She was silent for a beat. 'I was.'
'You remember Edward Logan?'
Scully's eyes flicked back and forth as she reached back to so many years ago. 'Edward, blonde hair, blue eyes, we went out with a couple of other students for beer sometimes...� She suddenly looked up at him, her face even paler than usual. 'Oh my God.' Her eyes were wide, her mouth slightly open. 'He was you.'
'From the beginning, Agent Scully.� He smiled sadly at her. 'They've been living our lives from the beginning.'
'From the beginning.' Scully repeated.
'They put me in medical school to recruit a scientist.' Krycek said, rubbing his hand over his eyes. 'Someone who was logical, rational, brilliant-'
'Stop it.' Scully whispered.
'You were the smartest in the class.' He went on. 'You were never afraid to argue your point, with anyone. Remember that time some of us went to that seminar on Quantum Physics?'
Scully nodded. 'I remember.'
'You grilled the lecturer, what was his name?' Krycek asked. 'Dr. Adams? Dr. Arlen?'
'Avery.' She whispered.
'Yeah.' He smiled. 'Avery. Totally rude man. Condescending as all hell.'
Quiet once again engulfed the room. You could hear the ticking of the clock on the kitchen wall. Scully stood up and rested her hand on the back of a chair.
'So you've been using me from the beginning?'
�No.� He looked her full in the eyes. 'Not me.'
'You picked me out.'
'I picked the smartest.' He stood up to face her. 'I picked out the person who was able to bring Fox Mulder down.'
'Bring him down? Scully exclaimed.
'Mulder had been guided towards the X-Files.' Krycek walked around the room. 'His father had hoped that when he'd find what was out there, he'd want to help the cause. But Mulder didn't. He only wanted to expose them. And that couldn't happen.'
Skinner held up a hand in question. 'Mulder was led to the X-Files then brought down because he chose to believe in them?'
'Think on it, Assistant Director.' Krycek said, turning to face them. 'Millions of people, learning of the existence of alien life? Alien life far more intelligent than ours? Alien life whose sole purpose is to wipe us off the planet, to use our bodies to populate the earth with monsters?'
'There'd be mass hysteria.' Skinner said softly.
'At best.' Scully answered.
'Mulder wanted to expose all that.' Krycek said. 'He made it quite clear when he was given the choice.'
Both Skinner and Scully rapidly glanced back at him. 'What choice?' They asked in unison.
'That's the reason you were assigned to the X-Files, Agent Scully.' Krycek smiled again. 'Mulder never told you that?'
'Told me what?' She whispered.
'He was approached. He was offered a deal.' Krycek sat on her couch and casually crossed one leg over the other. 'He was offered a choice, to work alongside us. He didn't take it. He wanted to expose us instead. He given the choice to join or fight against us.' Krycek shrugged. 'He chose to fight.'
'And so I was assigned as his partner to bring him down.' Scully closed her eyes. 'I thought I was assigned to the X-Files because of my scientific expertise.' She said. 'Because of my mind.'
'You were assigned because of your mind.' Krycek replied. 'You were brought on to debunk the X-files.'
Skinner came around to stand on the other side of Krycek. 'Mulder knew he was being assigned a partner to discredit his work?'
'He knew he was being assigned a partner. He didn't know who it was going to be, or why. Although I'm sure he suspected.' Krycek smiled. 'Mulder was always the smartest guy around.'
'Do you know where Agent Mulder is?' Skinner asked softly.
'All I know is he's with his father.' Krycek replied.
'His father?' Scully whispered.
'His father is dead.' Skinner said harshly.
'You must be referring to Bill Mulder.' Krycek said. 'That is not Mulders father.'
'What?' Skinner and Scully both exclaimed.
'Bill Mulder was the most influential mind in the group and therefore the most expendable. He did what he needed to do. He took in some of the experiments, the children of the experiments, and claimed them as his own.'
'You are suggesting that Bill and Tina Mulder aren�t Mulder's parents?' Skinner asked as Scully sat down heavily in the chair again.
