��Dig through the ditches and burn through the witches�I slam in the back of my�Dragula��
Krycek moved his head and sang along.
��Dead I am the rat�Feast upon the cat�Tender is the fur�Dying as you purr��
�I�m warning you, Alex.� Scully smiled at him. �If you break out with the Ricky Martin impersonation again, I�m outta here.�
�Dana, Dana, Dana�� Krycek shook his head. �You�ll stifle the child�s sense of freedom with all the restraints you put on its father. Look here, it�s relatively warm, the moon is bright, the ocean breeze is blowing, the surf is crashing and it�s Halloween. If one cannot be footloose and fancy free under such conditions, when, I ask, can one?�
She snuck a shy glance his way. �There�s a big difference between fancy free and just plain idiotic.�
�There you go again with the name calling.�
�You know, Alex.� She looked up at him. �I think you are Ricky Martin.�
�Hey now, the name calling I can deal with but now you�re just blatantly going for the jugular.�
She laughed as they drew close to Ruby�s, her hand slipped easily into his.
***
It had to have been very early in the morning. One, two, maybe even three o�clock. Scully could feel Krycek�s unease through her sleep. It had invaded her dreams.
She wandered out onto the deck to see him sitting in a patio chair. His face was cold and harsh. It reminded her of the old Krycek; it brought back bad memories. She stared at him for a moment. An old Who song was playing on the radio.
��No one knows what it�s like�To be the bad man�To be the sad man�Behind blue eyes��
She walked over to stand a few feet away and stared down at him. He didn�t notice.
��No one knows what it�s like�To be hated�To be faded�To telling only lies��
She stood to the side, marveling at the fact that he was so lost in the past. He hadn�t noticed her yet, sixth sense or not. He was simply staring straight ahead. The only feeling she caught from him was despair. Maybe a little anger mixed in for good measure.
��But my dreams�They aren�t as empty�As my conscience seems to be��
She knelt down next to him. She really didn�t like the look on his face, the look of Krycek. How he had been so evil and manipulating and done a one-eighty on himself completely baffled her mind.
��No one knows what it�s like to feel these feelings�Like I do��
She put a hand on his arm. �Are you wallowing in your mire again?�
He shook his head, remaining silent.
��But my dreams�They aren�t as empty�As my conscience seems to be��
�And here I thought you were flawless.� She said. �But I guess even the laid-back, mellow, Taoist surfer has a momentary lapse of reason every now and again.�
His face relaxed in a smile as he looked over at her.
�Oh there you are, Alex.� She returned his grin. �I was wondering where you went.�
�Sorry.� He said. �I was just thinking.�
�That�s hazardous to your health.� She replied, walking over to sit down next to him. �Especially at two in the morning, staring out over the ocean. Do I even want to know what thoughts are rolling around in your head?�
�Probably not.� He said, then grinned ironically when the next song began to play.
��Cut my life into pieces�This is my last resort��
�Fitting.� He said, listening to Papa Roach�s �Last Resort�. �What are we going to do after the baby�s born?� He asked, looking away. �We can�t just live together until the child is eighteen and goes off to college.�
Scully was silent, mulling it over. It was something she herself had questioned a time or two. She looked over at him, shock on her face. �How expensive is college going to be by then? Damn, Alex, I�m impressed. You�re really thinking ahead.�
He met her gaze, a serious expression on his face. She hadn�t realized how upset he really was.
�Alex, the baby isn�t due for another few months. We�re here and we�re fine.� She said. �Let�s not worry about a year from now. Let�s just take things as they come. We will make it work. Who is it that�s always telling me to live in the present because tomorrow may never come?�
�Damn my sensibility.� He replied, shaking his head. �Comes back to bite me on the ass.�
Scully stared at him for a minute. �That�s not what you�re really worried about, is it?�
�Yes, I have been thinking about that.�
�But that�s not all.�
He grinned. �And you say you�re not psychic.�
�Oh no.� She said. �Don�t give me your little grin. You�re not going to charm your way out of this one. Spill the beans, come one.�
He was silent for a moment, listening to the song.
��Cause I�m losing my sight�Losing my mind�Wish somebody would tell me I�m fine��
�I�m just wallowing in my mire.� He said.
�Let�s hear it.� She insisted.
He sighed. �I�m just afraid. That�s all.�
�You�re afraid of what?� She asked, music in the background.
�...Nothing�s all right�Nothing is fine��
He didn�t look at her. �I�ve done some horrible things in my life. I owe. I�m going to have to pay for it. Simple fact of life. You get back what you put out. So I�m going to owe. And I�m going to owe big. And I�m afraid I�m not going to be around to see my child. To see him or her grow up. I can�t just decide to change and expect it to be that easy.� He laughed and looked over at her. �Because it�s been pretty easy so far.�
�Maybe it is this easy, Alex.� She said softly. �Maybe the good things are pay back for what you�ve already had to endure.�
�Maybe.� He said.
