Megaphone (We got one) Finally you can hear us!

August 14th 2002!

Today is a day of joy and festivities, the Sasquatch Militia has developed a new weapon, with the help of Radio Shack, which will surely cause the NWO to revise its strategy in countertolerance operations! This weapon, which the Sasquatch Militia put lots of capital and defense spending into, is known as a megaphone, because of its ability to amplify sound waves and perform other vital pro-tolerance tasks. Radio Shack, our newest corporate sponsor and partner in the war on Intolerance, has been working on this new technology for several months, and on Friday, after years of arduous labor, the Megaphone was ready for usage. The best Scientists at SMU were working morning and afternoon, to complete this massive operation in scientific ingenuity, which was comparable to the 'manhattan project' which helped the US create her first Atomic Bomb.

The Sasquatch Militia wasted no time applying this new technology and decided to enact plans to strike at a phantasmagoria of local pro-NWO establishments and people. They include, but are not limited too -

* Suburban Macdonalds - Serving intolerance, targeting young consumers with meals called 'Happy Meals'. They weren't too happy when we showed up! One of their employee's is a Sasquatch Militia ally, and fellow Harding Student. He is currently spying on corporate maleficence inside Macdonalds, and will issue a formal report soon.

* Disoriented Cross Country Skiers - Attempting to ski in the Middle of Summer? What kind of drugs has the NWO given them? This people exemplify the need for everyone to wear Aluminum Deflector Foil Beanies, and stay away from mind-control substances.

*Young Children - The NWO'S best friend. Brainwashed from birth by Daycare centers, grandma's, schools, and churches, they know nothing besides intolerance, and are pious toward the quest for total NWO hegemony. If you cannot fully complete the mission, flee quickly, before they have a 'hissy fit' or 'temper tantrum'.

*Young Children on Bikes - Capable of delivering vital NWO communications, and performing other duties. They can barely outrun the Crapmobile, but I must stress barely. Young Children on Bikes with training wheels are still in training and should only be used as an ancillary target, if fully functional two-wheeled operatives are not to be found.

* People unfortunate enough to get in our way - Most likely NWO operatives or sympathizers, deserving of their harsh treatment, at the hands of the Megaphone. Why else would they be outside after 6 p.m walking around? Their is no excuse for such blatantly pro-NWO behaviour.

* Sunray Bowling Alley - Staffed by life-members in the Cult of Death and destruction, known also as the NWO. The Alley is owned by the Intolerant Opulent class, and staffed by their henchmen. Recently, the Sasquatch Militia has been treated with more and more hostility, perhaps a sign that the NWO has once again manifested itself nearby. They may have been probed seven or more times by the NWO.

As you can see, if you fit into one of the following categories, you are at risk for a possible Sasquatch Militia attack, at the hands of our newest weapon. Please cease and desist in your quest to eliminate dissent and tolerance, and maybe you'll be spared from our pernicious attack against you and your assets.

No longer will the NWO and their human allies be capable of silencing the silent majority, we have a voice, and we will articulate and vociferate a message of peace, tolerance, love and environmental consciousness. Its time we hurt the NWO where it hurts most, in the ears! The words of intolerance which the NWO has uttered for decades through TV, Radio, and loudspeaker have proven to be effective. But when the masses finally hear a new message, one which is appealing, proggressive, and liberating, undoubtedly they will choose the latter and side with the Sasquatch Militia.