�Cooper, get this shit out of my laboratory.�
***
Mulder stared at the screen in silence, the Lone Gunmen fanned out behind him. He wasn�t sure what to make of the scene that had just played out in front of him. His mind swirled with refusal. He didn�t just see that happen. He must be mistaken. He must have misunderstood. Scully didn�t really just shoot Krycek, blowing his kneecap to bits. There must be some other explanation. Mulder stood there, with his arms crossed in front of him, the picture definition of disbelief on his face.
The only thing he knew for sure was that Scully was much stronger than he could ever be.
�What happened?�
Skinner�s voice announced the entrance of his friend and superior.
No one answered him; they all stood there. Mulder turned around to get a look at the Lone Gunmen. They looked just as bewildered and horrified as he felt. The four of them exchanged looks in silence.
�What?� Skinner asked, stalking over to stand beside Mulder to look at the monitor. He squinted at the image. �Is that Alex?�
�I�m afraid it is.� Langly said softly.
�And Cancer Man?� Skinner turned and looked over his shoulder at the people congregated behind him.
Byers and Langly nodded back at him. Mulder stood with his back to the monitor, his brow furrowed. He couldn�t watch it anymore. He was safe in here, watching, while Scully and his brother suffered through all kinds of hell. He needed to do more. He couldn�t watch them do this any longer. He didn�t care what Scully said. He didn�t care how much sense it made to bide their time. They couldn�t do this anymore.
�What the hell happened?� Skinner asked, looking at the monitor. Scully was gesturing towards Krycek with her gun. �Why is he laying on the floor?�
Frohike stared straight ahead, at the monitor. �Scully shot him.�
Skinner�s head whipped around. �What?�
�In the knee.� Langly said softly.
Skinner stared back at the monitor for a moment. �Why?�
�We don�t know.� Langly shrugged.
�She was protecting him.� Mulder said softly, his eyes far away.
Skinner took that in for a moment, staring at the screen. �She shot him in the knee?�
�What does Krycek love to do more than anything?� Mulder asked rhetorically.
�He surfs.� Langly said.
Frohike looked up at him. �Not anytime soon.�
�I can�t believe she did that.� Byers said softly.
�I think that�s the point.� Skinner said.
�Think about it.� Mulder said, rubbing his hands over his face. �How surprised were we? Someone who knows her less would probably think she fits right in with that crew.�
�I have no doubt that Spender took Alex in there to see how Scully would react.� Skinner said. �The man�s not stupid.�
Mulder�s eyes drifted towards the screen. �Neither is Scully.�
They were taking Krycek out of the room while Scully engaged in a beet-faced argument with a man in a lab coat. He must have got the last word because after a moment, she followed Krycek out the door.
Mulder was wounded when he saw the expression on her face. Even though the image was small, he could read her suffering as clearly as if someone had stamped �AGONY� across her forehead. He felt stupid all of a sudden. Useless like when they had gone to rescue Scully from the Syndicate. Back when he had his head up his ass.
Scully looked behind her, at Cooper, as the door shut behind her. He was her only friend in there. Well, besides his brother, but Krycek wasn�t going to be much help. Mulder�s mind slowly wound down, took it easy for a moment. Sure he�d said the words. Sure he�d casually tossed the idea against his brain. But he didn�t think he�d every actually realized it before. He never had let the thought hit home before. Krycek was his brother.
He had a brother.
Oh yes, who was the idiot now.
�Jesus.� Mulder said in disgust. �What the hell am I doing?� He stormed towards the door and pushed it open angrily. He left without saying another word.
***
�Cooper, get this shit out of my laboratory.�
He looked back at her, trying to recover from the shock he had felt at watching her mercilessly shoot the father of her child. �What do you want me to do with him?�
�I don�t care what you do with him!� She shouted. �Just get him out!�
�He needs medical attention.� Dr. Jenkins said, looking at all the matter on the ground. �We cannot risk the threat of an infection. Regardless of how quickly his body can heal itself, there are always risks.�
�Then fix it.� Scully snapped at him, the limits of her sanity stretching further and further apart.
Dr. Jenkins crossed the room to look down at Krycek. His complexion was ghostly white, his breathing was labored. His eyes landed on Dr. Jenkins for a moment, the hate and contempt shone through his pain.
�Oh no, my dear.� Jenkins fixed his gaze on Scully. �You are more than qualified to clean up this mess.�
�I�m not-�
�Yes, you are.� Jenkins said in a tone that indicated the matter was not open for debate. �You did this, you fix it.�
Scully stared back at him, her eyes on fire.
�You!� Spender pointed with his cigarette at the two men that were picking Krycek up. �You both stay with her while she examines him. Don�t let either one of them out of your sight.�
She began to follow the men carrying Krycek out, then turned to look back at Cooper. He gave her a quick, lopsided grin. She knocked her shoulder against Spender as she walked out.