'Bill and Tina Mulder were both unable to have children.' Krycek sighed, shaking his head. 'The result of a test gone horribly wrong.'
'If this is true,' Scully said, 'then who are his parents?'
'The Spenders.' Krycek replied.
It seemed as if time stood still in Scully's kitchen. Skinner looked over at her, his usual stoic expression actually showing great disbelief. Scully could only stand there, swallowing repeatedly as she tried not to be knocked down by the overwhelming information.
'Cassandra Spender.' She said softly.
'Yes.' Krycek confirmed.
'And Cancer Man?' Skinner asked.
Krycek nodded. 'Yes.'
Now it was Skinner's turn to pull out a chair and slowly sit down. 'I guess it make's sense.' He said. 'Mulder should have been dead a dozen times over by now. A father cannot kill his own son.'
'What about Jeffrey Spender?' Scully asked. 'It was rumored that he was killed by the group.'
'He's not dead.' Krycek said. 'He's working with the others now.'
Scully put her hands over her face and leaned back in her chair. 'What am I supposed to believe about anything. It's all lies.'
'It hasn't been lies, Agent Scully.' Krycek shook his head. 'It's just been a matter of letting you guess. You go off in one direction and form your own truth's and those truth's are usually only a fraction of what's really going on.'
'Like I said before,' Skinner jumped in, 'when you put it all together it makes no sense. I could use another beer.' He stood up and glanced down at Scully. 'Do you mind?'
'Not at all.' She paused, looking over at Krycek. 'Beer?'
He softly laughed in response. 'Yes, thank you. Seems strange to be sitting at your kitchen table, having a beer with the Assistant Director.'
'Not as strange as it seems to me.' She replied, not smiling. 'I'd join you if I could.'
'Can I get you anything?' Skinner returned with the beers and handed one to Krycek. 'Water or something?'
'I'm fine, thank you.' She turned her attention back to the mysterious figure in front of her. 'What role do you play, Alex Krycek?' Scully asked. 'How is it that you're so informed.'
'I've always been informed. I was brought up knowing exactly what I was.' He said softly. 'In some ways I think it was a lot better than believing the lie. Mulder, Samantha, Jeffrey, they were given a semblance of real life to go by. I never was. I know I was conceived in a lab, genetically altered. I know I wasn't a child conceived for the sake of love, or a family or anything else. I was created purely for the sake of trying to save the human race.' He took a deep swallow of his beer and stared back at their blank faces.
'Can you maybe start at the beginning of this?' Scully asked.
'That would take forever.' He said back to her.
Skinner huffed in exasperation. 'Then give us the cliff notes.'
***
The three of them sat around the table for an hour or so, conversing back and forth, drinking beer and breaking out the leftover Thai food. Skinner and Krycek were hungry, but Scully had no appetite after trying to digest what she was hearing.
'Let me simplify this.' Skinner said, pointing chop sticks at Krycek. 'When the aliens first made their intention of colonization clear, the Syndicate began genetically altering humans to withstand the virus.'
'The virus being how the aliens will spread.� Krycek said.
'Mulder, Jeffrey, Samantha and you, were the first wave of children to be experimented on.'
'We couldn't withstand the virus.' Krycek elaborated. 'We merely had some extraterrestrial characteristics, and each of ours was different.'
'And now not only has science grew by leaps and bounds, but there is a lot more known about the aliens and the virus.' Skinner said.
Krycek nodded as pieces of a vegetarian spring roll fell in his lap. 'Yes.'
'Forgive me,' Skinner said, 'My medical and genetic background are a bit lacking.'
'It's quite simple.' Scully spoke up for the first time in awhile. 'Since the first wave of children already have the alien genetics, their offspring�s are easier to genetically alter.'
'Mulder is an alien-human hybrid.' Krycek reiterated. 'This makes it very simple to engineer his children's DNA, since they already contain alien genetics.'
Scully sat quietly at the table, not hearing the other two bantering back and forth. Then they did this, then they did that and because of that they did this. She couldn't care right now. She was too busy dealing with the fact that Mulder was totally not who she, or he for that matter, thought he was.
