Human Charged in Brutal Hit and Run!

January 15th 2002!

A human, named Jim "Sasquatch Killer" Urlecher was charged with Reckless Endangerment for allegedly hitting a Sasquatch and fleeing the scene. The Sasquatch apparantly was able to flee deep into the woods before dieing and investigators have yet to find his dead, decaying, and dehydrated cadaver.

The Washington State Bureau of Criminal apprehension has found and charged the perpatrator with Reckless Endangerment, claiming that "The alleged Sasquatch doesen't exist, this is a simple case of drunken driving. In accordance with the laws and customs of the United States of America, I will charge him with a D.W.I and Reckless Endangerment." Mitch Decateur, the police Spokesman for Olympia Country, Washington, said in a interview with the press.

The Cascadian paramilitary group known as the Sasquatch Militia, which claims the sovereign nation of Cascadia exists and has a functioning government in Cascadia City, was quick to speak out against the alleged attack. While such rhetoric is denounced as pure lunacy by 98% of people, they maintain they have the right to prosecute the driver according to Secretary of Peace Paul L. - "The Cascadian people are unambigously opposed to anti-Sasquatch hate crimes and the Cascadian Government will do its best to apprehend the criminal and bring him to justice."