'Pink Floyd. He said that he'd always thought they were singing to him. That all their songs mirrored his feelings.'
��But it was only fantasy�No wall was too high�As you can see�No matter how hard he tried he could not break free�And they worms ate into his brain��
Mulder shook his head, trying to somehow get away from the feeling that his brother was alone, suffering and in pain. He had many regrets the past three years, but none as strong as the passing time that was wasted over the last three years. He felt the same way whenever he boarded the plane back to the East Coast. Always felt like he was going to miss something.
He sighed. �I really hate it when I have to leave.�
�Well.� Scully said, pulling him to his feet. �You never really HAVE to leave, you know.�
�Ah, Scully.� He let her help him up off the deck. �You know me better than that.�
�Unfortunately.� She sighed. �Yes, I do.�
�I�ll be back by the end of the month, Scully.� He pulled her into a hug. �You know that.�
Scully accepted his hug and they stood in the embrace for a few moments, each thinking their own thoughts of times past, and times they both hoped would come.
�I feel, Scully, that there are times ahead.� Mulder said. �That nothing is done, that the future�s uncertain and the end is always near��
She smiled against his shoulder. �And I feel, Mulder, that you were Jim Morrison in an alternate universe�That the times ahead have everything to do with you sitting half-baked around a foldable card table, much like that 70�s show, laughing at nothing and rambling on nonsensically��
Mulder laughed, tilting his head back. �You and I still have some times left, my partner, hopefully involving the great idiocy of my brother and a few other unmentionable personalities, maybe sitting half-baked around a card table, spewing obscenities at each other and giggling like imbecile�s until the sun comes up.�
�I can only hope that day will come.� Scully said as they both wondered about the future ahead of them. She smiled as her favorite part of the song played on.
��Hey you�Out there on the road�Always doing what you�re told�Can you help me��
Mulder closed his eyes again at the thought of his brother. He didn�t know how he could help him. He only knew that he could not leave him out there, all alone. For all their sake�s. For Scully�s, for Cade�s, and for his own.
��Hey you�Don�t tell me there�s no help at all�Together we stand�Divided�We fall��
***
Scully was tidying up the kitchen after dinner. Mulder had left earlier in the day and she was already missing him. She was missing anyone. She had been out here alone for far too long. At least when she�d been out here with Krycek, it had been a little easier. Then, they�d been waiting for the arrival of Cade, she�d been enjoying the summer scene, having had been far too wrapped up in the East Coast, the X-files, the seriousness of everything. She�d been rediscovering herself. The carefree Dana she�d found out here at the beach was good to her.
��No one knows what it�s like�To be the bad man�To be the sad man�Behind blue eyes��
The song that played softly over the speakers caused Scully to jerk. She remembered a couple of years ago, walking out onto the deck and finding Krycek listening to that song. His face had been hard, evil, set in stone. Not the Alex she knew, but the way she remembered Krycek.
��No one knows what it�s like�To be hated�To be faded�To telling only lies��
She had stood to the side, marveling at the fact that he was so lost in the past. He hadn�t noticed her yet, sixth sense or not. He was simply staring straight ahead. The only feeling she caught from him was despair. Maybe a little anger mixed in for good measure.
��But my dreams�They aren�t as empty�As my conscience seems to be��
She knelt down next to him. She really didn�t like the look on his face, the look of Krycek. How he been so evil and manipulating and done a one-eighty on himself baffled her mind.
��No one knows what it�s like to feel these feelings�Like I do��
She put a hand on his arm. �Are you wallowing in your mire again?�
He shook his head, remaining silent.
��But my dreams�They aren�t as empty�As my conscience seems to be��
�And here I thought you were flawless.� She said. �But I guess even the laid-back, mellow, Taoist surfer has a momentary lapse of reason every now and again.�
His face relaxed in a smile as he looked over at her.
�Oh there you are, Alex.� She returned his grin. �I was wondering where you went.�
The doorbell ringing roused Scully out of her reverie. She looked towards the front door and frowned. Who the hell could that be?
�Stay there, sweetheart.� She said, motioning for Cade to hang out in the living room. She crept towards the door, swiping her .44 off the top of the kitchen cabinets on the way, the whole time trying to get a sense of who was on the other side of the door.
�Dana.� A voice urgently hissed through the door.
