and sometimes i wonder
if anyone would miss this
sweet girl
if she never came home

if anyone would miss her
fake smiles and rotten lies
her wicked heart
frozen to the world

i can feel it
the ruin seething through me
turning my blood to wax
and i sometimes wonder

if anyone truly cares
or if they're just interested
in what they see
in what they could claim as theirs
a pretty decoration for their arm

and i'll play the showgirl
i'll play the queen for you
i'll sip those bright coloured drinks
when in reality

i am so dead
and empty
and broken
and cold
and i sometimes wonder

if this is real
if anyone knows
how alone and lost i am
misguided by men

i deserve this
life of shit
i inflict this
sadistic condition
upon myself with intention

and i sometimes wonder
if you could
if i might
save me from myself
for this is such a risky dance
with death
asphodeline lutea part II

for the seemingly ever-lasting flower
was overlooked in her darkest hour
and too much like a fool I hath lingered for thee
who sees only her
and straight through me
no one knows
what she goes through
when she shuts that door
on the adoring crowd

when she wipes away
makeup
with tears
and breathes in sharp breaths
angered that each draws a new

no, she does not regret
she is only saddened
of what she has become

an object
of desire
of need
of lust

nothing more
nothing more

all alone
that sad little angel
sitting atop the pedestal

all alone
that sad ballerina
dancing for whoever
opens the top of the box

no one sees her crumble
when they close it
another glass broken and swallowed
the pieces stuck in my throat
piercing me with each movement
and i can't remove them
for the blood would gush
choking me
so i wait, and like the ocean
with each breath the glass will wear down
the edges will get smoother with time
but they'll always be in there
you'll always be in there
you'll always be in me
a place
where he reaches for my hand
and i look into his eyes
and see him for what he really is
a liar
a cheat
a stealer of naive hearts

the easiest and most cruel to corrupt
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