His eyes focused on the open journal and the blank page. For once in his life he hadn't been able to put his emotions on paper. Just as the stars had been for Jack., writing had always been a solace to Daniel, but that too had abandoned him now for he hadn't been able to express his grief, his terror, his heartache in written words. Jack had been more than his commanding officer, more than his best friend and how could mere words on paper express his shattering loss? He couldn't begin to put into words what the man had meant to him. Jack had shown him the trust and respect the young man had craved all his life. He had allowed Daniel to become a part of something special, something bigger than the both of them combined and above all that, the man had shown him what it was really like to have a family. Despite all that, Daniel had stupidly, foolishly let him die.

The scientist knew Jack's death was his fault! He knew that one thing as surely as he knew his name was Daniel Jackson. He wasn't sure how but it was most assuredly his fault. It was his fault because he hadn't been able to convince Rooshan they weren't conquerers looking for new territory. He hadn't been able to convince the leader they weren't Goa'uld seeking slaves and hosts. Something he had said or done, or something about him had appeared untrustworthy and Jack , who always had faith in him, had paid the ultimate price.

Jack... He could vividly picture the soldier standing there by the couch, hands shoved in his pockets, rocking back on his heels with that know-it-all smirk on his face.

He could hear the soldier's stubborn voice, "It wasn't your fault, Daniel."

Unable to resist, Daniel spoke aloud to the aberration."Yes it was."

The soldier shook his head. "How?"

He couldn't even face this non-entity as he dropped his guilty gaze to stare at the floor. "I should have-have....done something"

The ghost Jack pressed on. "What?"

The long sandy brown hair shifted as Daniel shook his head, his voice breaking, "I don't....anything. I should have tried harder to-"

The ghost sighed softly, "There was nothing you could have done."

Pain in his heart and in his mind, Daniel curled into a ball on the corner of the couch, shutting his eyes to close out the hallucination and the guilt its presence renewed.

*****

"Are you telling me, no one has spoken to him since the memorial service?" Hammond's gaze traveled around the briefing room table from Sam to Teal'c to Janet. "That was almost...almost four days ago! Are you sure he's home?"

"Yes, sir. Ferretti's practically been living in his apartment parking lot since he followed Daniel home." Sam wearily rubbed the back of her neck as she added, "He's not answering the phone or the door."

"I'm afraid he's totally withdrawing, sir. As far as I know Dr. Jackson hasn't said a word to anyone since he finished video taping his report." Janet inhaled deeply. "If someone doesn't get through to him soon, sir..."

"Doctor, do you think it's possible he might-" Hammond's next words were abruptly interrupted by alarm klaxons.

"Incoming Traveler!"

"There are no teams offworld!" Alarmed, the general pushed back from the table, rushing to the control room followed closely by Carter and Teal'c. He immediately turned to Siler. "Why isn't the iris closed!?"

"I don't know, sir!" Siler responded as Sam slid into the seat beside him, her fingers moving rapidly over the keyboard. "It's acting like it did when...." The sentence trailed off as the event horizon settled into place and a shimmer formed, then broke through.

Stunned silence met O'Neill as he stepped from the flux onto the ramp. He stood for several seconds staring at all the weaponry aimed his direction before turning his wide eyed gaze to the control room window and the people gathered there.

"Hey kids, Daddy's home!"

*****

Chaos and excitement reigned before they all gathered in the briefing room to hear Jack's story.

"...Evidently this was their way of testing our truthfulness." Jack rocked back in the chair, delighting in the comfort of the soft leather, the aroma of the rich brew filling his nostrils as he sipped the coffee. "Whatever was in that dart simulated death. When they sent you guys home and you didn't try to attack in retaliation they believed what Daniel had spent two hours trying to tell them in the first place."

"But sir, we tried for two days to redial PQ5483!" Sam protested, not wanting him to think they'd abandoned him. "We couldn't get through....Not that we would have attacked but-"

"Good thing or they may have killed me for real." Jack's gaze kept drifting to the door, expecting Daniel to come bursting into the room. He hadn't been able to forget the expression on his young friend's face just before he'd slipped into the drug induced coma. God, he never wanted to see that look again!!. "Soooo....was it a nice service?"

"Colonel-"

"C'mon, don't tell...Please don't tell me you packed up my house or anything." Jack interrupted the general.

"Not yet."

A tone in his commanding officer's voice told O'Neill there was something more they weren't saying. It suddenly seemed as if no one wanted to look him in the eye, a feeling Jack found very disconcerting, especially coming from Teal'c. Daniel's conspicuous absence bothered him the most. Had the kid done something stupid like quit? If he knew Daniel, and he did, the kid was probably off on a humongus guilt trip. Had he been hurt? Was he lying in the infirmary waiting for Jack to visit?

Jack had fully enjoyed the shocked expressions, the backslapping and hugs when they had finally realized he was actually standing before them, alive and in one piece, but now all he wanted was to see his best friend. He needed to see Daniel's smile. That bright smile so full of warmth and welcome. That hesitant smile which grew until Daniel's azure eyes shone with pride each time they came to rest on a friend.

O'Neill's jovial mood disappeared and his voice took on a worried tone. "What's going on? Where's Daniel?"

"That's what we were discussing when you..."

"Arose from the dead?" Jack supplied helpfully. A wave of renewed concern washed over him. They had been discussing Daniel. "What's happened? Is he alright? Where is he?" He looked from Teal'c to Carter. "Where's Daniel?" he demanded again.

"Colonel!" The sharp tone accomplished its goal as O'Neill's gaze snapped back to Hammond. "Dr. Jackson left immediately following your memorial service and no one has been able to get a hold of him since."

The rest of whatever the general was going to say was spoken to an empty chair as, without waiting for a dismissal, Jack dashed from the room.