Excerpts from Peter Gammons' interview with John Rocker
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Gammons: Have you sat back and thought "How'd I get into this mess?"
Rocker: Yeah, it's gone through my mind a few times.
Gammons: You have never said you didn't say what was in the Sports Illustrated article. Can you explain the context of all of that?
Rocker: I think I have been definitely grossly misrepresented and that's really the hardest thing, despite the fact the comments really offended a lot of people and that certainly wasn't my intent. . . . I think a lot of people - including yourself - may say things we really don't mean and most of us have the luxury to come back, pull the person aside they've offended and say, "I'm sorry, my words got ahead of my head and I apologize."
Unfortunately for me, I said it in front of someone with a tape recorder and pen and paper working and I said things I that [don't] cross my mind on a consistent basis. It doesn't cross my mind period. . . . I shot my mouth off and said a few things that's absolutely not me. If you hit one home run in the major leagues, it doesn't make you a home-run hitter, and if you make one offhanded comment like this without thinking . . . [that] doesn't make you a racist.
Gammons: Have you thought about if you read this story and if it had been [about] somebody else and you heard some of the comments: "Taking the 7 train, looking like you're going though Beirut with some kid with purple hair . . . with the AIDS right next to you, 20-year-old mom with four kids. I'm not a big fan of foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square without hearing a word of English. The Koreans, the Vietnamese, blah, blah." What would you think about that person?
Rocker: I would think this guy is a complete jerk. Who in the hell does he think he is mouthing off like this? What kind of experiences does he have to talk from? And if I could just take a second - it's not going to justify my comments by any means, because I will reiterate and apologize again to anyone I have offended. . . . I'm a kind of guy who likes to be accepted. I like to be around friends, I like to socialize. I'm a big-time extrovert and I think I'm pretty outgoing and the last thing I want to do is to offend people and ostracize myself from people. . . .
Gammons: You're being called a racist, Timothy McVeigh, a redneck, a bigot.
Rocker: The redneck I won't deny.
Gammons: Are you a racist?
Rocker: I think I've made myself pretty clear. Absolutely not. If I were a racist, A, would I want a black guy to come into my house? B, would I invite him to my house? I've done that three times over. We have a segment of comments made in the process of remembering some pretty harsh things that were done to you, like seeing the likes of you beaten with a baseball bat. . . . Looking back, I probably should have distinguished those comments a little better, but I was riding down the road with this reporter and the only question he asked me was "What do you think about the people of New York?" . . . Immediately I remember back to me coming off the field at Shea Stadium, saying to the fans "I just struck out your best hitter." And as I looked down to watch my step, a fan spit square in my face. . . .
During the regular season at Shea back in September, I was on the bullpen mound and a guy dumped three-quarters of a stale beer on me and I have to go in the game and pitch with the smell of stale beer all over my uniform. In Yankee Stadium, getting ready to pitch in the World Series, a guy hit me right in the back with a battery. What if that hit me right in the head? Concussion? Stitches? Who knows?
To tell the truth, I just lost my cool. . . . I looked over to the reporter and said "Those people were trying to inflict physical pain on me by throwing batteries. I'm going to use this time to retaliate."
I'm not making excuses. . . . All I can do is apologize and offer my deepest regrets, but I saw that as a forum to try to retaliate at all the wrong and injustice that had been done toward me and a lot of my teammates, and it went a little too far. I tried to inflict some emotional pain and I admit, I said some things I shouldn't have said.
Gammons: The one thing that has bothered people the most . . . is the reference to a teammate as a "fat monkey." Can you explain that?
Rocker: We talk about this a bunch. About people who aren't in the big leagues and not understanding clubhouse humor. This wasn't a black guy. It was a Latin player who I consider to be a good friend. . . . I've said it to his face in the past and he'll fire with this, that or the other and we'll laugh about it. . . . I let a reporter in on an aspect of clubhouse humor and he took it literally.
The people who know me best - the Braves management, the Braves players - know I'm not like that. . . . They were astonished and wondering what did this come from? They had never seen this side of me before and I said, "Yeah, I got a little out of hand."
To my teammates, the Braves front office and everyone affiliated with the Braves, I sincerely apologize for all the hype and embarrassment I've caused, but in the same respect that they know me well enough . . . to know I'm not like this.
Gammons: Do you think your life will ever be the same again?
Rocker: Sure
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