Scully knew he didn�t believe it. She didn�t know what to say.
��Cause I�m losing my sight�Losing my mind�Wish somebody would tell me I�m fine��
�Alex.� She put a hand over his. �You�re fine.�
�I�m sorry.� Krycek said, putting his free hand over his face. �You�re right. No one should be out here reflecting on their past hideousness and the possible repercussions of those actions in the middle of the night under a full moon.�
��Can�t go on�Living this way�Nothing�s all�right��
The song cut off inside the house, leaving the two of them sitting in sudden silence.
***
The following night, it was Scully�s turn to be restless. She couldn't sleep so she wandered out to the deck. It was freezing and almost midnight but she didn't care. She built a quick fire in the little adobe fireplace and sank into a chair, covering up with a blanket. She was worried sick about Mulder. What was he doing all the way across the country? He was so distant, he never called. When she happened to catch him at the Lone Gunmen's place, their conversation seemed forced.
There were still people down on the beach. She could hear the radio all the way up here. Even though it probably wasn't that loud, she knew her mind could hear it better than her ears. It was that weird song about Iron Maiden.
'�Her name is Noel�I have a dream about her�She rings my bell�I got gym class in half an hour�'
She sensed Krycek's presence before he spoke. 'You want to talk about it?'
Scully shook her head and he walked past her to look out over the beach. 'You want to be alone?'
She shook her head again, knowing that the gesture was unneeded. He could sense her answer anyway.
They stood in silence and listened to the music.
'�But she doesn�t know who I am�And she doesn�t give a damn about me...'
'I don't know what he's thinking.' Scully suddenly blurted out.
'I'm sure Fox is doing what he thinks he needs to do.' Krycek said, not looking back at her.
'He hasn't been out here.' She said. 'Why won�t he even come out here?'
'He thinks that what he's doing is very important.'
'More important then me?' Scully asked, biting back tears.
'He thinks he's saving the world.' Krycek said. 'What can possibly be more important than that?'
Scully fell silent. Here she was, complaining about a man who couldn't, who wouldn't, commit to her. Why was she still hanging onto him? He obviously didn't love her. Even if he did, was this the kind of relationship she really wanted?
��Cause I�m just a teenage dirtbag, baby�Yeah, I�m just a teenage dirtbag baby�Listen to Iron Maiden baby�With me��
She looked up at Krycek as he stood there, looking over the Pacific Ocean. He was always ready to talk to her about anything she felt. He was always ready to support her, listen to whatever gripe she had. Why couldn't Mulder be like that? After all, they had an eight-year history. Alex and her had only been friends for a few months but they already felt like best friends. He kept nothing from her while Mulder hid everything. Scully knew that Alex cared about her, and she cared about him. He had brought her a gift the other day. A ring of Celtic lace she had seen and adored.
She had been out on the deck, in her usual chair, trying to write in a journal. This was a habit she�d been religious about all her life, but the ritual had fallen to the side during the last few years of her life. Krycek had casually crashed into the chair next to hers.
�Hey.� He greeted.
�Hey.� She finished scribbling a sentence before closing the book and looking at him. �You were out awhile. What have you been up to?�
�Takin� care of business.� He grinned at her. �Workin� overtime.�
�You look like the cat that got the mouse, Alex.� She couldn�t help but smile at the boyish grin on his face. �Why do I get the feeling you�re up to something.�
�Because I am.�
�You are?�
�Got somethin� for you.�
�Chocolate?� She asked hopefully.
�No.�
�French fries?�
�No.�
�Food at all?�
�Nope.�
She stuck her bottom lip out. �Not even a pickle?�
�Not even close.�
�It�s not something I can eat?�
He looked over at her. �You can�t be hungry again.�
�I�m eating for two.� She said defensively.
�Seems like three or four.�
�Whatever!� She shoved at him and laughed.
�Now you can forget it.� Krycek said. �I�ll just have to wear it myself. Although I don�t think it�s quite meant for a man to wear.�
�You brought me maternity clothes?�
�You really think I�m dumb enough to try guessing your size?� Krycek asked, holding out his hand. �That�s suicide. �
I�m not striking a pose here, Dana. Gimme your hand, I�m not going to bite you.�
�With you, Alex, one can never be sure.�
He dropped the ring into her outstretched hand and she gasped.
�I can�t take this.�
�The first present I ever give anyone and it�s rejected right off the bat. How rude. What kind of pattern am I supposed to develop off of this response?�
�It�s not that I don�t like it-�
�Next time you see something you want, I�ll just be proactive and break it right in front of you.�
Scully slid the band on the ring finger of her right hand and admired it.
