Sasquatch Militia Expands Cavalry!

By The High Commander

6/2/2002

Sasquatch Militia Secretary of Commerce, Mike, has recently expanded the cavalry of the Sasquatch Militia by passing his driver’s test! Surprisingly, and just barely, the Secretary of Commerce received his Minnesota Driver’s Test, and now is the proud owner of the Urban Stealth Cruiser (Or the Shit-Mobile as we here at the Sasquatch Militia affectionately call it.) So N.W.O. beware this 1989 Toyota Corolla is rearin’ to go (it runs, and that’s about all we can expect.) This gem of a car is complete with a dying battery, no stereo, and, get this, barely working power windows and locks, which by the way, DON’T WORK! With this high-powered new force at the disposal of the Militia, the N.W.O. will surely crumble. Skeptics don’t worry; the Urban Stealth Cruiser has been debugged and is safe to ride in.

     Now the Sasquatch Militia can travel quickly to local businesses and malls, promoting the love and tolerance towards Sasquatch. We have planned several Special Forces Missions to the Darriette and other small N.W.O. operations. There will also be a small, exclusive christening party on Wednesday, June 4 at 6:00 P.M. None of you losers are invited.