Special Liason to become Secretary of Doom!
August 17th 2002!
The Special Liaison, a man of deep conviction and an original oligarchy member has decided its time to move on, and the Hierarchy will vote at our upcoming conference about this and other matters. The Special Liaison may be replaced by Dave, who will fill the vacancy as the Minister of Tolerance, a post that will serve to communicate with the non-human diplomats who may wish to work in an atmosphere of coexistence and tolerance.
The Minister of Tolerance will work amongst the humans, studying their ways, looking for weakness and for strength, determining when to strike, when to seek peace with those who want peace and tolerance, and when to retreat. This role, a role formerly done by the Special Liaison, will also serve as an Ambassador to the Human Leadership, such as Harding Administration, NATO (IF and WHEN we are admitted), United Nations (If and when we are admitted), and the United States President. He will be inducted into the membership after a vote of confirmation has transpired and will be ordained and sanctified by the Holy Phajer as the Minister of Tolerance.
The former Special Liaison, John, will become the Secretary of Doom, a new position which is responsible for coordinating strikes against pro-intolerance targets, as well as commanding the war effort in Iraq. Such operations against the Dariette, Harding, Sunray Bowling Alley, and other pro-intolerance organizations will be under his command, he is the Secretary of Doom and that is what he will bring, utter destruction and decimation, wherever it is required. This post is necessary because the list of targets is growing daily, with the NWO's perpetual desire for hegemony, new NWO territory in Battle Creek, Sunray, and in West Saint Paul must be halted and stopped immediately. If the NWO is allowed to gain influence in these communities, the rest of Saint Paul, the Stronghold of the Sasquatch Militia and its capital, may fall into NWO hands, leaving us without a capital and base for the coordination of pro-tolerance operations world wide.
The Secretary of Doom will be making a speech at our convention on August 25th about the best way to extirpate the NWO and to end their influence in our communities. His grassroots approach of reform, from the bottom up, involves coordinating and purveying supplies to local commanders and allowing them to counter the NWO in the way the deem most efficacious. The Hierarchy will be in charge of allocating such funds, in the form of weapons, technology, and naval ships. This speech will lay the foundation of what we believe to be the future in anti-intolerance operations, and set our course for 21st century success and ultimately victory.