Rocker speaks to Baseball Weekly
Atlanta Braves relief pitcher John Rocker finds himself in an awkward situation - an outcast in his own clubhouse for making disparaging remarks about a variety of ethnic groups, yet elevated to hero's status by throngs of fans around the country. In an exclusive interview with Baseball Weekly's Bob Nightengale, Rocker talks about reclaiming the Braves' closer job and putting the past behind him. He also calmly looks forward to his date with the New York Mets at Shea Stadium next week.
PHILADELPHIA - It was 11:15 at night. The Atlanta Braves' team bus had departed more than a half-hour ago. The only sound in the visiting clubhouse was the whirring noise of vacuum cleaners, and the echo of one showerhead trickling onto the tile.
John Rocker, in no particular hurry, and with nowhere to go but back to the hotel, was left all alone for yet another night.
"Come on, I wasn't serious. I wish . . . I could take take it back. I am sorry I said those things." - Rocker on his 'Sports Illustrated' interview.
There were no invitations for a quick bite to eat. No one asked if he was interested in joining their card game. No one bothered to ask if he wanted to grab a beer at the hotel bar. No one asked him a damn thing.
It has been this way most of the season. Rocker really has no close friends on the team. Thankfully, his girlfriend, Staci Sutton (the daughter of Hall of Famer Don Sutton), often travels with him.
Rocker, who can go virtually an entire day in the clubhouse without a teammate approaching him, understands the isolation. There are teammates who hate him. A few won't even look his way when they pass each other in the clubhouse. Most are at least polite.
It's no big deal to him. You don't have to be best friends with everyone to win a World Series championship. There's no team in baseball where everyone likes each other.
He just has to do his job, and things are cool. No one will talk behind his back. No one will tell the media that he's a cancer. No one will run off telling anyone with a pen or microphone in their hand that he must go.
"You can say what you want about him, and you certainly don't have to like the guy," said Braves right fielder Brian Jordan, who doesn't speak to him, "but the bottom line is that we need him. We need John Rocker. If we're going to go to the World Series again, we need the guy.
"As long as he does his job, you can tolerate anything."
Yes, even New York.
In a week, the Braves will be taking the trip that everyone has been talking about since last winter. They will be at Shea Stadium for a four-game series June 29-July 2. The dates were circled on the calendar the moment Rocker opened his mouth, disparaging every walk of life but tiny green Martians on the moon.
"It was meant as a joke," Rocker said quietly in a rare interview last weekend. "Come on, I wasn't serious. I wish like hell I could take it back. I am sorry I ever said those things."
"The worst thing they (Mets fans) could do to me there is have no reaction . . . I want to get booed. That fires me up." - Rocker.
NO ONE in New York seems to care. They don't want to hear an apology. He's a symbol for everything New Yorkers hate. And they want to show him just how much they despise him when he's scheduled to arrive in their city next week. They're almost daring him to show up. You know what? Rocker will be there.
"I'm not scared, I'm not intimidated in the least," he said. "Come on, what are they going to do to me but boo me? I hope they do.
"The worst thing they could do to me there is have no reaction. No reaction at all. That's the thing that would piss me off the most. I'd hate that.
"I want to get booed. That fires me up. Look at what happened last year in New York. I didn't give up an earned run at Shea or Yankee Stadium in the playoffs. Those people bring out the best in me."
And just to make sure everyone knows he's in town, just in case someone misses the blaring headlines in the tabloids trumpeting Rocker's arrival in New York, or doesn't see the lead news story on any of the town's TV stations, or doesn't turn on the talk shows to hear Rocker's arrival dominate the airwaves, he has a little surprise for New Yorkers.
"The first day I get to New York," he said, "I'm getting on the 7 train. I'm taking it to Shea Stadium. I won't be in a cab. I won't be on the bus. I'll be on that train.
"And I'm looking forward to it."
This is the same 7 train, of course, that helped cause all of the commotion in the first place when he told Sports Illustrated that he would retire before ever playing for a New York team.
"Imagine having to take the (No.) 7 train to (Shea Stadium)," he told the magazine, "looking like you're (in) Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It's depressing.
"The biggest thing I don't like about New York are the foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?"
Rocker, who was suspended for two weeks, has profusely apologized for the remarks. He never meant for them to be made public. Certainly, not in a national magazine for the entire world to see.