Scully stood still. She was rooted to the spot, her mind spinning. It couldn�t be him. It couldn�t.
�Agent Scully.� The voice came again.
She reached out and unlocked the door, opening it to see the two men on the other side.
�Sir?� Scully asked, her voice high and unsure.
Skinner smiled down at her before hugging her. �I can�t tell you how good it is to see you, Dana.�
She stood inside his strong embrace, numb and unfeeling.
�Sir.� She stammered out. �How did you know?�
He pulled away at the sound of Cade�s voice as the little boy ran up.
�Uncle Walter!�
Skinner caught the boy in a hug, laughing and giving him a peck on the cheek. Cade hugged him back, throwing his little arms around Skinner�s neck, and gave him his own little kiss.
Scully stared at the two of them. It was so odd to see Skinner and her son, interacting in this way. Come to think of it, she shouldn�t be surprised. Krycek had kept the old friends and family around quite a bit, judging from all the home videos she�d been able to get through. She�d always assumed that Mulder had concocted some story about where Krycek and Cade had gone. Traveling the world or holed up snowboarding in the Swiss Alps. Surfing the hotspots of Africa. Something.
She suddenly became aware of Skinner�s wardrobe. Khakis and a Hawaiian shirt over those broad shoulders? Totally shaved head and sunglasses? He looked celebrity-worthy and she smiled in spite of herself. The serious guy with Skinner looked even more out of place than her former boss, jeans and a T-shirt, baseball cap covering his black hair.
�Nice threads, Sir.�
�Why don�t we drop the Sir, call me Walter.�
�How did you know?� She asked again. She didn�t dare ask if Mulder had said something. For all she knew, they weren�t aware that Mulder knew she was alive.
Skinner set Cade down and Scully put an arm around Cade�s shoulders.
�I didn�t, Agent Scully.� Skinner said. �I was recently told. By this guy.�
The man with Skinner hunkered down and smiled into Cade�s face.
�So this is the little guy who�s going to save the world.�
Scully pulled Cade closer to her, smashing him against her legs.
�Agent Scully-�
She held up a hand at Skinner. �Why don�t we just stick to Dana, okay?�
�I think that�s a good idea.� He nodded. �Let me introduce you to Dale Cooper.�
�Agent Dale Cooper?� She asked, turning to him, recognition on her face.
Cooper smiled gently, his perfect, white teeth matching his perfect, white skin.
�Yes. I can see you�ve heard of him. Chip here used to be quite the agent.� Skinner said. �Mulder worked his first case with him.�
�Twin Peaks, I know all about it.� Scully said. �You�re efforts are regarded quite highly, Mr. Cooper.�
�Thank you, Miss Scully, as are yours.�
�Cooper�s with the NSA now.� Skinner said.
Scully turned towards him, trying to hide any immediate fear that surfaced on her face. �And why is the NSA visiting my house?�
Cooper leaned in close to her and whispered. �I�m here to help.�
Scully slightly leaned away from him, not liking his proximity to her or her son. �Help me?�
�The Syndicate knows you�re alive, of course, you know this, considering they exchanged you for Cade�s father. However, they were keeping it quiet, holding their cards close. That way, the greedy organization that they are, if it ever came down to the wire, the Syndicate could save themselves, and restore their New World order that they�ve been preaching about. Well, that time is upon us.�
Scully stared back at Cooper, barely able to breathe. She didn�t know where this was all going, but she knew two things. That it was bad any way you diced it. And that it had to do with her son. Probably with Krycek as well and she was sure she and Mulder would be thrown in there somewhere for good measure.
�The Syndicate has a leak. Someone with rebellion on the brain, with altruistic ideas. If it was only the Syndicate that was aware of your survival before, now it is the Verein, the CIA, and the NSA. It will not take them long to find you. And your son.�
If possible, Scully drew Cade even closer. �And you�re here because?�
�I�m here to offer you a proposition.� Cooper said. �A solution. A way out.�
***
�Okay.� Scully said when Cade was down on the sand, building one of his sandcastles. �What is this proposition of yours?�
Cooper leaned towards her, his hands folded in his lap. �I can bring you in, like you�ve been working with the NSA all along.�
Scully stared back at him, disbelief on her face. �What?�
�They�re going to find you, eventually.� Cooper said. �If you come in with me, it will seem like you�ve been working with the NSA all along. It can buy you some time, get you some protection.�
�If I go with you where?� She asked, a horrible suspicion beginning to take form in her mind.
