| Told you I was innocent. |
| Family Moments |
| "Ooh, a show on Scotland. Oh look! There's our family! That could be your great uncle Fred." :pointing at the grey harbour seals, not the people: "You know what I really miss most, is the old bed frame from when I was a little girl. All dark carved wood with a big chunk taken out of it right at head level." "What was that from?" "When my grandmother tried to get her husband with a hatchet." :plaque placed neatly in the kitchen: "Conform: Go crazy or become an artist." No two generations in this house are allowed the same last name. Shelton, MacKay, Stiffler... "My boss was giving me such a hard time at work today... So I just dared him to fire me. He didn't." "There. How do you like the our tree this year?" :just after taping up a picture of a christmas tree on a closet door: "I know how I want to die. By yak!" "When I'm an old woman... I want dreadlocks, and a little cottage with llamas and sheep." "Back when I was a teenager, I had one of those little MG cars. One night when I was stopped, a couple big football players came up behind it and picked the backend of the car up, so I just put it in reverse..." "If anyone ever attacks you... just kill them. I won't be angry!" "Dance, dance little chicky, dance!" :shaking a chicken corpse under the running kitchen faucet: "One time after the surgery, a few stitches came out, so I had to drive to the hospital with one hand holding my stomach inside!" |
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