He was immediately branded a racist. It took only a few months for Jordan to call him a "cancer." Many of his teammates didn't want him back. Many still feel the same way.
Yet, after dividing a city along racial lines, causing debates and protests throughout Georgia on whether he ever should be allowed to wear a Braves uniform again, Rocker finds himself today as almost a cult hero.
"The last two years I was here, it was 10 times worse than now," Rocker said. "There's been a lot of support. People have been very friendly."
"I think people understand that I'm not the way the media is portraying me." - Rocker
PHILADELPHIA MIGHT be a city that once booed Santa Claus, almost ran Hall of Famer Mike Schmidt out of town, and can reduce professional athletes to tears, but it actually embraced Rocker during the Braves' four-game visit last weekend. This night, after Rocker finally got dressed, dried his hair, looked again in the mirror, and tipped the clubhouse attendant for calling a cab, he took the Veterans Stadium elevator to the second floor.
He walked toward the double-glass door in the lobby leading to the parking lot, and there were 75 fans, maybe even 100, waiting outside.
"Oh, man, I've got to walk through all those fans to get to my cab?" Rocker asked the security guard.
The security guard, showing no real compassion, nodded with a grin on his face.
Rocker looked out, took a deep breath, exhaled and walked out the door, having no idea whether he would be taunted, cheered or vilified.
They cheered the moment the door opened.
"Rock!"
"We love you, John!"
"Welcome back to our city, John!"
"We're on your side, John!"
Rocker signed autographs for maybe 10 minutes and climbed into the back seat of the cab. At the team hotel outside the entrance, he encountered the same reception.
"Rock!" a middle-aged man yelled, throwing his fist into the air. "Go get 'em, Rock! You the man!"
"Good grief, would you look at this," Rocker said, amused by a reaction that is more suited for an NFL lineman walking off the field. "Really, the support around the whole country has been great. I think people understand that I'm not the way the media is portraying me.
"I just wish at some point this whole thing will die, but the media won't let it."
Instead, Rocker's return to New York is expected to create an absolute media frenzy. The Mets are anticipating issuing credentials to almost as many reporters for this series as they handed out last year in the National League Championship Series. The games, at least the final three during the weekend, are expected to be sellouts.
The fans want to see the Braves go down. More important, they want to see Rocker fail, crumble on the mound in front of them and plead for mercy.
"Come on, do you think that will really happen?" Rocker said. "I'll be fine. And like I said, I get up for New York. I get up for those fans booing me.
"And I'm going to be the same on the field, throwing everything I've got, and hitters are just going to have to deal with it.
"I know I've had some control problems this year, and for a while I had my head up my ... but I'm back.
"Believe me, I'm ready."
Even for the 7 train?
"Yeah, I'm not scared," he said. "What are they going to do? I mean, I'm not going to approach anybody or go out of my way to talk to someone, but if someone wants to talk to me, that's fine.
"You saw how they treated me when I pitched in New York last year. How can it get any worse than that? And nothing happened there. I went out in the city, and no one said a word to me.
"I really don't see that changing."
"I felt like a young girl who just met Elvis." - Rocker fan Don Fransko
DON FRANSKO, 21, a car salesman from Vineland, N.J., isn't really a baseball fan. He couldn't care less how the Braves or Phillies fare. He made the 45-minute jaunt from work through traffic last Friday for one reason: He's a self-proclaimed John Rocker fan. He came to offer his support.
"I love the guy," Fransko said. "That's the only reason I'm here. I want to show him that I believe in him, and not to change. I love his cocky attitude."
Fransko, unabashedly showing his adulation, arrived at Veterans Stadium, still wearing his white starched shirt and tie, and carrying an "I love John Rocker" sign.
He thrust the sign high into the air and screamed his name the moment the Braves took the field for batting practice at 6:15 p.m. Rocker heard him, but never acknowledged him, running past him to the outfield and waving his hand without looking back.
Each time a Braves player walked toward the dugout, Fransko yelled out Rocker's name and proudly displayed his sign. He couldn't understand why most players ignored him. Jordan walked by with a look of disgust. Bobby Bonilla kept his head down. It wasn't until 6:43 p.m. when Reggie Sanders became the first to even acknowledge his presence, flipping him a baseball.