'An alien-human hybrid.' She whispered aloud, causing both men to turn her way.
'Agent Scully?' Skinner asked.
She was unresponsive to them, lost in her own head. 'This is insane.'
Skinner looked at her carefully. 'To which part are you referring, Agent Scully?'
'The part where children are being created solely for the purpose of avoiding human extinction brought on by little green men.' She said bitterly.
'Well, that would about sum it up.' Krycek smiled.
'How can you find this amusing?' Scully asked harshly.
He raised his eyes to meet hers. 'Because this is what I've been living with all my life, Agent Scully. This has been my reality since I was old enough to remember. While you and your friends were playing hopscotch and making lemonade stands out in the front yard, I was strapped to machines. I was wondering how come other girls and boys got to go to school while I went to a laboratory. I didn't know what a mom or dad was until I realized that I didn't have one.' Krycek stopped for a moment and looked away. 'So yes, I am able to find humor wherever I can. This is all I have known.'
Scully didn't look at him. She couldn't. She didn't know what to say. She wanted to hate him, but felt like apologizing at the same time. She didn't have a chance to say anything before there was a knock at the door.
Skinner pulled his gun out again and went to the door. 'Who is it?'
'It's Byers.'
Skinner looked back at Scully and she whispered back at him. 'The three stooges.'
He opened the door to reveal The Lone Gunmen.
The three walked into her house, Frohike in the lead, asking Scully how she was feeling. He stopped short when he saw Krycek, causing Langly to run into him and Byers to run into Langly.
'What's the punk ass doing here?' Frohike asked in his delicate manner.
'Relax, Frohike.' Scully said. 'He's been catching us up on the big secrets.'
'Brewski's!' Langly exclaimed. 'Flow me a Heinie?'
'Have at it.' Scully said, waving in the direction of the refrigerator.
'I'm impressed.' Krycek said. 'I didn't know that about you.'
'What?' Scully asked.
'That you were a boardhead.'
'I went to Berkeley for my undergrad.' Scully said. 'Spent a lot of time with the surfers in Santa Cruz.'
'Sharky.' Krycek smiled.
'Woofy.' Scully replied.
They smiled at each other in spite of themselves.
'Where'd you pick it up?' Scully asked, suddenly irritated at the quick connection they�d shared.
Krycek smiled and adapted the accent. 'Newport Beach, California.'
'That must have been where you got the blonde hair from.' Scully said. 'I've never seen so many beautiful people in my life.'
'I went to UC Irvine for my undergrad studies.' Krycek said. 'It was quite different from living on the East Coast.'
Scully suddenly noticed the other four staring at them, all with beers in hand, looking intrigued at their exchange.
'What?' She asked, looking innocent.
'Scully, I never knew you were a California Girl.' Frohike said.
She smiled back at him. 'I wasn't really. I just went to school there. Spent most of my weekends at the boardwalk in Santa Cruz.'
'Most of my time in California was spent in the Inland Empire.' Langly said. 'I went to UCR for two years. But I tried to make it out to Hollywood and down to Orange County as much as I could.'
'UCR?' Scully and Skinner both asked.
'University of California in Riverside.' Krycek answered. 'A very frightening place.'
'The punk scene out in the Inland Empire is popping right now.' Langly said.
'That's not all that's popping over there.' Krycek said. �There are more meth labs than people. They call Interstate 5 through California 'The Crank Highway'.�
'Is anyone going to tell me what is going on?' Byers asked. 'Or am I the only one here that finds it odd that Krycek, Scully and the Assistant Director of the FBI are all hovering around the table, having a few beers.'
'I'm not having any beer.' Scully said. 'I've been sticking to water.'
'God, that is so Mulder.' Frohike said.
'What is?' Scully asked.
'To take away from a serious question with a joke.' He answered.
'I have had enough seriousness for one night.' Scully said. 'It's nearly time to get back up in the morning and I've been dealing with serious crap all night.' She looked over at the three Lone Gunmen. 'What are you doing here this late, anyway?'