�I can see if I brought you home one karat diamond earrings or something that you could refuse, but come on, it�s white gold, how expensive can it be?�
�I�m not stupid, Alex. If you brought home diamond earrings, I would justify keeping them.�
�Oh great, so now the ring�s not good enough.�
She laughed before glancing up at him. �I don�t know what to say.�
�You don�t have to say anything.�
�Yes, I do-�
�No really.� He grinned. �I can read your mind, you don�t have to say anything.�
Scully burst into laughter. �You�re such an asshole.�
He gasped. �I�m so glad our poor child isn�t around to hear the way you�re talking to its father.�
�The poor child would probably agree with me.� She said, giving him a look.
�I�m hurt. I�m shocked and amazed. I even brought gifts and still got kicked to the curb.�
The phone rang and he pushed himself off the railing.
�Yeah, you mind getting that for me?� Scully asked, taking a drink of her tea.
�You know, I don�t need this abuse.�
�Whatever.� She said, throwing a look in his direction. �Punk.�
�Loser.� He disappeared into the house.
�Freak.� She called after him.
�Crackhead.� He yelled back.
Scully smiled and shook her head. He appeared a minute later, holding the phone to his chest to cover the mouthpiece.
�Don�t faint.�
She looked up at him. �What? Why?�
He held the phone out towards her and whispered. �It�s Fox.�
Her eyes grew wide in surprise and she took the phone from him, the ring flashing on her hand.
�Like the ring.� He said. �Must�ve cost a fortune. Where�d you get it?�
Scully smiled to herself, reliving the memory. Alex was always doing things to cheer her up.
She must be insane; she must be out of her mind. What the hell was she thinking? The answer was simple. She was still in love with Mulder. And she missed him terribly.
Scully got out of her chair and walked towards Krycek.
'�Man I feel like mold�It's prom night and I am lonely�Low and behold�She's walking over to me...'
Krycek sensed her walking up to him and turned to look at her. She got within two feet of him and stopped, staring up at him.
��This must be fake�My lip starts to shake�How does she know who I am�And why does she give a damn about me��
Scully searched his eyes and he let her. He didn�t look away. He returned her gaze.
'�I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby�Come with me Friday, don't say maybe�I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby, like you�'
Scully slowly let her head fall on his chest. Krycek wrapped his arms around her and held her until she was tired enough to go back to bed.
***
Mulder sat on his couch, searching though charts and picking at some leftover Kung Pao chicken, when the Lone Gunmen came knocking.
Langly held up a twelve-pack of MGD. 'We come in peace.'
Mulder smiled and waved them in. 'What's going on, guys?'
'We haven't heard from you in forever and a day.' Byers said. 'We were worried.'
'About me?' Mulder said, accepting a beer Frohike handed him.
'It's not like you to hibernate.' He replied.
'Sorry, guys.' Mulder sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 'I've just been really busy.'
'So we noticed.' Frohike twisted off the cap of his Miller and threw it into the trashcan. 'Scully called us earlier tonight.'
'How is she?' Mulder didn't look at them.
'She mentioned you still hadn't been out to visit her.' Langly said.
'Like I said, I've been busy.'
'Too busy for Scully?' Frohike asked.
'I've been busy.' Mulder repeated.
'We've been out there three times, Mulder.' Byers said, sitting down at the opposite end of the couch. 'You haven't been at all, what's going on?'
'Nothing.'
Frohike leaned closer towards Mulder. 'It's Diana, isn't it?'
'No!' Mulder said, looking horrified.
The three were silent and Mulder leaned back on the couch. The silence stretched out and he finally spoke.
'How is she?'
He was greeted by three different responses.
'She looks great.'
'She seems really happy.'
'She just loves that dog of hers.'
Mulder looked back at the three of them. 'And what's the dogs name?'
'Stout.' They all answered.
'Stout.' He smiled. 'What did you guys do while you were there?'
'Alex and I surf a lot.' Langly said.
'He's teaching me German.' Byers said. 'I learn more and more every time we go out there.'
'Scully taught me how to cook all kinds of vegan crap.' Frohike grimaced. 'I love the way it tastes, but I can't stand to think about all those ingredients.'
'They make some kick-ass chili though.' Langly said.
'Definitely.' Byers said.
'Oh yeah,' Frohike said, 'Their chili rocks.'
Mulder nodded to himself at the idea of the happy homemakers. 'Sounds perfect.'
'You should really go out there, Mulder.' Byers said. 'You don't want to wait too long.'
Byers nodded. 'Alex isn't what you think.'
'He's actually pretty cool.' Frohike said. 'And you know how hard that is for me to say.'
