"I'll Take You Home, I'll Feed You!"
Lil Rob makes sensational speech to the homeless of Maplewood!
July 11th 2002
Speeking before all 4 of the homeless people who live in Maplewood, Lil Rob, The Secretary General of The Sasquatch Militia, made a historical speech in which he promised to use the collective force of the Militia to combat the scourge of Homelessness that has recently been resurfacing in Maplewood! He pledged to use "Every available facet of the Militia to extirpate the pestilence of Homelessness" and pledged to build 1 new home to house the four Homeless people! "Until that time, I promise that not one of you will go hungry, not one of you will be hurt, not one of you will sleep on a bus bench which smells funny... I will take you home, I will feed you!' Lil Rob stated as the crowd erupted with a swell of appreciation and hope, something new for the homeless of Maplewood! Among other Highlights -
A game of pin the tail on the intolerant Jackal was played, No one could pin the tail, because intolerant Jackals don't have tails, only greed and lust, something that quickly became evident to all participants.
Free apples and jolly ranchers were given to all the homeless people in attendence, they were to say the least, grateful.
Autographs were given out by the Secretary General, but the masses couldn't read tibetanese scratches and quickly became pugnacious toward the Sasquatch Militia.
No attempted assasinations against members of the Sasquatch Militia were reported - A first.
Neil Diamond once again declined our invitation to be photographed with The Secretary of Commerce. "Who is this guy, and why won't he leave me alone?" Neil Diamond was quoted with saying.
No homeless people actually wanted the Jolly Ranchers, instead they wanted affordable housing, free health care, a car, new TV, and a pair of pants which don't smell like "human crap". A second chance to rectify past mistakes was also requested and denied by an intolerant society fixed and predicated on hate, violence, and avarice. The Sasquatch Militia wishes to change this society into a Tolerancia, but Society and the NWO have yet to accept our gracious offer to peacefully desist their intolerant ways.