Dariette or Mind Control Facility?

The Truth behind the alleged restaurant near Harding High School!

June 9 2002

For several months the Sasquatch Militia has been evaluating the Dariette, located on Minnehaha street only a couple of blocks away from impressionable teens, and determining if it was a threat, after a long and tedious investigation we have concluded that it is indeed a Federalist mind control epicenter and training facility. Here are some of the reports findings and the investigation's highlights.

Circa May 15 - Undercover operatives from the Sasquatchh Militia are hired to work at the Dariette as car girls, the person who brings the food to the cars, even though they are males. We found this highly suspicious and continued with our investigation.

Circa May 24 - The Sasquatch Militia strikes at the Darriette with its official Van. Promoting a message of tolerance and equality by dumping several pounds of garbage and annoying everyone in sight. The mission was accomplished, but not without casualties. Our undercover operative reports back to us that the mission was a success and the facilities morale was dessimated. Our response was "Awesome! We kick ass"

Circa May 30 - The Sasquatch Militia returns to strike again on Foot, eating inside the restaurant. Members managed to infiltrate the bathrooms and annoy a large group of private school kids with messages of tolerance and equality (They thought it was annoying, but we do not believe tolerance and equality are annoying, their scrumptous if anything!)

June 2nd - The Sasquatch Militia strikes a final tiime by yelling messages of tolerance into the speakers. Some members got a little carried away and yelled things such as "The redcoats are coming." "The red coats are coming and their wearing blue coats, ohh no!" and "Good morning how are you?" The operation was a complete success and the Dariette was almost completely annhilated."

The Sasquatch Militia will continue to propagate and promulgate tolerance and equality at all costs and will continue to chip away at the intolerance of the Dariette until it is forced to cease operations. You can do your part by stopping there often, eating, and yelling words of encouragement into the speakers. We suggest the following lines "Thank you for the great food, you intolerant Sasophobes!" If you feel compelled you may also yell "Burn in hell Yeti-Haters" or "Screw you tumbleweed, you aint blowing your message of intolerance past my Wyatt Earp!".