Most fans left Fransko alone in his own little world, but a few couldn't resist the temptation. "You're a racist idiot," one fan yelled. Another screamed: "Why don't you hold up a sign that says, 'I'm a racist pig.' "
Rocker, looking on in the outfield, realized what was happening. Here was a fan, sitting in a hostile environment, willing to sacrifice his own well being just to show Rocker some love. When Rocker headed into the clubhouse after batting practice, he grabbed a baseball and flipped it to Fransko. Suddenly, everyone sitting near Fransko became Rocker fans.
"I became a Rocker fan last year during the playoff series against the Mets," said Fransko, who bought his game ticket two months ago, making sure he had a prime seat. "I just loved his attitude.
"I know it got him in trouble, but I loved what he said in that story. I thought it was hilarious. I'm not saying I agreed with everything he said, but just because of his position doesn't mean he has to have his First Amendment rights taken away."
Fransko still can't quite comprehend the hurt and anger Rocker caused by his words, but started to get the idea by staying the entire game. He exchanged seats to sit out in left field, right by the Braves' bullpen, and heard the taunts.
"You're stupid!"
"You're a racist bigot."
"Go home, loser."
It didn't help, of course, that Fransko grabbed his black marker, flipped the sign around, and wrote: "I Believe In You. You Are MY FAVORITE."
The sign now can be found on the wall in Fransko's bedroom. Rocker walked over and autographed the sign after the game, signed Fransko's baseball, and spent nearly a minute chatting with him.
"I felt like a young girl who just met Elvis," Fransko said. "I told him, "I'm glad you're back. Hang in there."
Said Rocker: "He was a pretty cool guy. I wanted to tell him I appreciated his support, too."
So, does Fransko already have his tickets and a new poster ready for the four-game series at Shea Stadium?
"No, I'm not crazy," Fransko said. "I wouldn't go to New York with a sign. You kidding me?
"I'd be killed."
"One cannot answer for his courage when he has never been in danger."
Braves veteran starter Tom Glavine wears a T-shirt emblazoned with those words. Perhaps he could make 24 others and pass them around to Rocker and the rest of the team.
"We�ve got to remember that we�re going to New York to play the Mets. There�s no reason to get distracted by any other stuff." - Veteran starter Terry Mulholland
THE METS and Major League Baseball plan to hire several hundred extra security folks for the four-game series. Kevin Hallinan, baseball's security chief, has been planning for this series for months. It's not that he's anticipating that anything will go wrong, but he wants to be ready for anything. Rocker might say he isn't frightened for his own safety, but there still is the fear of the unknown that permeates the Braves' clubhouse.
"I think about it all the time," said Braves third baseman Chipper Jones. "You don't know what's going to happen. How easy would it be for someone to sneak something into any stadium and do something crazy?
"You've got to be concerned. This thing keeps festering and festering."
The Braves say there will be extra security at their midtown hotel as well. The lobby usually is protected at night, but now perhaps more precautions will be taken, such as requiring that everyone in the lobby be a hotel guest.
"We have our eyes open," said John Schuerholz, Braves executive vice president. "Everybody says to me, you can expect something,' because New York is New York. But I don't think this deserves any more attention. There's more important things in life than what was said six months ago."
Said Braves manager Bobby Cox: "Believe me, I think everything will be fine. Those fans are great. People act like they're a bunch of murderers or something. It's ridiculous."
Besides, as the Braves will tell you, they have more important things to worry about than the commotion surrounding Rocker.
They have a ninth consecutive division title to shoot for, and once again, the Mets are the only team that can stand in their way.
THE BRAVES (42-26) limped into the week with a four-game lead over the Mets, talking about their need for another starter and hoping to soon acquire Andy Ashby from the Phillies. The Braves have been beat up with shortstop Rafael Furcal on the DL, Chipper Jones playing with a bad elbow and Jordan hampered by a bad knee. The bullpen has been thrown into disarray ever since Rudy Seanez went down for the year with a torn elbow ligament. And, of course, they're playing all year without dependable starter John Smoltz.
Nothing would restore their confidence more than a victory tour through New York.
"Maybe it's good to go to New York now - maybe the timing is perfect," said veteran starter Terry Mulholland. "Maybe this is what Rock needs to get locked in. Because when Rock is right, there's no better guy out there.
"We've got to remember that we're going to New York to play the Mets. There's no reason to get distracted by any other stuff."
Said four-time Cy Young winner Greg Maddux: "I really think guys are looking forward to it. Those are fun games. You enjoy that atmosphere. You enjoy playing in those games with electricity in the air.
