March 5, 2002
"Good Morning Molly"

I woke up this morning and turned my alarm off. I guess I hadn't really contemplated about it then, but throughout the day, a thought came to my head : Alarm clocks should talk.

Beep Beep Beep.

'Good morning Molly, it's time to get ready for school.'

'No,' I would grumble. 'I'm tired. It's too early.'

'No it's not. It's 6:30. Today is going to be a good day.'

'It is? Why didn't you say so?' I would get up out of bed.

'I did say so. Approximately 7 seconds ago.'

'Oh alarm clock,' I would chuckle. 'Will you ever quit.'

'Would you like to hear another joke?'

'Oh no thanks, alarm clock. I would listen, but I've got to get to school. After all, it's a good day.'

Ah... the wonderous world we would have if there were talking alarm clocks. Here's what a bad day scenario would be:

'Good morning Molly. There's no need to get up today. Though the morning is good, the rest of your day is bound to be unpleasant. Just go back to sleep now, and I'll wake you when you're hungry.'

'Oh... thanks, but why'd you wake me up to begin with?'

'If you woke up later in the day and panicked, there's a good chance you would throw me across the room screaming "Why didn't you wake me up?" or something of the sort. I'm saving you both money and time, which you can now spend and waste on food and tv.'

'I don't think there's anyone smarter than you, alarm clock.'

Man, I could live like that.

Oh, so anyway.

The reason I want talking, predicting alarm clocks is that I don't want to have to go through days like these. I woke up thinking, 'Hey, todays a good day, I can feel it.' And it was. Until throughout the day I started getting less... happy about things. And less and less.

I don't feel like going into detail. It's not really important to you, nor is it to me anymore. Man, I always get tired of concluding these. So my final words: Alarm clocks are smarter than you. Get over it.

- Molly the Blah Blah Blah {7:51 pm}

back home