Once inside a small examining room, and away from the Cigarette Smoking Bastard, Scully felt like she could breath again.
The two men threw Krycek down on a hospital bed, then hovered outside the door.
Scully pulled on latex gloves; tears immediately spilled out of her eyes.
Where�s Cade? Krycek asked her silently.
With my Mom. He�s fine, she thought back at him. I�m so sorry, Alex.
It will heal.
I�m sorry. I panicked. I didn�t know what to do. Scully chewed on the inside of her lip while examining his knee. Her whole body was shaking violently. Tears fell off of her cheeks and onto his leg. She could feel his pain and it was killing her. I�m so sorry, Alex. I didn�t know what to do.
Krycek was drenched with sweat from the pain. It will heal. How is Cade?
He�s beautiful, Alex. Scully blinked the tears from her eyes. He�s so beautiful.
Krycek finally looked up at her. You look tired.
Tears fell slid down her face as she tried not to look at him and concentrate on his knee. I am tired. I am so tired of this. I�m so sorry.
It�s almost over. Krycek looked away from her. The vaccine nearly works.
I know. Scully began to wrap his knee. I don�t know what to do.
You know, I�ve been living to see you. Krycek quoted Jesus Chris Superstar to her, a movie they used to love to vege out in front of. He continued, trying to make her feel better. Dying to see you, but it shouldn�t be like this.
Scully said the lyrics back. This was unexpected. What do I do now? Could we start again please?
I�m so glad you�re here.
Scully was suddenly useless. She stood there, staring at his knee, letting his thoughts wash over her.
But you need to leave, Krycek thought, still looking away from her. I don�t want you doing this.
Alex, I need to get you out of here. Scully�s knees were weak, her legs felt like rubber.
Dana, they�re not planning on letting us go.
Scully swallowed as more tears fell down her face. Tell me what to do.
Take Cade and get as far away from here as you can.
No.
Cade will be able to warn you if anyone is close. You will be able to hide. No matter what that Cooper guy is telling you. Cade will know if anyone is coming.
No.
But-
I�m not leaving you behind again, Alex. Scully took a moment away from her wrapping to look up at him. She waited until he returned her gaze.
When he looked at her, his eyes were full of despair. They were wide and round. They looked as if he were an animal caught in a trap. And in some ways, he was.
Dana, they�re not going to let me go. I�m not getting out. You need to leave.
Scully returned his gaze for a second before pulling off the latex gloves, covered in his blood. It was the only time they�d had any piece of quiet in the last three years. The last time they�d seen each other, after over two years, everything had happened in the space of five minutes. Then the next time they meet, she socks him in the head then shoots him in the leg. Nice.
I won�t leave you behind again, Alex. She held his gaze a moment longer before finishing the wrap on his leg. Cade needs you. Mulder needs you. I need you. I won�t let you play the martyr anymore.
Who said anything about being a martyr? I just don�t want you to shoot me again.
Scully let some breath escape her in laughter. She couldn�t help it. She gathered all the courage she had to examine his face. She wanted to make sure she hadn�t busted his teeth. She felt along his jaw line and his eyes followed her face. She couldn�t bear the defeat in his expression. He�d never given up before.
Just tell me what to do, Alex.
I keep telling you what to do. Krycek�s eyes filled with tears. Take Cade and go.
Quit being a hero and help me. Tell me what to do. You might as well help me because I�m not going to leave you here. Mulder is trying, Skinner is trying, the Lone Gunmen are trying. Scully let her hands linger on his face a moment longer than she needed to and looked him in the eyes. I�ll find away to talk to you again. Just think of something. I promise, we�ll get you out.
Dana?
What? She sniffed as her hands left his face.
He looked away from her again. The tears on his face could have been due to his pain.
Make sure you wipe your eyes before you leave.
***
Scully sat in the car in the parking garage of the hotel where her Mom and Cade were.
It should have made her feel better, when in fact talking to Krycek had made her feel so much worse. She felt paralyzed by his despair. She had expected him to have a plan. She hadn�t expected defeat. She was also mortified at what she had resorted to. She had panicked. She had been desperate. She had been taken over by someone completely different. She had been viewing herself from far away.
She knew that Krycek didn�t blame her. He didn�t hold anything against her for it. He had already forgiven her. He had never been angry by it in the first place. That�s just the way he was.
Her hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles were white. An old Peter Gabriel song was on the radio.
��River�Show me how to float�I feel like I�m sinking down��
How many times could she say to herself, this has been the worst day of my life?
��Thought that I could get along�But here in this water�My feet won�t touch the ground��
How many times could she think to herself, I�ve never been this lost before?
��I need something�To turn myself around��
How many times could she ask herself, what the hell am I going to do?
