of music, tv, food, sims, and little bugs that have found a home on my monitor. And I need to stay awake, because I need to treasure these few hours of solitude.

All day long, I've been having these 5 minute bursts of anger, where I would continually punch my computer desk. Then it would end, and I'd look at my red, bruised knuckles, wondering what the hell I was doing. I don't know what was wrong with me.

I think I just... wanted to be mad. At something. At someone. It's been a while since I've been genuinely pissed. But I'm OK for the time being.

I have discovered Box Car Racer. I've heard about the whole side project for a while now, but I hadn't actually heard the music. At MTV, I was pleased to see that they had given them their own band section. I found a clip of "I Feel So".

It's going to be my favorite song for a looooong time.

I wish April was over... Box Car Racer drops their album in May, and I think some other bands do too... and I can't get I Feel So out of my head. Which doesn't bother me at all.

If you'll excuse me for the night, I'm going to listen to the song once or twice more, and then go upstairs and read... or something... not sleep, I can't sleep... so read...

It's only 12:53, who am I kidding. Sims.

- Molly Doesn't Want A Stupid Descriptive Word Here Anymore{12:53 am}

back home