�Time is running out. There is a rumor that we will all be joining together, in this, the final quarter of the game. The NSA, the CIA, the Verein, the Syndicate, even Naval Intelligence has been poking around.� Cooper leaned back in his chair. �It is crunch-time and all the players are on the field. Cade may be the last hope and everyone knows it. If needed, he will be hunted. And he will be found.�
Scully looked down at her son, fear enveloping her. Never a dull moment in her life. Nope. Not a one.
Scully turned back to Cooper. �Don�t you think that someone would recognize me?�
�The fact that you were incarcerated there shouldn�t have any direct bearing on anything. The reason they wanted you was for the anti-agent you carried, which you only got as a direct result of being involved in the X-Files, while cooperating with the NSA. It can all be explained. It makes sense.�
She thought for a moment. �And if I refuse?�
�Then I would suggest running now. Get as large of a jump on them as you can. Because when they decide to find you, I believe they will.�
�And you?� Scully looked over at Skinner; he�d been silent this whole time. �What do you think?�
�My opinion?� He asked.
�No, I want to know where you got that lovely designer Hawaiian shirt.�
Skinner grinned at her. �You�ve developed quite a tongue, Dana.�
She stared back at him, tilting her head and giving him �that look� which had always let people like Mulder and Krycek and her brother�s know that she wasn�t in the mood.
�It�s going to be hard either way.� Skinner said. �But like this, you have a chance. And you will be protected. It will seem like you�ve been working against the X-Files and against the people who want to expose this truth this whole time. It will throw them off, and you can help in the final stages of the vaccine creation, which will earn your story credibility. It is nearly complete and once this is over, it will be over. This new vaccine might work, but if it doesn�t, they�re going to want Cade.�
Scully shook her head. �I don�t know.�
Cooper gave her a small smile. �I�d give you time to think, if I had it to give. Wednesday is the meeting between the CIA and us. I�m fairly certain that�s when our new plans will be announced. It would be helpful if I could have you waiting in the wings. If I could just tell them that �I have the perfect scientist for you�.�
Skinner put a hand on her arm. �I think it�s the best thing. I can watch out for you. And so can everyone else.�
�The NSA, the CIA, the Syndicate will probably throw some bones your way once they realize that you�re important.� Cooper said. �What better protection than all that?�
All things are leading here? Scully thought. There are two choices, one right and one wrong, but which is which? She looked over at Cade again. How tempting to flee and hide. But what about her family, her friends, Mulder and Krycek?
They had just been talking about how to save Krycek. Maybe this was the way.
�Okay.� Scully said before her resolve weakened.
�I have to warn you.� Cooper said.
Scully gave a small laugh. �Now that I�ve agreed?�
�You�re going to be asked to do things.� Cooper said. �Things that will scare you.�
She met his level gaze. �I don�t scare easily, Mr. Cooper.�
***
Scully wandered through the beach house, lounging in jeans and one of Krycek�s old UCLA sweatshirts. She had spent the last two days packing and shipping everything that was valuable to her Mom�s house. There were tons of pictures and home videos that Krycek had saved. She had managed to pack most of his vintage Hawaiian shirts, her jewelry, some collectible�s of Cade�s that she just couldn�t bare to leave behind. Not to mention all her cherishables that she had brought out to California when she�d left her apartment in Georgetown. That seemed like a whole lifetime away, and in a way, it was.
REO Speedwagon was playing. This disturbed her, for some reason. She didn�t know why.
��But I can feel it coming�If you leave tonight keep running�And you need never look back again��
She checked the cabinets in her bathroom for the fifth time and rifled through the closet in her bedroom again. She didn�t want to leave anything behind. Just in case.
��You take it on the run baby�If that�s the way you want it baby�Then I don�t want you around��
She stood in Krycek�s room one last time, surveying everything. His surfboard was propped in the corner. She assumed it was still there from the day that Cade was born. The day that she had been taken.
��I don�t believe it�Not for minute��
Scully�s breath caught in her throat. There it was. The reason that she wasn�t getting along with REO Speedwagon today. The horrid argument had been buried in her mind but the lyrics were bringing it out for her to mull over. The mind works in mysterious ways.