***
Scully finally had the place to herself. Skinner had brought her home from the hospital and ate dinner with her, the Lone Gunmen had come by to make sure she was okay and Krycek came by to...
She wasn't sure why Krycek had come by.
He wanted her to know what was going on and why; he wanted her help, her trust. He had painted a story of himself that was tragic, heart wrenching, unforgivable. He was the child of Armageddon, one in a wave of the last hope. He had told her and Skinner that he shared the same father as Mulder, the same father of Samantha and Jeffrey. That would make him Mulder's brother. After the awkwardness of him being there had worn off he had been funny, charming, believable.
She wasn't sure if she bought it or not.
Scully sighed and made the nightly rounds of locking up the apartment. Skinner and Krycek had cleaned the place up and that visual was enough to make her laugh softly again. Skinner had told her to rest the next day, that he would be back later on that afternoon. Krycek had assured her that he would check some resources and be by as well.
She climbed into bed and sank down under the covers. Her mind drifted back to the night they had been at the Japanese Bar and what had happened when Mulder had shared her taxi home.
***
The three of them piled in a cab together after closing the bar down. Mulder took advantage of the close quarters and flung an arm around Scully. She was smashed against his side and he didn't mind it one bit.
'Sir?' Mulder asked, an innocent look covering his face. 'Does this mean we can all take a personal day tomorrow?'
'No, Agent Mulder. You cannot take a personal day tomorrow, we have a very early meeting to attend.'
Mulder winced. 'And what time does the torture begin?'
'Seven am.' Scully said. 'Don't you read your Email?'
'We have Email?' Mulder asked.
Skinner flashed him a look as Scully drunkenly looked at her watch. 'We have about 3 hours to sleep.'
'Hell with that.' Mulder said. 'I'll just stay up all night.'
'I always feel better pulling an all-niter as opposed to grabbing two or three hours.' Skinner said, revealing a human side.
'Really, Sir? I didn't think you needed sleep.'
'Whatever.' Skinner said seriously, trying not to crack a grin.
Mulder and Scully burst into laughter, winning a small smile from their superior.
'This is my stop.' Skinner said. 'Mulder, you are picking me up in the morning since I had to leave my car?'
'I'll be there right after I pick up Scully.'
'Six thirty.' Skinner shut the cab door.
Mulder nodded. 'Quarter to seven.'
The door was automatically opened again. 'Six thirty, Agent Mulder.'
'Damn.' Mulder shut the door himself.
Mulder and Scully sat in silence for a few minutes. She finally patted his knee.
'Thanks, Mulder.' She said, unable to look at him.
'For what?' He looked out his window.
'For cheering me up.' She laughed. 'I haven't had this much fun in a long time. I really needed it.'
'Needed to get drunk?'
'I'm not drunk.' She said.
'You're drunk.'
'I am not.' She slapped his arm.
'Okay, you're not drunk.'
She tilted her head up. 'Thank you.'
'You're trashed.'
'I'm a bit inebriated.' She compromised.
'Smashed.'
'You're picking again.'
'Sorry.' He smiled, but still didn't look at her. 'You're welcome. I needed tonight too.'
'Why's that?' Scully asked. 'You can get drunk at home while you watch your Oscar-winning movie collection.'
'Now who's picking?' He turned and looked at her wide-eyed, making her laugh.
Silence settled over them again. Mulder reached over and covered her hand with his own.
'You know I care, Scully.'
She looked over at him, but he was still gazing out the window. 'Yes, Mulder. I know you care.'
A few moments passed before he had the nerve to turn and look at her. 'You're the only person I trust. The only person I can talk to. You're my best friend, Scully. And when I cannot talk to you about my fears, I can't talk to anyone.'
Scully searched his eyes. They were flashing pain. How had such a wonderful night turned somber again?
'Mulder.' She put her other hand on top of his, turning towards him. 'You can always talk to me, about anything.'
He shook his head, looking down at their entwined hands.
'Yes, you can.' She put her head down, trying to see into his face. 'I'm always here for you.'
'That's what I'm afraid of.' He whispered. 'I'm afraid you're not always going to be here.'
Scully didn't say anything back. She looked down at their hands now, her lips pressed firmly together.
'I know it's selfish of me to think this way.' Mulder said. 'Here you are battling a horrible disease and all I can think is how scared I am of...'
His voice trailed off.
'You can say it.' Scully said softly.
Mulder shook his head.
'Of me dying?' She asked.
'Of losing you.' He corrected. 'I don't think I could.'
Scully stared at him for a moment, eyes brimming with tears, before taking a breath. She was going to be strong, she was going to be rational, she was going to be Scully. 'It's not something you really have any choice in, Mulder. You'd get through it.'
'I don't think I could.' He said again.
Scully tried to think of something to say. A million things ran through her mind and they all sounded trite. She looked over at Mulder to see him staring back at her, his eyes teary. He reached out and brushed an errant strand of hair off her forehead.
'I don't think I'd want to.'
'Mulder...� Was all she could strangle out of her throat.
'Hey, Scully.' He let his hand fall from her face onto her shoulder. The look in his eyes, he had let his guard down and his emotions were showing through. She could only stare back at him as he cupped her cheek with his other hand. Mulder slowly leaned towards her, his intentions clear. 'Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?'
'Mulder...� She whispered again, trying to stop this, but not sure how. Not sure if she wanted to.
He kissed her tenderly and her mind went blank. She was lost in emotions. How long had she thought about this? How long had she wondered if this was the road they would eventually travel down? Why now, after all this time? She was fighting cancer, she had just come off a terrifying case, and she was drunk.
'Mulder, wait.' She broke the contact.
He stared back at her, hurt and disappointment shining in his eyes. 'I'm sorry.'
'No, Mulder.' She said. 'It's not like that-'
'We're here, miss.' The cab driver said. The taxi came to a halt in front of her apartment.
Scully sat for a moment, berating herself for not handling this as well as she could have. 'Mulder-'
'I had a lot of fun tonight, Scully.' He said, looking straight ahead.
She slowly got out of the car and hesitated. She regretted that the night had ended awkwardly, after all the fun they'd had. After how much closer they'd gotten. She wanted to repair the damage, but didn't know how. She bent back down to look at him. 'I had a lot of fun too, Mulder. Thanks for taking me.'
'Thanks for going.' He glanced her way. The wall between them was definitely back up.
***
The sunshine peeked through the blinds and landed on Scully's face, waking her. She had dreamed the same dream over and over throughout the night. The wonderful evening her and Mulder had, leading up to the kiss in the taxi, then the whole relationship slamming on it's breaks.
Again.
When she opened her door the next morning, he had greeted her like he always did. Everything was back to normal.
The ride to Skinner's had been silent. In some ways she took the blame. He had reached out and she had slapped him down. She knew Mulder was sensitive, she knew he didn't reach out to people. Why couldn't she have been more receptive?
Skinner, sensing something was odd, had babbled all the way to the FBI Headquarters. It couldn't have been any more obvious, if you thought about it. The night before they had seemed like best friends and today they were cold and distant.
Scully spent the ride into work chewing on her lip. He was the one who had rejected her to begin with! He had expressed doubts at the beginning, why couldn't she? She guessed it was the fact that they were five years into the friendship by then and had been through five dozen times more. Scully had responded to Mulder just as indifferently as he had responded to her and they had gone off to their meeting, never mentioning the previous night again.
Scully sighed, looking into her refrigerator. It was very bleak. Now that she wasn't eating meat, there didn't seem to be anything in the kitchen that she could fix for herself. She was going to have to do something about this. Maybe some minestrone soup...Made with beef broth. Damnit.
'Scully?'
There was a knocking at her door and she recognized Krycek's voice. She frowned, thinking that he wasn't supposed to be here until the afternoon. She realized, startled, that is was the afternoon. Had she slept all morning?
'Krycek.' She greeted, letting him pass through the door.