Mulder sat and contemplated for a moment.
Frohike leaned towards him and spoke softly. 'You really need to see Scully. Maggie's been out there quite a lot. She's thinking of moving out that way.'
'Maggie?' Mulder asked. 'Scully's Mom?'
The three nodded somberly.
'She wants to be close to the baby.' Byers said.
'And she really likes Alex.' Langly said.
�Well that�s just beautiful.� Mulder said, realizing that the thought of Scully staying out in California for an extended period of time had never entered his mind. What were they planning on doing after the baby was born? He was getting irritated and wished again that Krycek would somehow manage to have an accident while surfing and get washed out to sea.
Frohike leaned down towards him. �You need to get out there, Mulder.�
�I can�t right now.�
Frohike walked to the television and popped a tape into the VCR. �I didn�t want to have to do this.�
Mulder took a drink of his beer, eyeing his friend curiously. �What the hell are you doing?�
�Waking you up.� Frohike stepped back as an image popped up. �This was the last time we were out there, for Labor Day.�
�You guys went to decorate the kid�s room?� Mulder asked in surprise before being distracted by a song blasting on the television.
��Judy jumped in front of a subway train�And Eddie got slit in the jugular vein�Eddie I miss you more than all the others�This song is for you my brother��
The view spun dizzily as the camera was settled in one place. Scully�s face came into view and Mulder�s breath caught in his throat. He didn�t think he�d ever seen her as radiant. She was shining; she was glowing and grinning into the camera. Her hair was blonde and growing out.
�Frohike, you�ve had that camera in our faces all weekend.�
�You want your kid to have plenty of memories, don�t you?�
��Those are people who died�They were all my friends�And they died��
�I haven�t heard this song in years.� Langly�s voice popped up out of view.
�It�s flashback weekend.� Krycek�s voice could be heard. �KROQ does this every Labor Day.�
They were on a deck and the ocean could be seen just below. Byers and Bill were hovering around a barbecue; Maggie and Langly were both sitting in some patio chairs. There were a few people Mulder didn�t recognize milling around.
�I Touch Myself� by the Divinyls came on after The Jim Carroll Band and Scully�s eyes lit up. �I used to love this song.�
�I used to hate it.� Maggie laughed. �You and Missy played it the whole weekend you were both visiting.�
�That was ten years ago.� Scully laughed. �This song is so damn happy. Brings back good memories. I talked with Missy about joining the Bureau that weekend.�
Mulder found himself smiling at the television. Scully looked so happy. He didn�t think he�d ever so her so unrestrained, so free. She sang along with the lyrics, moving her head playfully to the beat.
��I love myself�I want you to love me�When I feel down�I want you above me��
She reached out and pulled someone next to her. Krycek came into view. He was tan and his hair was longer. He had a silly grin on his face and a beer in his hand.
Mulder's smile vanished in disgust.
�Dance with me.� Scully said, smiling.
�You�re nuts.� He replied. �You know I don�t dance.�
He was rewarded with jeers and remarks.
Langly threw a beer cap at him. �What was the Ricky Martin impersonation earlier.�
Krycek grinned. �I don�t know what you�re talking about.�
Scully went to grab his hands and bumped him as he was taking a drink of his beer. The bottle clinked against his teeth and he put a hand over his mouth, laughing.
�I�m sorry.� She laughed with him and put a hand on his arm. She took his hand and twirled under his arm a couple of times, smiling up into his face.
Krycek looked into the camera, a look of bewilderment on his face. �And she�s the sober one.�
Not to be deterred, she took the bottle out of his hand and set it down. She grabbed his other hand and began to dance while singing.
��You�re the one who makes me come running�You�re the sun who makes me shine�When you�re around, I�m always laughing�I wanna make you mine��
Krycek rolled his eyes as a stupid grin spread across his face before looking back at her. �You really wanna get me started? Don�t make me go Pulp Fiction on your ass.�
She smiled in response and walked in a circle around him while he stood there. She looked up into his face, playfully singing to him.
��I close my eyes and see you before me�Think I would die if you were to ignore me�If you could see just how much I adore you�I�d get down on my knees, I�d do anything for you��
Mulder stared at the television, his mouth hanging open in astonishment.
Who the hell was this? And what did she do with Scully?
Staring at the image of Scully singing to Krycek while dancing around was something his brain couldn�t quite grasp. The fact that they were on a deck at a beach house, surrounded by the Lone Gunmen and Scully�s family made it even weirder.
Krycek, his evil nemesis, his supposed brother, with hair that was half bleached, tan and drinking a beer, spinning his partner, best friend, and lover around with a silly grin on his face�
Mulder was beginning to believe that he�d followed Alice down the rabbit hole.