��Going away�Away towards the sea�River deep, can you lift up and carry me��
How many times could she tell herself, one more thing and I�ll just break.
�Hey, Scully?�
Thank God.
It was Mulder.
She didn�t respond. She didn�t need to. She knew he would take care of her now.
Mulder opened the car door and knelt down next to her. �You okay?�
She slowly nodded mechanically.
�You sure?�
She shook her head.
His eyes wandered to her hands. �Scully, are you going to let go of the steering wheel?�
She didn�t respond.
�Okay, Scully.� Mulder reached over and took her hands off of the steering wheel. �Come on.�
She let him put his arms around her and leaned her head on her shoulder. �All I wanted to do was see my son. I needed to see him after today. That�s all I wanted.�
�I�ll take you up there.� He said softly.
�I can�t.� She said in a shaky voice.
�Yes, you can.�
�No, I can�t.� Tears threatened and this only made her feel worse. She was normally so strong.
�Yes, you can. We�ll walk to the elevator, hit the button, and go to their rooms.�
Her voice was almost too low to hear. �Mulder, I�ve done something so horrible.�
�I saw what you did.� Mulder said soothingly. �You did what you had to. I know that he understands.�
�I don�t know what to do.�
�Let�s go see Cade.� He said softly. �You�ll feel better being with him and your Mom.�
�You really expect me to go up there?� Scully asked, trembling. �So Cade can see visions of me shooting his father?�
Mulder was silent. He hadn�t thought about that.
�Mulder?�
�Yeah?�
Scully�s voice dropped to a shaky whisper. �I�m so scared.�
Mulder closed his eyes. He couldn�t remember her ever saying that to him before. He felt like all this was his fault. He felt responsible. He felt guilty for inflicting everyone he cared about with such drama.
��River�Oh river�River running deep�Bring me something that will let me get to sleep��
�It�s okay, Scully.� Mulder said softly. �Everything will be fine. Everything will be wonderful.�
Mulder didn�t know who he was trying to convince more, Scully or himself.
��In the washing of the water�Will you take it all away�Bring me something to take this pain away��
***
Mulder knocked on Skinner�s door, Scully by his side. He was afraid of the desolate look in her eyes. Her far away eyes. Mulder frowned, remembering the Rolling Stones on a jukebox in a seedy bar. �Far Away Eyes� had been playing and he�d been losing his mind.
Skinner opened the door and looked between the two of them. He didn�t say anything, but immediately took Scully in a hug upon seeing the expression on her face.
�Sir.� Mulder stepped inside the house, a serious look on his face. �Is everyone here?�
�Just like every Sunday night, Mulder.�
Mulder passed Skinner as he stepped into the house. Marie emerged from the kitchen and he gave her a small smile.
The grin she returned immediately disappeared when Skinner led Scully into the house by the hand.
Scully felt Marie�s small sliver of animosity. Damn, Marie thought. I wish he would have called ahead to warn me.
�Get used to it.� Scully said, smiling bitterly at Marie. �Mulder loves to keep people in the dark. In fact, I�m fairly certain that he invented the concept.�
Everyone looked over at Scully as she blurted that statement out into silence. Her body posture and tone of voice indicated that she was angry and tired and not taking anyone�s crap. The glazed look in her eyes did nothing to promote an image of stability.
Marie looked like she�d been slapped in the face.
�Besides,� Scully continued, �this isn�t exactly my location pick of the night. We can be unhappy together.�
The Lone Gunmen exchanged confused glances as Skinner sighed.
Scully returned all the gazes that were directed her way and realized her mistake.
�Oh, I�m sorry.� Scully said to Marie, trying hard not to be snotty, but knowing that�s what was coming across anyway. �I thought you�d said that out loud.�
Mulder couldn�t help the small grin that surfaced on his face.
�Come on.� Skinner tugged a little on Scully�s arm. �Let me get you some scotch. I have Glen Livit.�
Mulder moved to Frohike�s side and spoke softly to him. �Did Cooper call?�
�Yes.� Frohike whispered back. �He�s on his way over. Mulder?�
�What?�
�Why are we whispering?� Frohike asked.
�It�s a matter of principle.� Mulder replied.
�Principle of what?� Frohike whispered back.
�Fox, what the hell is going on?�
It was Marie. She stood glaring at him.
Koskie was by her side. �What happened, Mulder. Scully looks like hell.�
�We�re going back to your place, Koskie.�
�My place?� Koskie tilted his head at Mulder.
�Yes.� Mulder looked between him and Marie. �I need to tell you a story.�
Koskie�s face was unusually serious. �Is it bedtime?�
Mulder sighed and looked towards the kitchen where Scully and Skinner were. �It�s bedtime.�
�Bedtime?� Koskie�s face was one of perpetual surprise. �You�re serious?�
�Totally serious.�
�Totally and completely serious?�
�So completely serious.�
�Completely and radically serious?�
�Don�t push your luck, Koskie.�
***
Mulder told them everything.
