Urban Stealth Cruiser Suspended Indefinitely!

By the High Commander

6/3/02

Yesterday the Sasquatch Militia suffered a serious blow. The Urban Stealth Cruiser and the Secretary of Commerce were suspended pending an investigation. The door of the Stealth Cruiser was left open by the clumsy Secretary of Commerce. Mike’s mother then stopped him dead in his tracks and he will not be able to provide transportation for the Militia for quite a while. We would feel sorry for him, but he is such a complete idiot that he deserved the punishment he received. The Sasquatch Militia is conducting a private investigation, to see if the Secretary of Commerce did this by accident, or if it was planned! Since the Secretary has a past history of brainwashing by the N.W.O., we will have an extensive investigation.

        Furthermore, the Sasquatch Militia was hit with another serious blow when Chett was hit by a member of the N.W.O. in the official van of the Sasquatch Militia. Chett’s license was then suspended, so for now the Sasquatch Militia will be conducting operations on foot. But don’t loose hope! The Secretary General will be taking his license test next week, and we hope to have transportation restored then. Unless he gets placed with a pro-N.W.O. member for his evaluation. We’ve got our fingers crossed, and you better too, or else we will cross them for you, because the Secretary General needs all the help and luck he can get.