By SASpooky
Scully watched Assistant Director Skinner's back disappear through the door of her hospital room. She opened her mouth to call him back - she didn't want to be left alone - but changed her mind and blew out a heavy sigh instead.
She was too proud to ask for help. After all, she was the Undefeatable Dana Scully! She was fine. She was always fine. She was always so damn fine that she wanted to scream!
When Skinner had patted her hand a moment ago and asked if she would be okay, what did she reply with?
I'm fine.
Well, she wasn't fine. Tears came to her eyes as she thought of Mulder and she rested her hands on her belly. The wonder of it all swirled through her mind for the hundredth time in the last ten minutes and the unfairness of Mulder being taken away burned her heart one more time.
She blinked back the tears. 'I will not grieve for him like he is gone.' She whispered aloud to feel the conviction. 'He didn't doubt me for a moment while I was away and I will not doubt him now.'
However, for him to be taken like this, just when they both found the courage to find footing in their relationship was too much for her to take. Their ridiculous pride, their fear of feelings, finally shoved aside. What a wonderful time it had been, however brief. Years of one coming to the other, the other not ready. From a tentative kiss shared seven years ago, through drifting apart, then finally coming together, only to lose it all now. She thought back to the first time she saw Mulder, as his own person and not the spooky agent everyone talked about...
Relieved beyond belief that they were only mosquito bites, Scully had thrown herself at Mulder and leaned against him. She let herself be comforted for a few moments, finding herself surprised by the feelings that had been sneaking up on her. She didn't know him, didn't trust him and sure as hell didn't believe any of the wild ideas he flung her way.
She stilled her mind and there it was.
Attraction.
The wall went up. She looked down and gathered her robe around her when he asked if she was okay. Of course, she was fine. She immediately shut him out then berated herself for being weak in the first place. She sat down and took some time to gather her wits.
Mulder gave her some space, but when he noticed a tear slide down her cheek, he knelt in front of her.
'Are you okay?' He tried to see in her face, but her hair obscured it.
'I'm fine.'
He brushed the hair away so he could look in her eyes. 'I don't think so, Scully.'
She met his gaze. 'I don't know what I was thinking, Mulder.' My God, were his eyes always this green? 'Being scared by some mosquito bites, how stupid. This whole case has...I don't know. This whole case has been difficult. Maybe I'm just a little afraid of things I can�t explain.'
Mulder gave her a grin. 'Welcome to my world.�
Scully didn't return the smile. She didn't understand his mindless devotion to this dead-end assignment, his refusal to see any kind of logic, turning instead to fairy-tales and folklore. And somewhere, in one fleeting moment, she suddenly throws all her science out the window and believes that some bumps on her back are the work of something extraterrestrial.
She searched his eyes, thinking of something, anything, to say and break this awkward silence. Ah, his beautiful eyes. There was a lot going on in those eyes. She saw a brilliant intelligence; she saw wisdom beyond his years, and she saw desperation. Pain. Longing.
She saw that Spooky Mulder wasn't so spooky. He was just hurt. He was alone. He was haunted. Behind the myth that was the cunning Spooky Mulder was just a man who was searching like the rest of us. Scully felt an attachment to Mulder she could never explain.
She leaned forward and gingerly pressed her lips against his.
Scully was jolted out of her memory by a knock at the door. She sat up and wiped at her eyes.
'Yes?'
Frohike peered around the door, light reflecting off his glasses. 'Just saw Skinner leave, thought I'd check up on you.'
Scully smiled at him. 'Come on in.'
He wandered over to stand beside the bed, looking uncomfortable. 'I uh, heard about Mulder. Being taken. Disappearing, whatever.'
Scully looked down at her hands on her belly again and nodded.
There was silence for a moment, and then Frohike shook his head. 'Sucks.'
Despite herself, Scully let out a small snort of laughter. Leave it to Frohike to sum up an entire situation in one small word. She gave a slight nod of her head. 'It does suck. As a matter of fact, it sucks big time.' Tears came to her eyes again and she cleared her throat.
