The Sasquatch Militia Strikes Again!

8/9/2002

The NWO had been anticipating, planning, and conceptualizing, trying to decipher where and when we would strike again. The NWO was beginning to panic, they knew we would strike again soon, but where and why remained as elusive as the arc of the covenant. The NWO was baffled, but the Sasquatch Militia was planning and soon they would strike.

Which brings us to Sunray Lanes, the latest and one of the most frequent victims of Sasquatch Militia strikes! Last night, as they begin to brace themselves for closing, last minute preparations where just being completed, they were anticipating a quiet night. Well all of that changed! At around 9 o'clock the Sasquatch Militia, burst thru the doors, having traveled via the crapmobile, from the four corners of Saint Paul, they came. Extemporaneous plaudits erupted from fans, wannabes, and others. The Sasquatch Militia had arrived and were ready to strike, after a month of being idle, waiting for the NWO to lose interest.

"Do you guys want a lane?" asked one of the employee's. "No we just showed up for no reason we don't want to bowl!" yelled the Secretary of Commerce, as the employee, looked around, obviously embarrassed. She had been defeated and we all knew it. No longer would the venomous words of intolerance, hatred, and viciousness, spew forth from her.

"Give us two lanes, league style, now, you infidel!" the Secretary General managed to vociferate, thru the Megaphone. The employee quickly tallied up the total and assigned us lanes 5 and 6, which were conveniently located near a group of intolerant teenagers, who were celebrating the anniversary of birth of one of their friends. Being the cordial, friendly, and ebullient people we are, we sang happy birthday, with help from our newest weapon, the Megaphone (Please capitalize it, for it is a venerable object, worthy of your reverance).

Now it was nearing 10 0'clock, and Mike realizing that darkness was upon us, was forced to evacuate the premises, and flee via the crapmobile to his palace, located in southern Wales. "Crap, I'm out a 1.50$ on the bowling!" Mike exclaimed as he exited. Obviously he was angry over his non-lucrative employement at the Dariette, which is closer to slave labor, then it is an actual paying job.

Now the time was approaching 11 p.m CST and we were just beginning to have fun, when one of the NWO secret agents showed up. He is their number one bowler and was equipped with a secret weapon, the likes of which we are unlikely to ever see again.

His bowling bowl was rather peculiar, as was he. It was around 400 pounds, shaped like a box, had wheels, and covered the entire width of the lane! "This is worth 40,000 dollars, way more then your life!" he exclaimed several times! We foolishly challenged him to a best of 10 test of bowling, which he eagerly accepted. Using his secret weapon he easily defeated us 300 to 172, but he had a hell of a time dragging his 400 pound ball back up the lane, and that was just about as good as victory for us!

As we exited the building, we yelled pro-tolerance, pro-love, pro-freedom, mantras through our newest weapon, the Megaphone. The NWO will surely never be the same after this latest strike, I guarantee it, but there's still no refunds!

RECAP!

Dave (Fuc Yu) bowled four consecutive strikes, and four consecutive gutter balls as well!

Brock (Hey would you blow me) bowled strong, and won 10$ in a bet with the Secretary General!

Bobby (Maor Pimp not Payne) bowled, because girls just wanna have fun!

John (Regular Pimp) Had the highest overall score.

Kyle (The peni mighti) Bowled the double bounce, skip skip, stop whining and foolishly challenged the NWO's best bowler!

Mike (Mike Hunt) bowled in the low hundreds (His cumulative score for 3 games!) Passed up Chett, for second worst bowler in the Militia!