His partner smiled. �I was trying to be politically correct.�
�I guess there�s a first time for everything.� Mulder said, trying to clear his head of the pain. �I should get frequent flyer miles or something every time I stop in one of these places. What happened?�
�You passed out.� Koskie said, pulling the chair closer to the bed. �You put your hands over her face, you swayed, El Clunko.�
Mulder raised his eyebrows at Koskie. �Clunko?�
�You smacked your head pretty hard.� Koskie said. �We tried to catch you, but still, clunko.�
�Is that the medical term?�
�You have a concussion.� Koskie said. �Other than that you�re physically fine.�
�Good.� Mulder said. �Then they don�t need to hold me that long.�
�You�re going to need to speak to Skinner.� Koskie said, not looking at him. �He�s around here somewhere.�
Mulder eyed his partner for a moment. �Koskie?�
�You know, these hours you keep, Mulder.� He said, rubbing his hands over his face. �They are going to age me. I need my beauty sleep. I think we need to set up a schedule that�s a tad more conventional.�
�What aren�t you telling me, Koskie?�
He only got silence in response. Koskie was staring at the floor, chewing on his bottom lip.
�Koskie, don�t make me come across this hospital bed.�
�Always joking.� His partner met his eyes, gave him a small smile. �Defense mechanism?�
Another flash invaded Mulder�s memory without warning.
Krycek burst into laughter and Mulder joined him.
'Never thought you'd be such a smartass.' Mulder said.
'Defense mechanism.' Krycek said.
Mulder nodded. �I have that installed myself.'
Mulder shook his head in the present, regardless of the pain. These memories that kept barging in on him were probably not a healthy indicator of what was happening to his mind. Not to mention they might be hazardous to his health and the well being of those around him. He nearly killed himself and Koskie on the drive back to New York because his past decided he needed a refresher course on the last year of his life.
He was going to have to do something about this.
�You okay, Mulder?� Koskie asked.
�You know, Koskie,� Mulder replied, �I�m starting to think that maybe I�m not operating at full capacity.�
Mulder didn�t know why it felt so good to tell someone his fear that maybe he was losing his mind. He normally didn�t confide in anyone. Except Scully. A little. Sometimes.
�That�s understandable after all you�ve been through, Mulder.� Koskie said softly. �You haven�t taken any time off to deal with losing your partner. You guys worked together for a long time. It�s fairly obvious you two were close.�
He doesn�t have any idea just how close Scully and I were, Mulder thought. Poor guy, he�s been thrown right into the middle of this. Getting attacked by a chicken only two days after being assigned to the X-Files, a dead-end job that no one wants. Dealing with Dale Cooper, the NSA, and hearing horror stories about the impending destruction of the human race. Now he has to deal with me, slowly but surely losing my mind. And all he can do is stand there and be supportive.
�Maybe you need some time off.� Koskie suggested softly. �Time to rest and think. Maybe take a vacation and go somewhere you�ve always wanted to.�
�Bad timing, for you, Koskie.� Mulder said. �Sorry you have to deal with this.�
�With which part?� Koskie asked, smiling. �The smelly underground tour of New York City? Or the disastrous rave you took me to? I mean, I know you were trying to impress me and I�m sorry it ended so horribly, but you start inviting bad elements and you never know what�s bound to show up. Take the inter-stellar chicken, for example. He went through great lengths to be here for that little soiree and look at what happened to him? I�ll bet he�s really pissed, came through a couple of galaxies, made a trip across the Atlantic, wandered the nihilistic sewer system�But I digress.�
�I think I get the point, Koskie.�
�Climbing around in the heating ducts was definitely not something I�d choose to do again.� Koskie went on. �And don�t think you�re going to get away with taking me out to Happy Jack�s or whatever the name of that dirty, bug-infested, hole in the wall was. You call that a dinner date? I don�t think so, Mulder. I�m talking Filet Mignon, Dom Perignon, if you want me to put out, it ain�t gonna be cheap.�
Mulder stared at Koskie, really not sure of how to reply. He�d always been able to win the battle of words. There was only one person he could remember who had ever beat him into laughter before he could respond. Krycek.