From Bellefleur, Oregon to Bellefleur, Oregon. From his sister to his brother. From Scully to Scully.
He told them everything.
He let them sit in silence and mull over what they�d learned while he made a phone call.
When he came back into the room, they were still silent. He sat down on the coffee table across from them and he waited. After awhile, as if an unspoken signal had crossed between them, Koskie and Marie both looked back at him.
�Does this all make sense?� Mulder asked. �Because I�d be confused. Do you have any questions.�
�I have one.� Koskie said softly. �How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?�
The doorbell rang.
Mulder opened the door and was immediately rewarded with a puff of smoke in his face.
He grinned sarcastically at Cancer Man. �Hiya, Pop.�
***
Scully sat in a conference room with a dozen other people. They were all gathered around a large, circular table, exchanging data and hypothesizing. She doodled on her notepad, hardly hearing anything going on around her. She had consumed too much scotch at Skinner�s the night before.
Mulder had taken off with Marie and Koskie and she�d waited a long a time before giving up and taking a shower when Cooper showed up. She had stood in the water as hot as she could stand it, trying to sear the days events off of her skin. She had showered in candlelight, wanting to keep it as dark as possible in the bathroom. She didn�t want to see herself in the mirror. She didn�t think she could stand it. She had crashed in Skinner�s spare room while Cooper and the Lone Gunmen joined Skinner for dinner. �Hemorrhage� by Fuel was on the bedside radio clock and the lyrics had kept her awake.
�Sorry to keep you waiting.�
Scully looked up from her daydreaming to see Cancer Man enter the room. She wasn�t prepared to see Krycek and Gibson follow in him, a guard behind them.
�I�m sure you are all familiar with these two young men.�
Scully fought to keep a calm facade as she looked over at Krycek. He had limped in horribly, supported by Gibson, but it was amazing how quickly his body was healing. She could sense the thick confusion from the two of them and guessed that they had been heavily sedated.
Krycek scanned everyone in the room. Dana, what the hell is going on?
I have no idea.
Spender is up to something. Gibson�s voice penetrated her skull. I think he�s going to take us.
Cooper stood up from his seat next to Scully and walked around the table. �What is this about?�
�I�ve come across information.� Spender said, pulling out a cigarette. �I believe that they will both cooperate with us from now on.�
�What information?� Kaslo, the insider from the CIA, leaned forward.
�Why don�t you tell them, Dr. Scully?� Spender lit his cigarette and inhaled deeply.
Krycek and Gibson�s head swiveled in sync towards her. She looked around the table as a wave of heat surged through her.
�I don�t know what you�re talking about.� She said to Spender.
�I�ve been told by my own source that she is here to sabotage the operation, and to free Alex Krycek.� Spender smiled. �As some of you may or may not already know, he is the father of her child.�
The room was silent.
Jesus Christ. Krycek�s thoughts slammed into her head and she felt his ripple of shock. Dana, what the hell is going on? This is bad. This is so very bad.
Scully took one last stab at the story she�d been told would save her. She didn�t dare look at Krycek.
�I work for the NSA.� She said in a clear, strong voice. �My background in hard science led Mr. Cooper to seek me out, to help debunk the X-Files and now to create the vaccine. I can only assure you, gentlemen that like you, I am only here to get the job done.'
All heads turned towards Cooper for explanation. He was standing at the head of the table, his fingertips lightly resting on the oak surface. If possible, his pallor complexion paled even more.
Dana, this is all wrong. Krycek�s voice sounded in her head. There�s something wrong.
�She�s telling the truth.� Cooper affirmed. �I asked her myself.�
�Where did you get this information?� Kaslo asked, everyone turning back to Spender.
�My source with the Verein, my contact with the FBI.� Spender flicked ashes onto the floor. �I�m sure you�ve heard of him. Fox Mulder, my son.�
The room seemed to spin around Scully. She didn�t believe for an instant that Mulder was working with Cancer Man, but why was he saying this?
She couldn�t help it; she looked at Krycek. He was staring right back at her, equally astonished.
Dana, he�s always been selective about who he tells Fox about. It�s been his way of protecting him.
Scully watched as Spender came around the table to stand behind her. She felt his intention a split second before both Krycek and Gibson warned her, a split second before he pressed a gun to the back of her head.
�I think you know what I need, Alex.� Spender said in his soft voice.
Krycek didn�t say anything; he merely met his fathers gaze.
�Come on, Alex.� Spender said, putting a hand around Scully�s arm. �Doesn�t it just make you sick that I�m touching her, that I can shoot her and kill her and she would be dead before the signature even reached your ears?�
Krycek remained silent, forcing himself not to look at Scully.
