Ananova - 'Monkey man' reports spread fear in Indian state

Anti-Hominoid feelings run rampant in India. India, A staunchly pro-Human country, has outrightly condemned the tails of the Monkeyman as simply myths and hoax's. Who does this remind you of? Perhaps their pro-intolerance allies in North America? Why does the simple fact that Sasquatches exist, and are being worshipped scarring so many humans? I mean really, Sasquatches are godly creatures - Athletic, intellegent, moral, and astute, they represent a beacon of light and truth in a dark and unknown world. Where the evil face of intolerance walks and stalks the souls of men. Why can't we simply be more Sasquatch-Like and follow the simple laws of nature. Which are the bigger, stronger, and smarter you are, the better chance you'll have of surviving in this extrememly intolerant world! But we don't, we believe the intolerant propaganda of the Plutocracy. We believe that Humans are always the smartest, brightest, and most articulate of the hominoid species and thus are entitled to special treatment and protection under their system of government, which by the way, were stolen from ancient Sasquatch democratic traditions and others based on the barter economy of ancient Sasquatch city-states along the pacific, in the northwestern United States. It's time we awaken to the reality of the situation. Which is quite simply that Humans have stolen almost every single Sasquatch Invention and have used them to further their own diabolical and extremely deceptive pro-bigotry paradigms of government and economy.

The Sasquatch Militia Responds, The Official reaction of the Sasquatch Militia. This refutation of anti-monkeyman feelings in India, is meant to convey the Sasquatch Militia's beliefs about the current Crisis and was written by the Minister of Propaganda as an official press release.

This is available for public reproduction and distrubution to all members of the worldwide hominoid community.

Ananova:

'Monkey man' reports spread fear in Indian state

Reports of a 'monkey man' in India have reappeared a year after panic over the mystery creature hit the capital, Delhi.

What the mysterious monkey man might look like (AP)

The current reports are from the northern state of Bihar's Jehanabad, Rohatas, Ara and Patna districts.

The Dainik Ujala newspaper says several residents claim they've been bitten or scratched by a "black monkey with coloured lights flashing from its eyes."

Patna's superintendent of police O N Bhaskar is dismissing the reports, saying they are down to someone's overactive imagination.

Prabhakar Mishra, a priest at a Shiva temple, said: "It looks like Hanuman (the Hindu monkey god) is angry."

He added: "I have asked visitors to offer prayers to him seven times a day to protect themselves."

But Mr Bhaskar said: "There is no real evidence of any monkey being involved in the attacks. We will not hesitate to take tough action against people who are spreading baseless rumours"

Resident Pawan Kumar Niyogi who was sleeping on the terrace of his house claims he was attacked by "a 5ft-tall monkey-like animal."

He said: "I was terrified and thought my life was going to end but it merely scratched me on the shoulder before jumping off the roof."

People who normally sleep in the open are now staying in their homes while groups of residents carrying torches are keeping night-time vigils on the streets. Many residents are beginning to monitor the daily activities of their children as well.