'Well.' Krycek said, turning away from the beach and leaning against the railing. 'If you really want me to, I can put my feet up at the dinner table and chew with my mouth open.'
'That'd be a nice start,� Mulder had responded, �but can you use three foul words in each sentence, maybe give Bill the finger every fifteen minutes.'
Krycek nodded. 'I could even try to work in an unflattering bodily function every now and then.'
'You'd really do that for me?' Mulder smiled at him.
Krycek nodded, winking and pointing at him. 'Gotcha back, bro.'
Mulder had laughed hard, unable to continue the banter.
�What are you thinking about?� Koskie asked him. �You got that shit eating grin on your face again.�
�Well,� Mulder responded, sighing, �That kinda thing happens when you�re a taco short of a combination plate.�
It was Koskie�s turn to mull that statement over in his mind. He finally cracked a grin. �What the hell?� He asked, beginning to snicker. �A taco short of a combination plate?�
Mulder joined his chuckling and the two careened off into laughter as Skinner walked into the room.
�Agents.� He greeted them, looking surprised at their light behavior. �How are you feeling, Mulder?�
�My head hurts like hell.� He responded, his laughter trailing off. �With the clunko and all.�
Skinner sighed, hating to bring this up and put a damper on Mulder�s mood.
�You don�t have to say anything, Sir.� Mulder said. �Koskie and I talked and I think it�d be a good idea for me to take some time off. I need to use some of that vacation I�ve banked anyway.�
Skinner thought to himself that he couldn�t have been more surprised if Cancer Man had entered the room dressed Kiss-style, silver platform boots included, dancing around like Paul Stanley and singing �I Was Made For Loving You�.
�Take as much time as you need, Agent Mulder.� Skinner said, looking at Koskie in astonishment. How the hell did he manage to spin that one? Not even Scully had been able to penetrate Mulder�s thick skull. �Let�s let him get some rest, Agent Koskie.�
�I�ll be right behind you.� Koskie replied, watching him leave then turning back to Mulder. �You know, my sister and I have a Saturday night ritual. We call it �Pathetic, Law Enforcement Agents With No Time To Get A Real Life Night�.�
�Yeah?�
�Yeah.� Koskie nodded. �We rent cheesy horror flicks or corny comedies, stuff ourselves with pasta and get wasted on Sangria. Marie makes the best Sangria. From scratch. Fruit marinating all day. The whole nine yards.�
Mulder nodded. �Sounds perfect.�
�You should come check it out.�
Mulder hesitated. �I wouldn�t want to intrude on the whole brother-sister thing.�
Koskie laughed. �No, no, Mulder. It�s on open invitation every week for a lot of pathetic law enforcement agents. Sometimes there�s just Marie and me other times it�s a rager. I�m sure you�ll run into some people you know from the Bureau. We all know how wildly popular you are around there. You�ll have fun, promise. Take a break from hiding like a mole every now and then.�
�You know who you remind me of?� Krycek�s face popped up in his mind again, standing on the deck and drinking a beer. �Running around, never having time for anyone or anything else. Mindlessly dedicated on working for a cause that really has no meaning to anyone. You know who you�ll turn into if you�re not careful?�
Mulder stared back at Krycek, trying not to appear too concerned with what he was saying. �Who�s that?�
�Our father.�
Strange, Mulder thought. For once, he agreed with Krycek. Maybe the half-alien is as smart as everyone say�s he is. Mulder smiled up at Koskie. �You want me to bring anything?�
Koskie returned the grin. �I think we got everything covered, but you can bring whatever you want. As long as its not an eight-foot rubber chicken with a manicure and an attitude problem. I mean, you know how much he loves to party.�
�I�ll try to break it to him gently.� Mulder said. �But he will be heartbroken.�
They were silent for a moment, and then Koskie put a hand on Mulder�s arm. �Get some rest. I�ll check back in later. Need anything before I go?�
Yeah, Mulder thought, I need a lot of things. �No, just something to get this stupid song out of my head. I don�t know where it came from and it�s driving me crazy.�
�Driving you crazy?� Koskie smiled at him. �Mulder, I think wherever crazy was driving, you got dropped off a long time ago.�
�Agent Koskie, whatever are you trying to say?�
�Oh nothing, just that whole�� Koskie twirled a finger in circles next to his ear. �You know�Until you find that taco��
Mulder grinned at him. �Get out of my room, you asshole.�
Koskie made kissing noises at him as he shut the door.
