Assasination Attempt Barely Fails!

6/11/2002

Today, as members of the Sasquatch Militia celebrated the end of the School year, A NWO zealot attempted to assasinate the Secretary of Love and Environmental Affairs Brock, as he sat in homeroom, meditating on the virtues of peace and equality. An unidentified zealot tossed a package of blackcats in the direction of Brock, in an attempt to slay the Secretary. Brock, due to his extensive counter-assasination training in the Sasquatch Militia, narrowly avoided death, by moving away from the bomb. The NWO infiltration alarm sounded and students quickly evacuated away from the school. The perpetrater attempted to escape the scene but was quickly apprehended and disposed of by a pro-Sasquatch Militia police officer (A rare breed.). Brock was emotionally scared but suffered no bodily harm. Brock is in a local Sasquatch Militia hospital and is recovering from his emotional trauma. He is expected to be released within days, and will continue his personal quest for acceptance by the non-sasquatch majority.

All cards and memorials can be mailed directly to the hospital, care of the Sasquatch Militia.