I want you, i need you, i love you, and all that stuff
You said all these things to me and i called your bluff
Now i'm paying for it, standing, screaming alone
I should've known better than to wallow in you alone
I crave you, i feel you, i breathe you and all that shit
I keep hearing these things from you & i'm tired of it
But i keep on coming back for more, and now i'm dead
Inside and your standing here, carrying my head
Don't tell me stop breathing, stop bleeding, stop seething
Don't say i'm unwanted, ungrateful, uncaring
I see you, i hear you, i speak you, this was your game
to guilt-trip me so that i just couldn't walk away
but i don't blame myself for all these things we've done
You were the driver, you hit me, i'm just a pedestrian
Don't tell me stop crying, stop breaking, stop speaking
Don't say i'm a freak, i'm a has-been, a was-then
I hate you, i closed you, i killed you, these are my words
But i am you, i know that, and that hurts the worst
Now we're paying for it, standing here looking down
we are the pool of water in which we both will drown
So let's stop this dreaming, believing, that we had fun
So let's stop pretending, it's ending, it's already done
My heart was structured - Now it's partitioned
You have no influence on my intuition
My head's now corroded - It used to be clear
But all that changed with you standing here
I stand and gape at myself, looking foolish
You say that abuse is not abuse till there's bruises
Nevertheless, you've done a number on me
Emotionally
Your hands were careful - Now they're calloused
Worn away by your intentions for malice
Your smile is broken - It used to be warm
Now when you grin, it's the calm before the storm
You said you were not a baby-sitter
And i stood and gaped at you, looking bitter
You can think out loud, saying what have i done
But you had fun
So i prepare for your trial - Your defense is denial
But i'm still here
You can state your case - But your words are erased
'Cause i'm still here
I could leave you alone - You could turn me to stone
With your fear
I could always stay - But i'm walking away
I am no longer here
I don't always do as i am told
Just light up a USA gold
Just inhale and exhale my rebellion
Running naked in the rain
A glass of california champagne
Proving i don't need you here
Lately, i can't do anything
Lately, i can't be myself
Lately, i don't see anything
Lately, i don't know myself
Wrap myself in pity
And just wallow
Don't surrender
Just grab a bottle
Sleep, sleep, sleep
Another good dream
And a headache in the morning
Another restless sleep
And a vision without warning
You again
I remember - I smiled an "i'm sorry" like you gave a damn
My mistake
I remember - your hands - casual, like nothing happened
But i woke up one day - or i will
Another bad dream
And hangover jargon
And more poetry
Off-center - Out of margin
You again
Nobody's watching and you won't burn
But i don't have a tool sharp enough
To engrave my words in your head
Well, someday, i'll know better
I don't need to die
To realize i'm not living right
I stand in yet another pattern
And live inside a hollow cavern
Ready to break
I don't need to love
To realize that i'm giving up
I sit in yet another rule
Given to me by some damn fool
Ready to take me away
I don't need to be here
To realize i'm not
Today is the first day of never
Tomorrow is the last day of forever
And you told me that i died yesterday
But i was never really here anyway
You are metal against metal
Shooting sparks in my eyes
But we just play handsome and gretal
as our life, in the oven, dies
So cheat your way through
Do what you do best
Leave all the burdens on me
Crushing the bones in my chest
Just lie your way through
Do what you do
I no longer feel the need to explain myself to you
Yesterday was the first day of the end
And the past is lying, he's at it again
And you told me i'll be free someday
But they'll keep me in shackles for today
You are fuel upon the fire
Blowing ashes in my face
And the flames keep rising higher
But i'm rooted to this place
Chorus
You are the first day of my demise
And the future may never hear my cries
And you said another drink would do the trick
As you keep bleeding - another wound for you to lick
You are rock paper scissors
I beat you, yet you win
And the future is lying
So we're at it again
And we've both been lying
And there is no real end
Let's go at it again