Mulder shook his head, smiling. The thought that Koskie reminded him of Krycek did not escape him. The sarcasm, the causal air that seemed to hover over him, the fact that he couldn�t stay serious for any length of time. It was probably the reason he�d grown to like Koskie so quickly.
Liking Koskie was the easy way to like Krycek without actually having to like Krycek.
And he�d never found himself trusting someone so quickly. Not even Scully.
There he went again, over analyzing everything. Couldn�t it be that Koskie was genuinely a nice guy who could make him laugh? Mulder smiled to himself. Koskie was one hell of an obnoxious guy who didn�t take anyone�s crap. He liked that about Koskie. He liked that about anybody.
Mulder put his pillow over his head, begging the annoying song in his head to go away. He hadn�t heard that song in easily over fifteen years. Not to mention there were a lot better songs by the band then that poppy, disco rock song. He sang it softly into the pillow, hoping to hear it would make it would go away.
�I was made for loving you baby�You were made for loving me�And I can�t get enough of you baby�Can you get enough of me��
What the hell had made him think of Kiss?
***
Mulder stood at the front door of Koskie�s townhouse, debating for the tenth time in the short walk up the cement path whether or not he really wanted to do this. He was no good in crowds, no good at small talk, no good at being, well, sociable. He had never fit in anywhere. Not in high school, not in college, and definitely not in the Bureau. It sounds awfully loud in there, Mulder thought. Maybe I should turn around and walk away. I could go home, drink some beer, watch my own damn movies�
You know who you�ll turn into if you�re not careful?
Who�s that?
Our father.
Damn you, Krycek.
Mulder forced himself to knock on the door before he could think twice about it.
The level of the noise as soon as the door opened almost knocked him back a couple of steps.
�Agent Mulder?�
Mulder found himself face to face with someone who looked vaguely familiar. He put him in a suit, took off the baseball cap, took away the slight drunken buzz of the man�
�Danny?� Mulder asked.
�What are you doing here?� They both asked then laughed at each other.
�It�s PLEA night, Agent Mulder.� Danny said, grinning lopsidedly at him.
�So I heard.� Mulder replied, thinking it was almost surreal to be standing here informally with a drunken Danny. �You come here often?�
�Yes.� Danny nodded, then burst into a laugh. �So I guess that would make me really pathetic.�
Mulder grinned at him. �Don�t feel bad, Danny. You can see where I ended up tonight.�
�Agent Mulder,� Danny suddenly became solemn, �I never got to tell you how sorry I was to hear about Agent Scully.�
Mulder took a moment, swallowed the lump in his throat, and somehow managed to smile at Danny. �Thank you, I appreciate it. And just call me Mulder. We�re not at work right now.�
�Loser!� Koskie shouted, pointing at Mulder as he appeared behind Danny in the doorway.
Mulder grinned at his partner. �The one and only.�
Koskie leaned out to look around and clucked a couple of times. �No Big Bird?�
�I don�t think Big Bird is a chicken.�
�You never can be too safe with any feathery fowl.� Koskie clapped Mulder on the shoulder and began to spew words in a Scottish accent. �Whaddaya doin� standin� out in the freezin� cold, lad?�
Mulder looked at Koskie, feigning confusion as he entered the house. �Maybe you should have done voiceovers for cartoons instead of writing cards for Hallmark.� Mulder took a sip of his drink and looked at it. �Oh my god. Damn, that�s good.�
�Didn�t I tell you?�
�Don�t get used to being right, Koskie. It isn�t going to happen very often.� Mulder took another sip as they entered the living room where everyone was.
The room grew considerably quiet as half a dozen faces from the Bureau turned to see Agent Spooky Mulder not twenty feet away.
There were perhaps twenty people crowded around, Mulder new some of them from the Bureau. The rest, he could only assume were ATF, maybe some local PD.
Koskie slapped an arm around Mulder and grinned his charming smile. �I think most of you here know Agent Mulder.�
Some raised their glasses in a toast to him, others smiled his way.