"Let's put it this way: These will be more meaningful games than any other we'll be playing in June."
And for some of the guys, well, it'll be just like old times.
"Why would I dread it?" outfielder Bobby Bonilla asked. "I got booed 81 home games a year when I played there. What's another four games? I heard my name with every F-bomb possible. It never bothered me.
"It'll be the same for Rocker. They might be booing him, but there won't be a person booing him who wouldn't want to trade places with him."
"There�s no question some umps have got it out for him." - Pitcher, requesting anonymity.
IT'S EARLY Sunday evening. The Braves have just beaten the Phillies 5-3, ending a three-game losing streak. And guess who's the hero? Rocker, serenaded by a chorus of boos, was summoned into the game after a 35-minute rain delay in the eighth inning. This was his first appearance since throwing six consecutive balls and being yanked three days ago.
The first pitch was a 94-mph fastball that Desi Relaford took for a strike. The second was a 95-mph fastball over the plate.
"That's when I knew he was back," Braves pitching coach Leo Mazzone said. "It's just what I wanted to see, for him to have command of that fastball. When he has command of that fastball, everything kicks in for him."
Relaford was overmatched. He struck out three pitches later, hopelessly late on a 95-mph fastball. The crowd jeered. And Rocker slowly walked to the dugout, staring into the crowd with a smug look on his face.
He came out for the ninth, and this was the big test. He had to finish them off to establish himself once again as the Braves' closer. The Braves, still not trusting that Rocker's control woes were over, had Bruce Chen and Jason Marquis warming up in the bullpen.
Ron Gant went down swinging on a 95-mph fastball. Doug Glanville went down swinging on an 81-mph slider. Scott Rolen flew out on a 97-mph fastball.
Just like that: Zero hits, zero walks and three strikeouts in 1 1/3 scoreless innings. Rocker is back.
"That was big, that was huge," Braves catcher Javy Lopez says. "We needed the win, but more important, we needed Rocker."
The Braves, who sent Rocker to the minors for a brief eight-day stint that was shortened when Seanez blew out his elbow, insist their concerns over Rocker were exaggerated. This wasn't a case of Mark Wohlers forgetting how to throw to the same area code. This was Rocker just missing within the strike zone, with his confidence waning with each appearance.
Then again, it isn't as if Rocker has had a whole lot of help behind the plate, either, the Braves say. They can count at least two pitches a game this year where Rocker threw a strike that wasn't called. And if it's a borderline pitch, it routinely has been called a ball.
"It's like he's Public Enemy No. 1," Chipper Jones says, "and everyone wants to stick it to him. They haven't given him the benefit of the doubt all year. Nobody's giving him a break behind the plate.
"You wonder if they ever will."
Says one pitcher, who requested anonymity: "There's no question some umps have got it out for him. I mean, there was a ball he threw the other night that was right down the middle. It split the plate in half. And it was called a ball.
"It's like they're sending a message, just like they did with (Roberto) Alomar. It's like they're doing everything they can to break him."
Rocker realizes that this is a losing battle. He acknowledges that he has thrown some pitches that normally are called for strikes, but it makes no sense to get into a war of words. He has gotten himself in too much trouble with his mouth to start baiting the umpires now.
He instead wants to believe that all of his problems will go away. He finally corrected his mechanical flaw in his minor-league stay, saying the problem involved a weight shift, failing to turn his hip properly in his delivery. He also has been plagued by a nasty callus on his left thumb that frequently splits, causing severe pain the first 10 or 12 pitches.
"Every time I pitch, the ball is covered in blood," Rocker says. "I had it some last year, too, but this has gotten progressively worse. I've even tried to superglue it, but it always splits again anyway. Besides, that stuff probably isn't real good to get into your bloodstream.
"I've just got to pitch with it, and not be so tentative with it. You can't pitch like that. The worst thing you can be in this game is timid."
And trust him, Rocker isn't about to start being shy in New York. He is ready to come in with his nostrils flaring, eyes wildly blinking and shoulders twitching, reminding the Mets just who knocked them off last year in the NLCS.
"You ask me, and they shouldn't have messed with the team they had," Rocker says. "They had a good thing going. Oh well, better for us."
Rocker laughed. It was starting to get late. He finished dressing, went back to the team hotel, picked up Staci, and off they went in a black stretch limousine to spend the evening in Atlantic City.
John Rocker, for at least a night, felt right back on top of the world.
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