'You're telling me what's true?' He quit packing and looked at her. 'I can feel almost everything you say.'
'Then you should already know.'
'No.' He replied, almost smiling. 'To quote REO Speedwagon, I don't believe it. Not for a minute.'
'We need to talk this through.'
Krycek held up his hands. 'What is there to talk through?'
She couldn't look back at him; the three of them stood in silence.
Much like the silence she was standing in now. She still felt the same. Lost, confused, alone.
Stupid.
How very, very stupid they had all been. Squabbling like teenagers at a high school dance. Not a mature one among them back then. They had fallen into their respective roles quite easily when Mulder had returned from his disappearance to find Krycek hanging around.
Mulder had wanted to run away from the situation, he tried the �if I ignore this long enough, it will go away� approach. He hadn�t communicated well with her and had refused to talk to Krycek. He had fallen into the role of the insecure, defeated, boyfriend. Krycek had been the one who wanted the three of them to �talk it through, to work it out�, while she was trying to step back and let them hash it out themselves.
Six months of space had chilled Mulder out considerably, while six months of life with friends and family had made Krycek afraid that he was going to lose it all, therefore making him more insecure. After a mental-meltdown of a conversation on the beach that had been entirely her fault to begin with, the three of them decided to play ring-around-the-emotional mindset.
Krycek had been the defeated one this time. He was the one who wanted to run away and ignore what was happening, while she wanted the three of them to talk everything through. Mulder was the logical person that time around, who had felt the need to step aside and let her and Krycek clear the air.
The whole thing had been very stupid.
��You�re under the gun�so you take it on the run��
Scully sighed and took one last look around the room before closing the door.
***
She made her last sweep through the kitchen after locking the French doors. She lifted Cade up to sit on the counter and they both washed the sand off their hands. She reached over and kissed the top of his head while drying her hands with a dishtowel.
�Mommy, your ring.�
She knitted her eyebrows together. �What, sweetheart?�
�Your ring.� Cade pointed his little fingers towards the corner of the counter. Scully leaned down a bit to look under the raised counter and her heart stopped before jumping into her throat�They had been at Fashion Island, window-shopping in Neiman Marcus; she�d seen the ring and pouted playfully. It was a band of Celtic lace in white gold. A few days later, she�d been on the deck when he casually sauntered out with an up-to-no-good look at his face.
�I�m not striking a pose here, Dana.� Krycek had held his hand out towards her. �Gimme your hand, I�m not going to bite you.�
�With you, Alex, one can never be sure.�
He dropped the ring into her outstretched hand and she gasped.
�Alex, I can�t take this.�
�The first present I ever give anyone and it�s rejected right off the bat. How rude. What kind of pattern am I supposed to develop off of this response?�
�It�s not that I don�t like it-�
�Next time you see something you like,� Krycek had said, �I�ll just be proactive and break it right in front of you.�
Scully slid the band on the ring finger of her right hand and admired it.
�I can see if I brought you home one karat diamond earrings or something that you could refuse, but come on, it�s white gold, how expensive can it be?�
�I�m not stupid, Alex. If you brought home diamond earrings, I would justify keeping them.�
�Oh great, so now the ring�s not good enough.�
She laughed before glancing up at him. �I don�t know what to say.�
�You don�t have to say anything.�
�Yes, I do-�
�No really.� He grinned. �I can read your mind, you don�t have to say anything.�
Scully burst into laughter. �You�re such an asshole.�
He gasped. �I�m so glad our poor child isn�t around to hear the way you�re talking to its father.�
�The poor child would probably agree with me.� She said, giving him a look.
�I�m hurt. I�m shocked and amazed. I even brought gifts and still got kicked to the curb.�
The phone rang and he pushed himself off the railing.
�Yeah, you mind getting that for me?� Scully asked, taking a drink of her tea.
�You know, I don�t need this abuse.�
�Whatever.� She said, throwing a look in his direction. �Punk.�
�Loser.� He disappeared into the house.
�Freak.� She called after him.
�Crackhead.� He yelled back.
Scully stared at the ring, still in the corner from years ago. Had it really been that long? They were going to clean out all the pumpkins and she hadn�t wanted to get it all goopy. She had taken it off and set it under the counter.
