State of the Militia Address!
2/20/2002

On February 20th 2002, The Sasquatch Militia gathered in the hall of Regions, and Lil Rob gave his biennial speech on the state of the Militia. Sitting in front of him were the House of Regionals, The Hierarchy, and members of the Militia. Behind him were situated the Supreme Commander and the Secretary of Peace. His speech focused almost entirely on foreign affairs, and the future of the Cascadian nation.

Thank you Mr. President (Sir Warner) of this venerable chamber from which tolerance and reform have spewed forth for centuries. (Applause).

There is sunshine in my soul today as I look out over the glorious Cascadian mountains. With their refulgent radiance of compassion, truth, equality and love for all nations, peoples, and tongues to imitate. (Applause)

I see a promising future of tolerance, love, and compassion. But only if we confront the problems of inequality and bigotry today, not tomorrow, not with other emperors and not with other faces. Only if we eliminate that scourge and plague, that pestilence, that insipid cause known as the quest for intolerance. (Applause)

We live in a world transformed since those miscreants of hate, destruction, and wrath perpetrated horrendous, callous, and inhumane acts of violence against innocent civilians on Sept. 11th 2002. (Applause)

Our hearts and prayers are with you, our memories are strong, and our resolve stronger! (Applause)

From the rubble of intolerance, we helped our American brothers and sisters reform and rebuild the city of New York, the District of Columbia, and the hearts of those afflicted indirectly by those who wish to enslave us! (Applause)

We sent supplies - timber, salmon, oats, love, compassion, and egalitarian reform headed towards New York. We also donated our time and resources to help raise American currency to help assuage the affliction of depression, sadness, and unhappiness. (Applause)

Having gathered our courage, found our resolve, and intent on justice, the nations of the world were determined to rid the world of international terrorism. We helped arrest some the more notorious eco-terrorists in the world, who were almost daily bombing our civilization back into the stone age. (Applause)

We also sent our Elite Shadow Force under the command of the Secretary of Doom (Lord Thorson) to dispatch, along with a coalition of pro-freedom forces, of the residual elements of Al-Qaeda and Taliban fugitives and murderers. (Applause) Thanks to their efforts, today Afghanistan is no longer a nation of thugs, terrorists, and oppressed people. It is free, free at last, thank God Almighty, free at last! (Applause)

The Shadow Force remains in Afghanistan today, along with their human counterparts, to serve the people, protect the people, and preserve their inherent value from those who would wish to debase hominoids and enslave them. (Applause)

But today, there is yet another brutal dictator, who oppresses his Sasquatch citizens, threatens his neighbors, and steals individual rights. He has oppressed the Kurdistan nation, a commonwealth comprised of Humans, Sasquatches, and Yeti's, and trapped their people in an endless cycle of violence, hatred, and despotism. His name is Saddam Hussein.

When we look at the world today, only the communist Chinese have brutalized hominoids worse. They oppress the native population of Tibet, exile their leader, and torture dissenters. Therefore we today urge the Chinese, leave Tibet now, let them live free. (Applause)

But Saddam Hussein must be brought to justice. His repeated indifference to demands that he let his people live free, disarm, or subject himself to free elections has repeatedly failed. He has disobeyed the world community for the last 12 years, and through it all has continued to oppress, oppress, oppress, and oppress. (Applause)

It's time to end this cycle of oppression, therefore we are supporting an international coalition, a quilt of different nations, peoples, and tongues to help liberate Kurdistan, Iraq, and the world from the murderous grip of Saddam Hussein. (Applause)

In his place will arise the true leader of a sovereign, free, and liberated Iraq - King Nebuchadnezzer, whose family had ruled Iraq with compassion, love, and egalitarianism for 2600 years, before the ascent of Saddam Hussein. May King Nebuchadnezzer rule with compassion, may he rule with love, and may he someday rule a free Iraq! (Applause)

The nation of Cascadia is proud, tolerant, and compassionate nation. We have no urge to fight, no desire for booty, for land, for treasure, or for empire. Only for Justice, and true reform. (Applause)

We will remain a strong nation so long as we continue promulgate and practice the values of self-reliance, hominoid dignity, and the sanctity of every hominoid. (Applause)

A great man once stood in this hall and offered a prayer. He prayed for a better world, a better day, and a better future. That man was Cas Scadia. He was the first leader of the free and independent states of the Pacific Northwest. Soon he forged a nation, and after he died fighting for its preservation, a grateful populace named their newly won nation after their greatest warrior, greatest leader, and greatest man. Let us not forget the legacy, value, and message behind Cas Scadia, and his vision of a free Cascadia, a better world, and a better day for all hominoids. (Applause)

May God bless you, and may He continue to bless the nation of Cascadia. (Applause)

And with a newfound hope, desire, and purpose, the Cascadian leaders and people emerged from the State of the Militia more determined than ever to promulgate the values conceptualized by their nation's founder, leader, and greatest hero.