Horse and Cat Mutilation claims are Erroneous!
July 9th 2003 By The Emperor General Lil Rob
Well Folks, the Human dominated Media is at it again, this time promoting the concept that Sasquatches are nothing more then hate filled exterminators out to destory life as we know it. This time they're attempting to bring the supposed 'Sasquatch Threat' to your home by propagating the myth that Sasquatches are 'Cat Killers' and 'Horse Haters'. While obviously false and worthy of condemnation from all sane Hominoids, they has been Little outrage about this media attack against our Sasquatch brothers.
Even the Center For Hominoid Justice, Which has been unofficially shut down for the summer by an attack originating from Harding High School, hasn't issued a sharp rebuke against this rancid hate attack.
The Sasquatch League of Cities has been silent. The Elders Council, SCOG, Cascadian Government, and the International Forum of Sasquatch Voices, has all been conspicously resigned. Have they succumbed to the Media and their powerful legions or is the backbone of these groups broken by years of frivolous lawsuits and fighting a seemingly uphill battle against those entrenched in lust and power?
Or has the NWO unleashed it's newest mind-control apparatus which has successfully conquered those groups who were disinclined to wear Aluminum Foil Deflector technology? The Groups listed above forgot Militia warnings about the depth and lethality of various rays, traps, and sonar bullets of hate, which seem to have conquered the mainstream Sasquatch groups.
Putting aside the imminent collapse of Sasquatch Civilization to cloned armies of the jingoistic portion of Humanity known as the N.W.O, Sasquatches could not have committed these vicious hate crimes against horses and cats. Contrary to popular belief, the recent Horse and Cat mutilations were not done by Sasquatches. First of all Sasquathces are not capable of harming another living creature, read Statue 723.18 in the Sasquatch Militia Code of Ethics. It strickly forbids aggressive behavior upon civilian populations and forbids any and all contact with Cats, Clowns, and Horses. *1*
While it is true that the Sasquatch Militia had ground units training in the region, they were not near the alleged crime spot, but enemy encampments line the streets of the crime zone.
The Attacks were most likely the work of the NWO, a surreptitious group of entrenched elitists who seek to undermine Sasquatch rights and accomplishments thru lies, terrorism, and mind-control.*2*
It is important that Sasquatches consider alternative forms of media instead of trusting the pretty human face on the T.V. Although some Sasquatches may be sexually attracted and or have an uncontrollable, borderline psychotic lust for various newsanchors, they should also try to safely moderate themselves and try coming to The Sasquatch Militia for all of their news, weather, and sports needs. Other wonderful, enlightened, and balanced sites include www.SasquatchIndoctrination.com, www.IlovetheSasquatchMilitia.com, www.Sasquatchpress.com, www.JointheSasquatchMilitiaTodayorelse.NET
Foot Notes
*1* Sasquatches are advised never to attempt to ride or use a horse for leverage in warfare against NWO agents. Horses are erratic at best and could be used by the genetically altered clone armies sent against Sasquatch Civilization.
*2* It is essential that the enemies of Sasquatch Liberation don't gain a massive grip over public opinion and dominate dialogue. If this occurs there will be no dialogue only a one party Authoritarian Warmongering State, which will use it's resources to bomb and plunder nations which diverge from their ways of thought. Signs of this are being pointed out at various Anti-War sights. Anti-Sasquatch activists are beginning to infest the government and through their sperm create the next generation of biologically enhanced super-killers. If these robotic hordes of hate are succesful in multiplying their mind-control base and expanding cloning technology to match the ever-expanding complexities of life, then their may soon be a cataclysmic battle between the Sasquatches and the Newest wave of cyborg technology.