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| The Sunday Scoop Edition #8 Henry, Clay Henry. I love firemen. Firemen are very hot. If fire stations rented rooms, I�d get one � and fill it with a video camera and a bucket for my drool. Mmm, firemen. Err, anyway seeing as I have this firemen attraction, what could be more perfect than an ad with firemen in it? That�s right � NOTHING. Well, except of course the entire first edition of Lord of the Rings in hard cover with all appendixes, but that�s another story entirely. So there I am, watching TV, when I see a group of men sitting around a table dressed in dark blue and fluoro yellow jump up at the sound of an alarm and slide down a pole. That�s right, they�re firemen � and good-looking ones for a change. That�s right, you know the one. It has that damn catchy song that you can�t get out of your head and you find yourself singing it when you�re out in public � �Henry, Clay Henry. He got real big on burgers and fries. Thanks to Subway, he�s a smaller size.� � and then the people in the supermarket look at you funny. Ok, maybe that just applies to me. Anyway, moving right long; I�m sitting there, watching my future husband in all his fireman splendour when it occurs to me that this ad is absolute crap (that�s right, even little ol� me succumbed to a foolish ad � hey, I�m only human. Apparently that�s a legal excuse nowadays). The only thing it has going for it is Mr. Clay Henry. Well, maybe except for his name � who would name their child Clay? (�Hi, I�d like you to meet our son, Clay � and our daughter, Dirt � and our other son, Grass�). I�m praying that it�s an abbreviation for something slightly more sophisticated, like Clayton. Clayton Henry � has a nice ring to it, don�t you think? But leaving my people naming skills aside for a moment, I was forced to ponder what else this ad has going for it other than Mr. Henry and I came up with a big fat nothing. The basic plot of the ad is that Clay was fat and thanks to Subway�s miracle food (�With 6 grams of fat or less!�), he no longer is. Meanwhile, it teeny microscopic print down the bottom it says, �in conjunction with regular exercise�. Clay wasn�t quite eye-catching enough for me to miss that � almost, but not quite. Maybe they should do a topless version � Err, anyway what I don�t understand about the ad is why there are singing firemen everywhere he goes. I think it�s so we�ll be distracted from the teeny disclaimer at the bottom of the screen, but it�s possible that I might have drifted off and missed the part where Subway announced that they were bringing out a musical. The Sound of Mushroom? My Fair Gravy? No, no, wait � I got it: The King and Rye. Don�t get me wrong, I�ve eaten a Subway roll before and I did enjoy it, but it was nothing that I couldn�t have made myself. I�m wondering if someone should let Clay know that he could easily make a Subway roll using the ingredients in his fridge � Naaaaaah. That would just mean one less firemen ad and then the world would indeed be a very, very sad place � well, for me anyway. Sarah Taylor, Professional smart-ass. |