Star Wars: A Positive Influence on sasquatch values?

5/11/2002 By: The High Commander of All Forces

I’m sure we are all familiar with the popular movie trilogy of the 1970’s. But most of us don’t realize that it was good publicity for saquatch rights and interaction with humans. Chewbacca and Han Solo were the perfect example of sasquatch-human cooperation to accomplish a greater goal. Granted, Chewbacca obviously should have been the Captain of the Millennium Falcon with Han as First Mate, since Chewy did most of the work anyway. But the two still formed a great example of sasquatch-human relations. Our Human-Sasquatch Liaison Commander informs me that the Ewoks also bear a similar resemblance to the baby sasquatch. The Ewoks are exactly like midgets are to humans. They just lack the incredible height chromosome that most sasquatch possess. If this is true, another great example of human-sasquatch relations is presented in the popular trilogy. They helped win the war for the rebels and deserved more credit and commemoration. Also on a side note, to our first, and currently only excommunicated member of the militia, you are now currently enemy number one of the militia until we find some sas-haters to start crap with; and you’re gay, according to our Human-Sasquatch Liaison Officer.