Frohike switched his balance from one side to the other. 'But you're okay? There's nothing wrong? Nothing...coming back?'
'No cancer.' She smiled up at him again. 'I'm fine.'
'Scully, you weren't fainting for no reason. What did they find?'
She hesitated, thinking. Did she really want everyone to know? She herself couldn�t explain it. Was she ready to answer all the questions? She was alone, and frightened, and missed Mulder terribly. She couldn't look into the face of reality if her reality was a life without Mulder. A single mother forever reminded of her soul mate in the small face that would smile up at her. She was scared out of her mind for herself, her child and for him. She was in pain over the fact that he may be in pain. She wanted and needed support.
Tears fell from her eyes as she let the fear envelop her body, her heart, and her soul.
'I'm not sure I want everyone to know...� Her voice trailed off.
'I won�t tell.' He said softly, convinced that her horrible cancer had come back and she was being the brave one yet again. 'I won�t even talk if you don't want. I'll just listen.'
She looked at her odd, little friend. A couple of moments went by before she found the courage to whisper.
'I'm pregnant.'
Frohike stared back at her, his face going through disbelief, shock, and confusion. He shook his head.
Scully nodded at him. 'I'm pregnant.'
'But you-� Frohike shook his head again.
'I know.'
'You can't.'
She smiled through her tears. 'I know.'
He shook his head one more time. Then he smiled. He began to laugh before something settled over his features and he looked at her again.
'Does he know?'
Scully looked down again. 'I just found out.'
Frohike slowly put a hand over hers. 'He'll be so crazy about this.'
She entwined her fingers with his.
'He won�t shut up about it.' He said. 'He'll drive us nuts.'
'I never got to tell him.' Scully said. 'I just found out. I just found out...� She trailed off, beginning to cry, unable to continue.
Frohike leaned over and put his arms around her. 'It's okay. We'll find him, Scully. If he doesn't find us first.'
She buried her face in his chest, hiding from the world. She didn�t notice Byers and Langly standing solemn at the door. 'I couldn't tell him.'
'It's okay. It will all be fine.' Frohike shut his own eyes against the tears.
***
The kiss lasted for a few moments before Mulder broke it off.
'Scully-'
She immediately stood up. 'I'm sorry-'
'No, no, no.� He stood up with her. 'I-'
Scully turned and headed for the door, face burning with embarrassment. Mulder put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.
'We've both had a long day. You've had a hard time since we've been here.' He turned her around. She couldn't look up at him. She was feeling the rejection.
'It's just that...� He cupped her chin to make her look up at him. 'I don't want to screw anything up.'
Scully searched his eyes, she didn't understand what he was saying, and slowly nodded.
Mulder, on the other hand, wanted to say so much more. That he'd never met anyone like her before. That he was in awe of her intelligence, her beauty. That he'd instantly felt attracted to her because she didn't take any of his bravado.
Mulder slid his hands down her arms. 'You know, I've been waiting for you to explain your rewriting of Einstein to me.'
She smiled up at him. 'Break out the snacks I saw you stash in your bag and have a seat. I could go on about this all night.'
They had talked for hours, joking and laughing like they'd been friends forever. The topics ranged from college, to childhood, to irritating family members. When the conversation turned to work and their current assignment on the X-Files, the atmosphere turned somber. Mulder felt she should be included in on his whole experience when his sister was taken. He wanted her to know why he took on such an unpopular assignment to begin with. Scully thought it sounded like a science fiction comic book.
Government conspiracies, tests, aliens...
But she could see that Mulder believed in the scenario one hundred percent. She thought she could glimpse into his soul and see his pain and anger of the abduction of his sister. She felt that maybe his guilt had created a need to try to solve things that were unsolvable.
'Dana?'
Scully broke out of her memory to see her Mom standing at the door. She started to sit up. 'Mom? How did you know-'
'Walter called me.' She said, hurrying to Scully's bedside and gently easing her back down. 'He said it was important for me to be here.'