Mulder understood if they were leery of him. He was, after all, Spooky Mulder. The rebel of the FBI. The man who had more than his share of close encounters, both figuratively and literally. He was the man who had just lost his partner.
Mulder smiled back at the curious people turned his way and raised his own glass in a toast.
***
�Agent Mulder, it�s nice to finally meet you.� A man Mulder didn�t recognize was standing next to him. �I�ve heard so much about you.�
�Don�t hold that against me.� Mulder grinned.
He was surprised at how easy this way. He was mixing, he was talking, he was joking, and he was laughing. He didn�t see what the big hold-up was before.
�Agent Mulder.�
Marie was intercepting him from yet another person and Mulder grinned down at her.
�Maria Tortilla!�
She knocked her glass against his. �I�m glad you managed to drop in. Steven speaks very highly of you.�
Mulder choked on a drink he was taking and Marie grinned. �You seem surprised, Agent Mulder.�
�Surprised doesn�t begin to cover it.�
�Agent Koskie.�
Mulder turned to see his partner standing behind him, pitcher in hand.
�Yes, Agent Koskie?� Marie gave him a serious look.
�They�re crying for more Sangria.� Koskie said, topping off Mulder�s glass with the remains in the pitcher.
�Well, shit, Steven.� Marie said. �This is the last one?�
Koskie nodded. �Yes, Ma�am.�
She burst into laughter. �That was like, ten gallons!�
Mulder nearly blew Sangria all over her, trying not to laugh.
Koskie�s smile was huge. �We�ve got one hell of an inebriated group here, Agent Koskie. What are you prepared to do about it?�
Marie took the empty pitcher from him and walked towards the kitchen. �I�ll improvise.�
�Improvise?� Koskie grinned. �With Sangria?� She ignored him and he turned towards Mulder. �You find that taco yet?�
�No taco.� Mulder shook his head.
There was suddenly a lot of noise in the crowd and Mulder turned around to look behind him.
�AD Skinner?�
�Mulder, what are you doing here?�
�Getting rip-roaring drunk, Sir.� Mulder said. �What are you doing here?�
�About to join you in that.� Skinner pulled a bottle of tequila out of his pocket. �I brought this because I�m assuming that as late as I am, Marie already ran out of Sangria.�
�And you�d be correct.� Koskie said, grabbing some shot glasses from a nearby cabinet. �Even though we were always told in the academy that assuming make�s an ass-�
�Out of you and me.� Skinner and Mulder both finished with him.
�Come here often, Sir?� Mulder asked as Skinner poured shots of Cuervo.
�Every other week or so.�
�Really?�
Skinner nodded. �How long�s it been Steve?�
Koskie shrugged. �Hell, maybe a year, I don�t really know.�
�You knew each other before being assigned to the X-Files?�
�I thought you knew.� Skinner said, holding out a shot of tequila to Mulder.
�Knew what?�
�Jimmy Koskie, Steven�s dad, was my older brother�s best friend.�
Mulder was silent.
�I�ve known him since I was born.� Koskie held his shot glass out to them.
�I didn�t know you had a brother, Sir.� Mulder said, holding his glass out as well.
The three of them clinked glasses and took the shot. Mulder was reminded of the last time he�d toasted with Skinner. In a Japanese bar. He, Skinner and Scully had knocked together bottles of beer and gotten too drunk. They had been so hungover the next day; he�d fallen asleep in a meeting. The bruises on his legs from being kicked by the two of them, one on either side, trying to wake him up, had lasted for a week.
�I thought you were conceived immaculately.� Mulder said. �I cannot imagine you having siblings and parents.�
Skinner cracked a grin. �Are you trying to insult me, Agent Mulder?�
�No, sir.� Mulder shook his head.
Skinner poured another round of shots. �Have you decided what you�re going to do with your time off?�
Mulder nodded. �I�m heading out to England next week. Going to visit my old stomping grounds. Try to ditch my nervous breakdown, maybe confuse it a little, if nothing else.�
�Walter!� Marie embraced the Assistant Director warmly, pitcher in hand. �I�m so glad you made it out.�
�Do you need to pour your Sangria all down my back?� Skinner asked, grinning down at her.
