10 signs your Child is a Homicidal Sasophobe!
August 19th 2002!
There is a depressed demographic of teenagers who are sick, sadistical, homicidal and live their lives predicated upon Sasophobia, and its hateful doctrine of malice and violence. They are secluded from the rest of society by a thick canapace of seclusion and Sasophobia. Their fruits are violence and destruction and their impetus is the utter hatred for all things Sasquatch. Here are ten signs which members of SMU compiled to help you understand, spot, and preclude Sasophobia in your teenaged son or daughter. Sasophobia is a one way ticket to destruction and is deleterious to all affected by its evil stain.
1. Your child spends an exorbitant amount of time secluded in their room. When isolated from society, they develop twisted notions and premonitions, among those include the fallacious assertion that Sasquatches want to gain control of government and pass laws and levies which persecute the child and his friends from forming 'Metallica posies'. They fall to realize that Sasquatches don't wish to dominate government or meddle in the affairs of nations. They desire a homeland, where their perception of a moral government can be instituted. Avoiding self-indoctrination is one of the best ways to combat this 'sign' of Sasophobia in your teen.
2. Your child has a Sasquatch Dart Board. A prime marketing tool of the NWO, this dartboard is passed on as an entertainment option and necessity, complemented by a unique Sasquatch face which constitutes its background. A bullseye is when you hit the Sasquatch in the heart, a double twenty for decapitating an arm, and a half bullseye for punctuaring a lung. Many lunatical youngsters who have been convicted of hate crimes against Sasquatches owned one of these boards, and they were overused, with holes all over the Sasquatch dart board. Avoiding games and tricks which target the destruction a Sasquatch is a warning to parents that your child is preparing to vent his anti-Sasquatch hostility, either against himself, tolerant humans, or Sasquatches themselves.
3. You Child worships the achievements of humanity! He or she ignores the accomplishments of Sasquatches, which are great and many, and passes them off as inventions of humans, which Sasquatches stole and patented for themselves. This historical revisionism is the leading factor of educational ignorance amongst our youth today. Sasquatches on average score 70 better on the SAT's then non-sasquatches do. They have bigger heads, and thus bigger mental aptitude. Parents must stop youth from believing that Sasquatches are 'vile, bloodsucking creatures of the night'.
4. Your Child has been captured on video vandalizing Sasquatch Habitat and/or property. Many anti-Sasquatch expantionists believe that violence against property which doesen't harm innocent Sasquatches is a moral way to deprive Sasquatches of their territory, thus forcing them back into the forests, away from humans, work, and a decent life. But property is a part of the person, it represents their work, acheivements, and is an investment of the persons time, destroying property is destroying hard work, and destroying the Sasquatch.
5. Your child ascribes to the false theory that Sasquatches are 'under evolved primates, perhaps the missing link, and ultimately inferior to humans, in every way, cept physically.' This pseudo-scientific theory is rooted in the writings of Darwin in which he wrote "My theory is unsubstantiated without transitional fossils." Humans of the era quickly needed something from which they evolved, believing they were the highest and most advanced form of evolution. But new scientific breakthroughs at Sasquatch Militia University have proven this antiquated theory wrong. Their research concluded that Sasquatches were 'equal in intelligence, more advanced in most cases, and physically larger. Thus putting to end the long held belief in human superiority. If anything humans are the 'under evolved primates' and need Sasquatches to sustain civilization.
6. Your child listens to 'anti-Sasquatch death music'. This cacophony of vituperation was inspired by the 1970's 'shock rock' and gives the youth of the world a constant source of anti-Sasquatch hate speech.
7. Your Child wakes you up in the middle of the night, by attempting to strangle you, because he is being mind-raped by the NWO, and thinks your a Sasquatch. This is the last stage of anti-sasquatchism before an attack against Sasquatches or their allies begin.
8. Your child has lost interest in sports and spends a majority of their time engaged in planning attacks against Sasquatch property. Your child is a terrorist mastermind by this point, and only the anti-mind raping venom, which is sold by the Sasquatch Militia, can save him from complete annihilation.
9. Your child has experienced a massive weight gain and looks like a fat whale. The direct correlation between this and Sasophobia has yet to be determined by Scientists. Many believe its because food is tainted with pro-NWO propaganda and serves to liquefy the moral conscience of the host, in an attempt to convert them to intolerance.
10. Your Child wears an 'I hate the Sasquatch Militia' T-shirt. Such behavior isn't worthy of an explanation.
Sasophobia is the inordinate fear of Sasquatches. It is a virulent disease which isn't predicated on moral conviction, rather sustained by lack thereof. If your child needs anti-intolerance shock treatment, please contact the Sasquatch Militia and we will straighten them out.