'Damn, Skinner.' Scully's face let out a small smile. 'I'm sure he means well but I know you've been a worried mess since his phone call.'
'I've been a little concerned.' Margaret looked down and took one of Scully's hands. 'I thought maybe...'
'No, Mom.' Scully shook her head. 'The cancer didn't come back. This is a bit more complicated. At least I could explain remission.'
Margaret searched her daughter's face. 'You've been crying, I can tell. What is it sweetheart?'
Scully bit her lip and looked away. She didn't want to start the tears all over again. She felt empty, dried out. 'It's like the most wonderful gift during my worst nightmare. I want to be happy, but I can't. I feel full of joy, but feel empty at the same time. And why should I be happy if he's not here with me, enjoying this too?'
Margaret was silent for a moment, trying to make sense of what her daughter was saying. 'Honey, is this about Fox?'
�Mom.� Scully's voice was barely above a whisper. 'Mulder's been taken.'
Margaret's face flashed some fear. 'What do you mean, taken?'
'Skinner said that there was a light...That Mulder walked into the light and he was...That there was...A UFO and it...'
Scully cringed at how this all sounded. Like she was a believer. The very thought made her cringe. Thankfully, her Mother finished it for her.
'And the flying saucer took him away.'
'Yes, Mom. But it sounds so crazy.'
'Well.' Maggie gripped her daughter's hand tighter. 'If Walter believes it, then so do I.'
Scully looked away. 'I know. Skinner's always been as cynical about this as I have.'
They were silent for a moment before Margaret spoke up again. 'But why are you here, in the hospital? What has happened?'
Scully didn't look at her. 'Mom, I don't really know how to tell you this, except for coming right out and saying it.'
Maggie's face grew pale. 'What is it, sweetheart?'
'Mom.' Scully gathered courage, then turned to face. 'I'm...'
Margaret searched her daughter's face. 'What, Dana? You can tell me.'
'I'm pregnant.'
Astonishment flooded her Mother's face. She didn't say anything.
'Yes, Mom.' Scully smiled a little. 'I'm pregnant.'
After a few moments, Margaret smiled back. 'Are you sure?'
Scully nodded, tears coming to her eyes again. 'I've had them run every test. I'm sure.'
Her Mom hugged her tightly. 'Sweetheart, I'm so happy for you!'
Scully closed her eyes against her tears. 'Oh Mom...'
Margaret pulled away and looked at her. 'Does Fox know?'
Sculled snorted laughter through her crying. 'What would make you think its Mulder's?
Maggie smiled at her. 'Because I know my daughter, and I know Fox.'
At this, Scully broke into tears all over again. 'Mom, I'm so scared...'
Margaret held her daughter while she cried. 'I know you're frightened, Dana. But try to remember that you have lots of people that care about you. And I will be with you every step of the way.'
'I just don't understand it, Mom.' Scully said through her tears. 'I wasn't supposed to be able to conceive.'
'Well, maybe the tests were wrong, sweetheart.'
'Not just that, Mom.' Scully said, pulling away. 'I've been on hormone therapy on top of everything else. There's no way I that should be able to get pregnant.'
Maggie stared at her. 'What are you trying to say, Dana?'
'I don't know, Mom.' Scully said, wiping at her eyes. 'I don't know anything anymore.'
Margaret sighed and sat down in a chair. 'What do the doctor's say?'
'They are even more clueless then I am.'
Margaret smiled. 'Well, I'm sure they weren't able to rewrite Einstein.'
Scully looked back at her and the two exchanged a smile before Margaret spoke up again.
'Can I ask you something, Dana?'
Scully eyed her wearily. 'I'm not sure...'
'I know how much you and Fox care about each other.'
'Oh, Mother.' Scully closed her eyes.
'I just want to see you happy and it seems like ever since he came into your life that everything is going wrong.'