�I�m sorry.� She grinned sheepishly at him before thrusting the pitcher into Koskie�s hands. �Whaddaya think?�
Koskie took a drink from the pitcher and raised his eyebrows at her. �It�s fine. Almost works. What is it?�
Marie smiled and took the pitcher. �You don�t want to know.� She walked away to refill everyone�s glasses. All three men watched her walk away.
�Must be nerve-wracking to have a younger sister in ATF.� Mulder said.
�Are you kidding?� Skinner looked at Mulder in disbelief. �She�s one of the toughest kids I�ve ever known.�
�Besides,� Koskie said, �she�s not my younger sister.�
�No?� Mulder asked, raising his eyebrows at Koskie.
He shook his head in response. �No. Marie is four years older than I am.�
�Well, damn, Koskie.� Mulder said. �You look like shit. Maybe you do need that beauty sleep.�
�What are you guys talking about?� Marie was back in the circle.
�You.� Koskie said, nudging her.
�Figures.�
Skinner handed her a shot of tequila as well and she held it up. �What are we toasting to?�
Koskie held his up. �To friends.�
�To friends.� Marie smiled between Mulder and Skinner.
�Friends.� Skinner held his up as well.
Friends? Mulder thought. His only friend was Scully. And she was gone.
You know who you�ll turn into if you�re not careful?
Who�s that?
Our father.
His old life was over. His whole family was gone. Scully was dead. He needed to start over. Try to continue on. Try to survive. It�s what Scully would have wanted.
�Friends.� Mulder said.
The four of them knocked their glasses together.
***
�Well, you were right, Mulder.�
Mulder refilled their wineglasses, not realizing how many bottles they�d been through until he set the new one down and it clanked against a couple other empty bottles. He�d been completely lost in the telling of time past and was surprised to hear classical music. What happened to The Doors?
�Bach?� He asked, raising his eyebrow.
Scully smiled and shook her head. �Pachabel Cannon in D.�
Mulder listened for a moment to the somewhat depressing melody. The ocean breeze blew softly against his face and the crashing of the surf hypnotized him. He could get used to this. The music ended and Mulder took a sip of wine in the silence as he waited for the next song to be selected. A song from his younger years came on; he couldn�t quite place it.
�What was I right about, Scully?�
�I would want you to go on.� She smiled sadly and looked out over the ocean before taking a sip of her wine.
��Girl of sixteen�Whole life ahead of her�Slashed her wrists�Bored with life��
Mulder didn�t know what to say.
�So, you went to England. How was that?�
�Really, really, really weird.� Mulder grinned. �Met up with some old friends, wandered Oxford, hit all the cool places in Cambridge. It was weird, but I�m glad I did it.�
�And you stayed on the X-Files?�
�Yes.� Mulder nodded. �But it wasn�t the same. Not much conspiracy stuff. I think Skinner was orchestrating what I was doing a little more than before to protect me. He never knew that I�d been working with the Verein.�
�So you and Koskie were just investigating, what? Witches, Jason, Stephen King novels��
Mulder laughed softly. �You could say that.�
�And you made friends, Mulder, I�m so proud.� She teased.
�You�re picking.� He said, grinning at her.
�Just a little.� She returned the smile. �You and Alex finally bury the hatchet? I saw the Christmas pictures of the two of you at my Mom�s. You guys spend a lot of time together?�
Mulder inwardly cringed. He had hoped that this wouldn�t come up. �You want the Mulder answer?�
Scully narrowed her eyes at him. �I want the truth.�
��She takes the blame�It�s always the same�She goes down on her knees and prays��
Mulder sighed. �Christmas was the first time I�d seen Krycek since�your�funeral. Whatever, you want to call it.�
�Oh, Mulder.� Scully shook her head.
�It was the first time I�d seen your Mom. The first time I�d seen Cade. It was the first time I felt strong enough to face anyone from�From before.�
Admitting something like that was so unlike him. She knew it, and so she quickly pushed away any judgment she may have been about to unleash and put a hand over his. She waited for him to continue.
�Krycek asked me to go back to Seattle with him and Cade.� Mulder intertwined his fingers with hers. �I don�t know why, but I wanted to. It was weird.�
