It was late and Daniel's room was once again lit only by the small overhead light. Carter having spelled Jack, was sitting in the bedside chair, when the sounds of stirring pulled her attention from the novel. The book dropped forgotten to the floor as she jumped to her feet. Daniel was moving restlessly, the first sign of returning consciousness from him since surgery.

His motions stilled as she lay a gentle hand on his shoulder. As soft as a sigh, one raspy word escaped his lips. "..Jak.."

Sam watched as he struggled, his long lashes fluttering before he was able to finally force the lids open. He stared up at her with unfocused blue eyes, as the dry whispered rasp came again. "a..ack.."

"Daniel," she spoke softly, "he's not here right now."

His eyes drifted shut and a shuddering sigh escaped him as he seemed to marshal his strength, fighting again to force the words, "...t-talk...'ack..." His blue eyes fixed on her face. "Ja-ack..." A grimace of pain washed across his ashen features and his eyes slid shut.

"Okay Daniel," she tried to reassure him. "Let me buzz Janet and I'll go find Jack myself." She hit the call button, motioning the doctor closer as Janet rushed into the room. "Daniel's conscious. He's asking for Jack."

"Sam?" The doctor's voice stopped her as Carter reached the door. "Don't disturb the Colonel. Daniel's out of it again."

Stepping back to the bedside chair, Carter could see Daniel's eyes were indeed closed, his features slack. "Why do you think he's so adamant about seeing the Colonel?" She asked with a frown.

Janet shook her head. "Maybe it's none of our business." Her words were soft, but Sam did a double take, wondering what the doctor knew that she didn't.

Daniel didn't regain consciousness again and later, when Teal'c arrived to take her place, Sam went in search of the colonel. Finding him near the elevators, she broke into a wide smile. "Colonel! Daniel was awake and lucid!"

"That's great Carter." He tried to muster a smile.

"He was asking for you sir."

Jack's face blanched but Carter didn't notice as she babbled on about their friend's improving condition. He finally excused himself and stood by the elevators debating. O'Neill knew he should go check on the kid, but there was just such a sense of guilt. How could he face his friend after what had happened? Casting a longing look down the corridor, he stepped into the elevator and pushed the 'up' button.

Jack glanced around in despair, wondering how of all the places in the world, he'd ended up here. Some small voice tried to logically tell him, he'd stopped by to water the plants and feed the fish but O'Neill knew it was a lie as he crossed the darkened apartment, side stepping the boxes and paper stacks which covered the area. With a small smile, he shook his head. Daniel would never get points for neatness.

The smile faded as he stood by the windows, looking down on the quiet street. This apartment wasn't in the best neighborhood and he and Carter were always razzing Daniel about being on the wrong side of the tracks but tonight, for some reason, this place felt more like a haven to Jack than his own house. Maybe it was the sense of Daniel which surrounded him, here with all the things that made the man what he was. "Or almost wasn't," his mind sniped bitterly.

The colonel turned away from the windows and moved to turn on a light. He glanced at the answering machine sitting next to the lamp. There was no blinking light to indicate messages, unlike his own after a two day mission. Jack's tape was always full. A small voice sniped it was because Daniel didn't have a life but another sagely pointed out that the only people who cared enough to call were the ones he was with on those missions.

The fish anxiously swarmed to the top, awaiting the flakes as he crossed to the tank. Shaking the food from box, he stepped back to watch them dart after it. Daniel was gonna have a helluva time taking them to Abydos. That smile also faded with the thought. That was one speculation he had no urge to explore now...or ever. Watering the greeny by the windows, Jack flipped the glass upside down to drain and wiping his hands on his fatigues, moved back to the living room.

Several archaeological magazines lay on the cluttered coffee table, still in their plastic mailing wrappers. He gathered them together, thinking it would give the kid something to read when he felt up to it. His eyes fell on a journal lying open, a pen placed between the pages as if Daniel had just stepped from the room.

Jack glanced at the precise script, startled to see his name. A frown creasing his forehead, he looked guiltily around the apartment. O'Neill was never one to pry but curiousity got the better of him and he looked closer, reading the finely scripted lines written on the page.

"...I couldn't protect Sha'uri's baby. I can't talk to Jack. He'll just think of how he didn't protect Charlie. Was I right to take Sha'uri's baby from her? I need to talk to someone, but how can I discuss this with Jack? He's lost a child of his own...How can I dredge up those painful memories? How can I risk that? I could never hurt Jack like that but there's no one else I trust..."

Jack's eyes blurred the rest of the words as he straightened. The entry continued on the next page, but he'd read enough. He couldn't bring himself to turn the page. It had been weeks since they had returned from Abydos. Had this been bothering Daniel the entire time? Why hadn't he seen it? Why had it taken the nightmare to bring it out in the open?

Unbidden he heard Daniel's words..."How many more have to suffer"...Daniel had been suffering and hadn't approached Jack because he was concerned about bringing up memories of Charlie. His throat seemed to close up. If Daniel hadn't broached the subject with him, he had carried it alone, for Jack knew he was the only one the scientist opened up to. The one he trusted.

O'Neill dragged his hands over his face. He had destroyed that trust. Angry with the scientist, Jack had treated him like a stranger...and had almost gotten him killed. Yet, Sam said Daniel was asking for him. So why was he here?

"Hiding out!" The voice in his head shouted. "You're hiding out!"

Gathering the magazines, he quickly left the apartment, locking the door behind him.