'You don't think I've thought about that?' Scully said softly. 'I have, a lot. I don't blame Mulder. I was assigned to the X-Files. Believe me, Mulder didn't want anyone working with him.'
'I just wonder, sweetheart.'
'And I used to as well, Mom.' She said, facing her Mom. 'But Mulder is the most brilliant person I've ever known. He is the most passionate person I've ever met. At first he may have seemed selfish and careless and withdrawn, as I remember telling you. But that was because no one would actually see him. They would hear the stories and walk away. But he isn't like that at all. He care's about me because I SAW him. I KNOW him. He's my best friend, the only person to whom I can say half of the crazy things I think. He would give anything, ANYTHING, to keep me safe.' Her voice faded as she realized that Mulder had done just that.
Scully took a deep breath to calm down. Her voice had been increasing in volume. 'Mom, I don't think you understand all that Mulder has done for me. He followed me up to Antarctica, crawling through ice to find me. He found the cure for my cancer. He never gave up on finding me while I was abducted. Mulder will always protect me. He is all I have.'
Margaret smiled and pushed hair out of Scully's face. 'Not anymore.'
Scully glanced down at her stomach before smiling back at her Mom. 'No, I guess not.'
Someone barged through her door without knocking, catching both women off guard.
'What the hell happened now?'
Scully looked at her older brother. 'Nice to see you too, Bill.'
'Where is he?' Her brother asked, coming around to the other side of the bed. 'He's usually skulking around here, looking like the wounded animal.'
Scully held a hand up at him. 'Wait a minute-'
'No, you wait.' He pointed a finger at her. 'You wait. I've been quiet long enough about this.'
'Really?' Scully looked up at him incredulously. 'When was this? I've always thought you quite vocal about your feelings for Mulder.'
'He has brought nothing but heartache to this family. You run around, living in his insane, little world and you willingly follow for more.'
'I don't think you know what you're talking about right now, Bill.' Scully said softly. 'I think you should be careful.'
'You're telling me to be careful? You put your life in danger every day because of your association with him! He is selfish and insane and cares nothing about anyone. If it weren�t for him, you never would have been ill. If it weren�t for him, you would still be able to have children. If it weren�t for him, Melissa would still be alive.'
Margaret stood up. 'Bill, that's enough!'
There was total silence in the room. Bill stood, staring at his Mother defiantly. Margaret glared back, daring him with her eyes to say something else. And Scully sat there, hands resting on her stomach, tears filling her eyes once again at the thought that Melissa would never know her baby.
'Agent Scully.'
All three looked over to see Skinner standing in the doorway.
'Sir. How long have you been standing there?'
Skinner came all the way in the room and held the door open. 'Long enough to know that visiting hours are over and you should be getting some rest.'
Bill stared at Skinner for moment, seeming a bit embarrassed, then reached down to briefly take Scully's hand. She looked up at him in surprise, meeting his eyes, and he turned and walked out.
Skinner closed the door behind him, giving a small shake of his head.
'Please excuse my son, Walter.' Margaret said, smiling a bit. 'He's been that way ever since my husband died.'
'Just since then, Mom?' Scully didn't look up.
'Okay, worse since then.' Margaret picked up her purse.
'You don't have to leave, Mrs. Scully.' Skinner said. 'I just didn't want a confrontation in here.'
'Oh, that's okay. I need to let Dana rest anyway. I'll be by later sweetheart.' She leaned down and kissed Scully and the forward and put her hand on Skinner's arm as she walked by. 'Thank you, Walter, for calling me.'
'That's quite okay.' Skinner said. 'I'll keep in touch.'
Scully marveled at how respectful and pleasant Skinner was around her Mom before huffing in exasperation. 'What a pompous ass.'
'Agent Scully, do you always insult your superior's?'
'I was talking about Bill.'
'I know that Agent Scully. I was taking a stab at humor.'
They both stared at each other with stony expressions, each trying to bluff the other out, then burst into laughter.