�Maybe I should put this away, with my luck it will go down the drain.�
�I�m sure it�ll be fine under there.� He replied as she pushed it into the corner.
The memory hit her like a hard wave in the ocean.
��Hey Jude�Don�t make it bad�Take a sad song�And make it better��
'You're not very neat in the kitchen.' Scully said, cutting open another pumpkin.
'Cook first, clean later.' Krycek said, scooping out seeds and innards.
She hated these memories that seemed to pop up out of nowhere. She hated that she could still sense everything. She hated that she could be upset at any time and that she couldn�t hide this from Cade.
Her hands were shaking and she put them over her face.
Krycek turned back towards her, grinning mischievously. He picked all the seeds out of his hands, and was left holding the goo. He flicked his eyes up at her.
Scully slowly looked over at him, shaking her head. 'Don't you dare.'
'What?' He asked innocently.
�Mommy. You can get it.� She felt Cade�s small hands on her arm. �He left it there for you.�
Krycek took another step towards her and was rewarded with a nice splat of pumpkin in his face.
'Dana!' He acted surprised. 'What on earth would posses you to do such a thing?' He threw his own handful and it landed with a resounding 'smack' on her forehead.
When she finally managed to pull herself together enough to take her hands away from her face, Cade was holding the ring out to her. �He left it there, Mommy.�
Scully did her best to smile and took the ring. The second her fingers touched his, her mind was flooded with images.
Her Mom, Frohike, Langly and Skinner were at the breakfast table. They�d been discussing her funeral. Mulder was leaning against the wall five feet away, looking like he�d rather be anywhere but here. Krycek had been putting dishes in the sink and had spotted her ring in the corner.
Scully suddenly couldn�t breathe, she felt like she�d had the wind knocked out of her and knew she was feeling what Krycek had felt. She was reliving his memory. She couldn�t breathe.
She heard her Mom�s voice. �Alex?�
�Alex.� Skinner�s voice came next.
�What�s wrong?� Frohike had asked.
Krycek took a step away from the sink, eyes glued to the ring.
He was shaking. His eyes burned with tears. His chest was tight. He couldn�t breathe.
�Krycek.� Mulder was at his side and gently took his arm, a mixture of anger and sorrow burning in his eyes. �Look at me, Krycek.�
�Damn.� Frohike said, standing on Krycek�s other side. �It�s her ring.�
There was silence in the room until her Mom walked up to him. �Come on, Alex. Let�s take a walk.�
�Should I put it somewhere?� Frohike�s voice sounded in his head as he was mechanically walking out the French doors. Scully could feel someone�s arm, probably her mom�s, around his shoulders, guiding him. He still couldn�t breathe.
�He�ll need to deal with it later.� Mulder�s voice softly followed him out. �Leave it there.�
�Shit.� Skinner�s voice was faint in the house. �I�m not sure he�s going to make it through this.�
Scully was trembling. She looked at Cade, not quite knowing how to phrase the question.
�From Daddy.� He said, answering her unanswered question.
�He showed you that?� Scully asked in disbelief.
Cade shook his head. �I can see them.�
�You can see them? You can see what, sweetheart?�
Cade shrugged. He looked back at her. �I feel the big ones.�
She stared back at her son on the verge of tears, her eyes wide. She had a feeling that there was going to be a lot about Cade that they wouldn�t know until he was old enough to communicate better.
Cade began to hum. The melody was familiar. Bell Bottom Blues.
***
The Town Car pulled up in front of the building that had been her prison for just over two years. Scully eyed it with distaste as a string of curses flowed through her mind. She must be insane to agree to this in the first place. What if this didn�t work? What if they couldn�t pull it off? Spender, the vilest man ever to crawl the earth, wasn�t a stupid man. What if he saw right through this?
Cooper looked over at her, raising his eyebrows in question and she nodded back. Too late now.
Her legs became rubbery as they approached the entrance, thinking of Spender and all the time she�d been subjected to him and his wench of a sidekick. Diana Fowley had played Mulder like a fool, using him to get close to her and Krycek. She had been working for the Verein, for a cause that Mulder had believed in, using whatever information she could squeeze out of him and then reporting back to the Syndicate.
Remind me why I�m doing this, she asked herself.
For Cade, for Mulder, for Krycek, for myself, for everyone.
