Mission to Moon Planned for 2004!
July 18th 2002
Hoping to reclaim lost scientific knowledge, the Sasquatch Militia has announced plans to send a Sasquatch to the Moon in 2004. The Admiral of Naval Forces Tim, and the High Commander of All Forces Kyle, are working together to formulate ideas and paradigms for a possible moon landing in 2004, if all goes according to plans. We believe the moon would be the perfect bulwark against the intolerant governments of the world who seek to colonize the moon, for their own greedy motivations. The bumptious plans of the pro-intolerance nations of the world would limit access to the moon to seven countries, which control the world's wealth, also known as the Plutocracy! They attempt to formulate ideas based simply on the prolix usage of sesquipedalian propaganda, which because it's complex, the uneducated intolerant rabble of the world perceive it as being truth.
As any student of History realizes, the genesis of the space program was pioneered by Sasquatches! The first animal to be sent into space was not a chimpanzee, it was a Sasquatch. The picture of this first astronaut is clearly a Sasquatch of Pacific Northwestern stalk! But the anti-Sasquatch majority clearly deny this fact for a simple reason - The Sasquatch sent into space had designed and conceptualized the entire spacecraft, which was later used to send him to a slow, painful death! That's right, Sasquatches, not humans, were the leading scientists of the early space program. But powerful anti-tolerance bigots were committed to not allowing this and other pro-tolerance Sasquatches to get credit for their achievements.
"It would have lead to a full tolerance amnesty for Sasquatches and public acceptance of their plight. Once the public knew that Sasquatches could fully contribute to a Space Program, their would be no possible justification for the continued oppression of this peculiar species of hominoids" John F. Kennedy May 1962, his personal memoirs.
As we can clearly see, intolerant people in high levels of government are committed to silencing the truth about Sasquatches and concealing their secrets, attributing Sasquatch achievements and inventions to such people as Thomas Edison, Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, and Robert Oppenheimer, to name a few.
It's time that Sasquatch claim what is rightfully theirs - Space! The moon will be just the beginning of the assault on intolerant assets in the heavenlies. Soon the Sasquatch Militia will have full hegemony over our galaxy, and the entire Universe! The moon represents a vital bulwark against intolerant countries of the world, who wish to colonize it as a 'Sasquatch Free' zone. Instead we plan to institute a 'intolrance free' colony on the moon. One where only the voices of peace, love, tolerance, sapience, and equality are heard. No longer will the cocophony of intolerance have special access to the masses. Finally a world of tolerance, equality, and love, that we all can appreciate! Space represents the final frontier. But do we want the intolerant plutocracy to control it? Or the Brotherhood of Tolerance?