***
Scully sat in the car, debating whether or not to go back into the hospital to look for Mulder. Seeing Harold Spuller�s ghost in the review mirror certainly didn't give her any of the comfort that she thought she'd find in the solitude of her car. She had needed to get away from Mulder, needed to repair the gap in the wall between them that had started to crack during the last couple of days.
'I know what you're afraid of.' He'd said. 'I'm afraid of the same thing.'
Scully closed her eyes again as the memory relived itself. Such a small statement and yet it had moved her beyond words. She wanted to reach out to him in her fear. Needed support from her closest friend. Yet, her pride stood in the way.
A knock on her window caused her to jump and a breathy sigh escaped her. She didn't want to turn and see any other ghosts. Her Father, perhaps, come to get her a little early.
It was Mulder. He was leaning over to look at her through the window. His green eyes were awash in concern.
Scully rolled down the window. 'Mulder?'
'You okay, Scully?'
She swallowed before nodding. 'I'm fine. What are you doing out here?'
He leaned his arms against the window and squatted down. He opened his mouth to speak, then smiled. 'You want the Mulder answer or you want the truth?'
'Mulder, I thought truth was your middle name.'
'Bartholomew, actually.' He said with a straight face. 'You look a little pale, Scully. What's wrong.'
'You didn't answer my question.'
'An unexplainable psychic flash told me that you were out here all alone being swarmed over by Hawaiian elves called Menehune.'
She smiled in spite of herself. 'I'm assuming that's the Mulder answer.'
'Ah, Scully,� He grinned, 'Please don't tell me you don't believe in the Menehune?'
'No, Mulder. I don't believe you're psychic.'
'I beg to differ.' He said, giving a slight imperious raise of his head.
'Please don't beg, Mulder.' She said, unable to help a big, stupid flirtatious smile. 'It really doesn't look good on you.'
'Why Dana Scully.' Mulder looked astonished. 'If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were smiling right now.'
'If it bothers you,' she said, feeling vulnerable, 'I can put a stop to it.'
'Now I'd say you were blushing.' He chided.
'Stop it, Mulder.'
'It's almost of if you were acting like, like normal.'
'Mulder!'
'There she is.' He sighed heavily. 'Hey Scully.'
There was silence for a moment before she spoke up again. 'Well if you wouldn't pick on me all the time...'
'I do not pick on you.' He leaned back a little, holding onto the door. 'I play.'
'You do not play.'
'I do too.'
'You pick.' She said. 'You pick all the time.'
'I do not PICK.'
She turned and looked at him. 'My little feet reaching the pedals Mulder?'
He winced. 'Ouch. That must have stuck for you to be bringing it up now.'
'You pick.'
They were quiet again and the silence stretched out.
'I was playing.' He said again.
'Mulder, why are you out here?' She looked him in the eye. 'You're so good at dancing around things.'
He seemed confused for a moment. 'I don't believe you've ever seen me dance, Scully-'
'MULDER!'
He trailed off into laughter.
'Why Fox Mulder,' she mimicked, 'if I didn't know you better I'd say you were laughing.'
He laughed harder.
She stared at him, then smiled. 'There's something you don't see everyday.'
'I'm sorry.' He said through his giggle.
'No, no. I like it.'
'Really?' He ran his hands through his hair. 'I always thought my laugh sounded like a horse.'
'Oh I don't know, Mulder.' She looked at the windshield. 'You seem more like a horses ass to me.'
He burst into laughter again.
'Well, maybe you do sound a little like a horse.' She said.
'Now you're picking on me.'
'I'm PLAYING.' She stressed.
'How rude.'
'Oh what a hypocrite!' She screeched.
He started laughing harder, this time she joined him.
'Now that,' he pointed at her, trying to talk through his fit, 'was a girly screech.'
'Your point?' She glared at him.
'Agent Scully doesn't screech like a girl?' He raised an eyebrow at her.
'Agent Mulder doesn't usually laugh at my jokes.' She returned his gaze.
'You never make any!' It was his turn to raise his voice playfully.
